"Get Out" - T's Birth Story

This is the story of our little monster-baby, T, and his arrival to "the outside."


Wednesday, 4 March
I rescheduled my 40-week appointment to today (one day earlier than originally planned) because of the threat of snow. Like, a lot. They were saying 6-12 inches. I pretty much knew school would be canceled, and if they closed the clinic, my appointment would be canceled. So, I wanted to be seen. I had a membrane sweep done. This was against Hubby's better judgment. Maybe I should have listened, but then again... maybe it was for the best that I just went for it. I was 3cm (and could stretch to 4 cm) dilated, but not effaced. Went on about my business.


Thursday, 5 March
This was quite a day, so I'll break it down into a timeline.

• 2:30am - Was awakened by a painful contraction. But, it was alone, so I went back to sleep.
• 10:00am - Started having more contractions. Or, at least, I noticed I was having more. Downloaded an app on my phone to track them. They were ranging from 30-60 seconds in length, and were all over the place in terms of interval. Seven minutes, then 15 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 20 minutes apart. Also, they weren't painful or seeming to grow more consistent.
• Mid-day - Convinced by a friend's Facebook post that I, too, was having "prodromal labor," I continued timing these inconsistent contractions, not realizing they were doing something. Hubby was convinced we needed to at least alert people that "stuff" was happening.
• 4:15pm - Snow was everywhere. We had gotten about 7 inches by this time. We let the neighbors know we might have to go to the hospital, but I was still not 100% sure. However, I had another painful contraction at this point.
• 7:00pm - Hubs realizes we only have a quarter tank of gas and decides to see if he can creep to the nearest gas station on the un-plowed roads. Turns out, only our neighborhood was not plowed. The adjacent streets are snow emergency routes and are (relatively) clear. They'd been plowed before the snow had stopped, so there was still a bit of a mess to deal with. He gassed up the car and came back home.
• 7:45pm - Kids' bedtime routine, and I was still able to give baths and read a bedtime story, but was decidedly more aware of the contractions. They were getting into a more regular interval (between 5-7 minutes apart) and growing a little more painful.
• 8:45pm - Watching TV with the Hubs, and I got one of those contractions that made me get off the couch and hug the ottoman. Hubs was not exactly pleased, and he asked more directly if we needed to go to the hospital now. I was like, "Uh... I don't know. No?"
• 9:30pm - Hubs and I head to bed. He jokes, "Maybe I should sleep in my clothes." Then, he asked me, "So, exactly how close should they be before we go to the hospital?" I momentarily suffer from amnesia and tell him (between contractions) to Google it. By this point, they are lasting from about 45-60 seconds and are about 2-3 minutes apart.
• 10:00pm - Hubs calls Labor and Delivery to let them know what's up and to find out if they are on deferral (and if we need to go to a different hospital). When they ask about my contractions, the on-call nurse says, "Uh, you should have left already." Got the stink-eye from Hubs. He texts our neighbor to ask her to come spend the night with the kids. She doesn't respond, so he heads over to their house and gets his feet wet in the snow because it came over his shoes.
• 10:05pm - Neighbor arrives, Hubs changes shoes, and we go.
• 10:30pm - Arrive to hospital. I am wheeled (in a wheelchair) to L&D because walking has begun to make me angry. Plus, I wasn't sure I would make it down the long hallways to get to L&D without having to stop every few feet to contract.
• 11:00pm - I am checked, baby's HR is good, my contractions are monitored, and I am dilated somewhere between 4-5 cm and effacing (but not totally there yet). I'm asked whether I want to be admitted at first, and then encouraged to be admitted but to walk around. But I won't be allowed to leave the room for some kind of liability reasons, so it's just walk around the room. I groan, probably from a contraction, but also probably from bureaucracy.
• Sometime before midnight - I am given a room and connected to monitors again. I hate continuous monitoring. Hate it.

Friday, 6 March
Most of these times are estimates. I only know for sure the last time listed. I was a little too busy to attend to the clock much on the rest.

• A little after midnight - I alert Hubs to the monitor screen and show him "TOCO." When TOCO goes up, I go berserk. TOCO is monitoring the contractions. When it is around 20, I'm okay. When it goes up above 50, I am unhappy. TOCO was pinging 100+ by now.
• 12:45am - The anesthesiologist shows up to get my consent for epidural and general anesthesia if needed. I humor him a little, but I let him know I had no intention of having any meds. He's persistent, however, so I hold up my "wait" finger during a particularly owwie contraction. I want to hold up a different finger. Hubs knows it. He is smiling behind eager anesthesiologist's back. Finally, I am able to scrawl some semblance of a signature on the "just in case" form.
• 1:15am - TOCO is going over 200 now. And it gets back to maybe 50 before going up again. I'm not getting a break anymore. The nurses are in awe (apparently, and according to Hubs) because I'm coping like a champ. A crowd gathers. They expect it will be any time now. But... it's not happening fast enough, and I can see people starting to leave after a few minutes. I get discouraged but can't really share my feelings.
• 1:45am - They get me on my back (which I hate) to check me. The OB on duty asks, "If I can get to it, do you want me to break your water?" I think I say yes. In my head, I say yes. Bad news, though... meconium in the water. My risk level just went up.
• 1:50am - I am allowed to be on my hands and knees. Grateful for the position change, I now feel like it's push time. And I start to push. And, oops! Poop. I apologize, but everyone says not to worry and keep doing my thing.
• 2:00am - Baby's HR is dropping to the 120s during contractions now. People are unhappy with that. They want me to roll back over on my back and start grabbing my legs. So, I do. And, oops! Poop again. I am screaming "Get OUUUT" at this point. I'm not sure why he hasn't been born yet. It should be easy with the third, right?
• 2:05am - Feels like I've been pushing forever. But it's only been a few times. They've put me on oxygen by now (might have happened a little bit before now). The OB says she needs to get out the vacuum. Baby needs out.
• 2:10am - The vacuum going in has a certain "wrong direction-ness" to it that I can't explain. Everything in me is like, "Nope. This is ebb tide, y'all. No swimming to shore." I think I protest about this somehow, but I might be sounding like a blithering idiot at this point. I'm not exactly lucid. I haven't opened my eyes in the last ten minutes at least. It's too much stimulation.
• 2:15am - I'm pushing, and pushing, and pushing. They fuss because I keep grunting during my pushes, when I should be holding my breath and using all the musculature in my body to get the baby out. I finally manage to get three or four in a row without grunting.
• 2:17am - He's out. Along with lots of shit-water. Hubs is grossed out. He says the boy is a "literal shithead" because his own fecal matter is all up in his hair. And he's pretty much brown all over.... until they clean him off.

It felt like forever, that they had him, working on him and helping him breathe. He cried when he emerged, but it was a sputter. They were concerned he may have aspirated the meconium, which can lead to a serious lung infection. They did suction, then deep suction. "Neonatal resuscitation" is on his chart. His APGAR scores were 6/8 because of low HR, poor color, poor motor response, and something else I can't quite recall.


When I finally got him (which was only like 20-30 minutes later, but it felt like FOREVER), he immediately latched like a champ and nursed. I still had no stats on this boy other than the time of his birth. I kept asking and no one was listening. After I'd been stitched up (because a vacuum-assisted birth does a real number on the nether regions), I was assisted to the bathroom. The nurse who took baby T from me said she'd weigh him. She and a resident commented that he felt like an eight-pound-eight-ounce baby. While I was in the bathroom, Hubs hollered in, "So... remember how they said 8 lbs, 8 oz??" I was like, yeah. "Well, how 'bout more like, 9 lbs, 9 oz." My jaw dropped. T is officially 1.5 lbs bigger than his brother, who was 1.5 lbs bigger than our girl. If we kept going, we'd have an 11-pounder next time! Regarding length, still not accurate information. We are going with 20 inches because the resident who attempted to measure him said, "He's wiggly, but we'll call this 20 inches." He was 20.5" at his appointment 3 days later, so we're really not sure. Maybe this is a difference between first-child and subsequent-children? I might care more about really knowing this information, but I also might not. He's perfect. So who cares?


He had to be "stuck" a bunch of times because they were concerned about diabetes. His blood sugar was 46, 47, 55, and 49 on each of his four fasting glucose tests (his poor little heels!!) - and it had to be above 45 for him to get the green light. So, he passed. Pediatricians checked out his lungs several times. He passed his newborn audiology test. He threw up a bloody mess, and I got freaked out, but it turns out this is normal for babies to ingest some of the blood of delivery. Gross, right?


Anyway, this baby boy is amazing. He sleeps well during the day, and sometimes also at night. He loves to cuddle. He is quiet and doesn't really make much fuss. He hates a wet diaper but doesn't seem to care about a poopy one. He would rather sleep with me than in his bassinet, but I don't sleep when he's in bed with me. I've probably been feeding him 3-4 times a night, with cluster feeding at the front-end (for like 2 straight hours, from 10-midnight). Hubs has been sleeping on the couch so he can be a better dad to the other two, who are handling new siblinghood in their own special ways. Took J about 3 days to decide he would hold his brother. Took E about 5 seconds upon walking into my hospital room to ask if she could hold him. They are not the same kid after all.


He looks like a mash-up of both of them. Lips like sister, eyes like brother. Stork bite like sister, quiet calmness like brother. He is exactly the baby we need during this very stressful time in our lives!!

T, at 9 days of age

Kick-starting Labor

39 Weeks, 2 Days
Watermelon


Wow, I'm feeling large. And sore. To elucidate the situation (graphically), I feel as though my pelvis is being ripped apart at the pubic bone. This is rather new, as I do not recall such a sensation in past pregnancies. I expect it's some combination of baby "dropping" into my pelvis more, and old age. My firstborn was already 2 days old by this stage of the game, so I can definitely say that any time the boy wishes to arrive, I'm totally down with that. This brings me to the topic of today: How to start labor "spontaneously."


So, there are lots of wives tales and legends about how to best kick-start labor. Science has weighed in on some of these, and I must fully disclose that results tend to be right around the coin-flip with a large margin of error. In non-science speak, that means basically that you can try it or not, and it may pretty much all come out in the wash. Break even. Be no different at all, had you NOT done any of these tricks. Now, what science hasn't done is verify what might happen to a person who tries ALL of these things. Let's see what they are.

• Spicy Food. Chowing down on some jalapeños have achieved legendary status with regard to stimulating labor. Here's the thing... the stomach is not the uterus. People do it anyway, and maybe it's just good self-care to enjoy some awesome Mexican food (if that's your thing). There's not any solid proof that spicing up your diet will entice your child to GTFO.
• Nipple Stimulation. Go ahead... rub those babies. It stimulates the release of the naturally-occurring hormone oxytocin. Sounds a lot like "Pitocin" doesn't it? That's because Pitocin, the drug used in hospitals to induce labor, is an artificial version of oxytocin, only less fun for you. But be prepared for a commitment to nip-flicking. In one study, moms who stimulated their nipples for ONE TO THREE HOURS DAILY were more likely to spontaneously go into labor than those who didn't.
• Sex. Coitus. Intercourse. Doing the dirty releases hormones (prostaglandins) that may kick-start contractions. It's important that your partner ejaculates inside the vagina for the prostaglandin release and to help soften the cervix. In addition, if mama orgasms, it could also get the uterus to contract. Emphasis on "could." Important: Do not try this if your water has already broken, or you have been advised against sexual activity by your healthcare provider.
• Castor Oil. Remember old cartoons with Henny Penny? She tried to get all her friends to help her work in her corn field, and they all had bellyache and couldn't help... until it was time to eat the corn and they were all about it then. But Henny Penny gave them Castor Oil instead... y'know, to cure that ol' pesky bellyache. So, supposedly this also stimulates the onset of labor by releasing prostaglandin. In actuality, it stimulates your bowels to have some explosive diarrhea. Which could dehydrate you. And also, there's not any evidence to suggest that your bowels rumbling while being next to the uterus will spontaneously cause the uterus to contract.
• Evening Primrose Oil. I haven't heard of this one, but supposedly this herbal acts similarly in the body as other prostaglandin-agonists (i.e., things that make the hormone prostaglandin get active). Thus, it could potentially soften the cervix and get you ready for action. More science needed to back this one up.
• Red Raspberry Tea. The real, red raspberry leaves are used to make this tea. Not black tea flavored like raspberries. Supposedly, this tea reduces uterine "irritability" and helps contractions be more effective. It can also help to ripen the cervix for dilation and effacement, thus making labor onset occur faster.
• Foot Massage. Shiatsu massage therapists have identified several acupressure points (including on the feet) that have been known to start labor. But the jury's still out on this one. Some massage therapists absolutely will not use acupressure unless you're already in labor (to help speed it along).
• Membrane Sweeping. Also known as membrane stripping, stretch-and-sweep, or maternal masochism. It hurts. I'm not going to lie. Essentially, your healthcare provider may use this trick to help release the amniotic sac from your cervix by taking her gloved hand, shoving it up your cooch, and running a couple fingers around your cervix in a circular motion to begin to separate the mucus plug and open 'er up. Your provider won't try this before 38 weeks, to ensure the baby is well-developed enough for the outside world first. But, some women experience natural labor onset within hours-to-days after having this procedure done.
• Acupuncture. This has been done in several Asian cultures for many generations, and they swear by it. Only one small study has been conducted in the US, but with pretty positive results. Women who received acupuncture between 39.5-41 weeks gestation were more likely to go into labor without medical intervention and were less likely to have cesareans than their "un-stuck" counterparts. More science needed to back up the claims, but this looks legit so far.
• Exercise. Specifically, taking a walk is supposed to help with labor. The claims are pretty thin on this one. One thing it can do, however, is help you distinguish between progressive first-stage labor and Braxton-Hicks contractions. If you go for a walk and your contractions get stronger and closer together, it's the real deal. If they go away or become irregular and aren't painful, it's the BH kind.

Have you heard of any other "tricks" to try?

Minivan People

39 Weeks, 2 Days
Swiss Chard, or Watermelon
It had to happen. We have been sort of in denial that this baby is coming. Not in the, "I refuse to accept this is happening," sense of denial. More like the, "We still have time," type of denial. But here we are, less than 3 weeks away from the due date, which means we will very soon be in the "window" for delivery. Actually, at my last checkup, I was unceremoniously informed, "If labor were to start now, we wouldn't stop it."


So, what had to happen? This:

Sweet Ride

Yep. We're minivan people now.


Suffice it to say, if we ever were prideful about the type of car we drove, we swallowed it right quickly. We needed to be able to transport our entire family (including the yet unborn), and now we have the means to do so. Other than this, however, our level of preparedness is still shockingly low. We buy diapers here and there (when I have a coupon). We are cognizant of the fact that we need to wash some baby clothes, but haven't yet done so. I haven't packed a bag yet. For me or for the baby. We did, however, manage to arrange child care for the siblings. So, if I were to go into labor soon, we'd have no problem with kid coverage.


However, the Hubs has told me that we're not taking the new minivan to the hospital. Just in case we don't make it there in time. "No way are you ruining the leather in that brand new car," he said. Ha! Pride.

Ready or Not...

34 Weeks, 2 Days
Cantaloupe or Honeydew Melon


At somewhere between four and five pounds, and about 17-18 inches in length, my little dude is nearing full term. We're under six weeks out from the due date. His survivability outside the womb is steadily climbing every day, and we are now to the point where, if he were born today, he might spend a few days in a NICU but be otherwise healthy and have no differences in the long run from other kids who were born full term.


While this is such an amazing relief, and a great thing, I realize that I am not ready. We currently have no vehicle that can accommodate three children. We have no sleeping space set up for the baby. I have not packed a bag. We have no diapers or wipes. I have yet to locate my nursing bras and breast pads. I have no burp cloths. I haven't gotten out any baby clothes (or washed them). I haven't even done the tour of the Labor & Delivery unit at the hospital where I'll be delivering.


Part of the reason is the mentality that we've done this before, not our first rodeo, it's old hat, etc. Maybe we're just not worried about it. Part of the reason, however, is that I have simply been far too busy in the other areas of my life to sit down and prepare. I just asked my neighbor TODAY if she could cover down on my other two kids until my mother-in-law could get to us and watch them.


I'm still worried that he won't turn in time to deliver. I'm pretty sure his head is up here under my ribs. I'm pretty sure I've had at least three nightmares of C-sections gone wrong or my medical rights being violated. I'm worried that the hospital where I'll be delivering will do silly stuff like continuous fetal heart monitoring and making me lie still in bed, rather than labor how I want. This concern would likely cause me to stay at home for as long as possible, laboring where and how I want, before leaving... which potentially could lead me to delivering at someplace other than the hospital - like in the car on the side of the road.


This baby will come when he is ready, not when I am. He won't know or care if I am prepared. And that's fine. Because no matter what, we will suddenly be as ready as we'll ever be once he arrives.

Final Descent

33 Weeks, 3 Days
Honeydew Melon, or Pineapple
Ladies and gentlemen, we have begun our final descent into the universe. Please return your tray tables and seat backs to the upright and locked position.


I am, apparently, carrying "low" or the baby has "dropped" according to at least a half dozen friends and family members. Of course, as a short person, it only means that I can't feel my ribs expanding, like, EVERY SINGLE SECOND. The rib pain is just the worst to me. Of course, there's more pain coming from the ever-stretching (and probably not ever returning to normal) ligaments in my lower abdomen.


I've been a bit concerned that this baby hasn't turned himself around to be ready for landing. At my last appointment a couple of weeks ago, he was still head-up. I have had multiple nightmares about having to have a cesarean because he didn't turn around for delivery. I mean, surely there must be some way to convince an unborn to rotate, right? Well, according to Spinning Babies, yes... there are ways. So I will be trying some of the less intense ones, like putting an ice pack on top of my tummy and playing music by my pubic bone. I have my next appointment in a couple of weeks, so I'll see what the midwife says then.


I don't want to negate anyone's birth experience. But I am really wanting to avoid a c-section. In my dreams, the surgeons keep telling me there is no other option and that they will totally sedate me for the surgery. I get furious because not only am I not getting the birth I want, but I am totally taken out of the equation so that I cannot even see my baby enter the world. In fact, I am kind of the last person in the room to know he has arrived because I have to wake up from anesthesia. That means, no kangaroo care, no skin-to-skin, no immediate nursing, no chance to tell my baby that it's okay, I'm here. I cannot stress how much I really, REALLY do not want that to be how my son enters this world. I want him to know me, smell me, and know he is okay. Really, a sedated cesarean takes away literally ALL of the things I want in my birth plan. It makes me sad, and angry, and sad again.


I'm not ready for this baby, clearly, because I have not yet scheduled my tour of labor and delivery. I haven't delivered at this hospital before, and so it might be important to, y'know, find out more about it. Especially their policies, given my fear of surgical intervention. I need to know how long before they're like, "Okay, lady, we've let you labor for a while. Now it's our turn." I have to make the call.

10 To Go

30 Weeks, 2 Days
Pumpkin, or Large Cabbage
It's hard to believe that the due date will be here in less than 10 weeks. Ten weeks to go, more or less, means that between two and three months from now, our little dude will be here. As Hubs says, "Sh** just got real." Only, it's been "real" for a while now. I get kicked, prodded, and poked. I sense the hiccups (night and day), and I can imagine what he is doing in there.


I am looking forward to the cuddle time, but it seems that rest is out the window. I'm already struggling with sleep. I feel like it's much too soon to be messing with my sleep. Unfortunately, I am dealing with the issues of waking up for no reason, tossing and turning, and having generally poor quality of sleep already. Once little man is here, it will be much, much worse (at least at first).


Still, I am excited about the prospect of meeting him. My belly is huge, and I can't imagine how he will manage to keep growing in the limited space I have left. I bet he finds a way!

The Packing List

There are several things I wish I knew as a mother-to-be when packing for the trip to the hospital.  I wish I knew the stuff I really needed and the stuff I really didn't need, for example.  So here is a list of things I felt were necessary and unnecessary for the trip to have a baby.

The Stuff You Need

• Lip balm
• Refillable water bottle (i.e., Camelbak)
• Your own pillow from home
• A blackout mask (in case you can't turn off the lights in your hospital room)
• Snacks for your support person (and for you, after baby is born - late night or holiday babies inconveniently show up when the cafeteria is closed)
• Stuff to do (reading materials or a laptop with some movies) - for during labor and/or after baby when there are no visitors - if you are lucky, your hospital will have free wi-fi.
• MATERNITY CLOTHES (you will still appear about 4 months pregnant, more or less, when you discharge from the hospital so don't think about your skinny jeans yet)
• Baby clothes (a couple different sets and a couple different sizes, in case your child is larger or smaller than you anticipated)
• An empty bag to carry home all the free stuff you'll get from the hospital or birthing center (including diapers, books on newborn and infant care, wipes, mommy-care items like the jumbo maternity pads, sitz bath, medications, and maybe more)
• Camera with charger/batteries
• Car seat (most states require it be inspected for safety before you can go home with your baby)

The Stuff You Don't Need

• Nightgown from home (unless you just really want it - but it might get bloody and gross)
• Candles, scented oils, or other stuff you intend to use during labor - you might not even be thinking about it at all when you are actually in labor
• Toiletries (believe it or not, most hospitals and birthing centers have dental hygiene kits they'll give you and the showers have body wash and shampoo on wall-mounted dispensers) - but if you really like your own stuff, bring it
• Video camera (most birthing centers and hospitals do not permit video of birth because consent is required from all people present - including nursing staff - to have them on video, and nobody has time for that during a birth)
• Diapers, 15 receiving blankets, pacifiers, and other baby gear (the hospital supplies you with diapers and wipes, and you really only need one blanket for the trip home, but hats and blankets are available for baby during your stay at the hospital/birthing center)
• A lot of extra stuff (remember, it all must go home with you)

Even though this isn't my first rodeo, I brought way too much stuff I didn't need and way too little of what I did.

Water Born: J's Birth Story

WARNING: Graphic content.

My due date based on LMP was 1 February.  They adjusted it after ultrasound to 3 February.  When these days came and went, I was exceedingly discouraged.  After all, my firstborn showed up at week 39!  Aren't second and later children supposed to come sooner?  Well, our little son J didn't come sooner, but he came faster than his big sister E.

I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions for a few days, off and on.  With no real regularity and no increasing pain or intensity, I paid very little attention to them.  However, on Monday morning the 7th of February, something was different.  I was determined to encourage these contractions to grow.  We went for walks, ran errands, tried to stay busy.  By three in the afternoon I was starting to get agitated by disappointment.  Was this boy ever going to make an appearance?

I decided that the BH contractions might be getting more regular and, just for kicks, started timing them around 3:30 PM.  They were at first 12 minutes apart, lasting for maybe 45 seconds.  In the span of maybe 45 minutes, they had regulated to 5 minute intervals, lasting a minute each.  I called the L&D unit at about 4:30 to ask verification of when I should come in.  The nurse who answered said, "You still sound a little perky."  This is a classic sign that the nursing staff would be sending me right back home if I showed up right now.  She gave the criteria: 3-4 minutes apart lasting for at least a minute with very little break in between.  And painful (so I would not be "perky").  I told her I'd be there in an hour.  I'm pretty sure she laughed about me with the other nurses after hanging up.

We left for the hospital and arrived about 5:45 PM.  The nurse was surprised to see us.  Another nurse escorted us to a room for screening.  I had 2 contractions while trying to produce a urine sample.  I think I came up with maybe 15 mL.  Wonder what they could do with that?  Finally, finally, about 6:05 PM I had a cervix check, and I was told by the nurse, "You're a 4, and I can stretch it to 5.  100% effaced."  So we were admitted.

I endured yet another contraction while my dear husband searched for a room closer to the birthing tub (unfortunately the room right across the hall from it was occupied).  He found one right around the corner, not too far of a walk.  We then took the "stroll" to get in there.  Hubby got me a fitness ball to labor on because I was having a hard time being comfortable in any position and I knew I did not want to get on the bed.  Laboring on the birthing ball was nice because I could stretch out my legs and shorten the birth canal and rock back and forth.  Meanwhile, hubby massaged my hips and lower back during each contraction.

Around 8:30 PM, the on-duty OB came in for another check (they won't do it more frequently than every two hours).  She said she was a conservative in measuring and said 5 cm.  Could be 6.  Maybe.  I was like, "Really?  After 2 1/2 hours of all that, there was very little change!?"  This was in my head, of course, because I was unable to talk much.  I did ask for the ONE qualified midwife who does water birth to be notified.  She was not on duty but agreed to come in.  About that time, about 8:45, the water was ready.  And I was ready to be in it!  I was hoping for the relieving qualities I'd read about.

But, the untrained staff had overheated the water.  It was 110 degrees!  My legs were on fire, and I had to lean over the side while half-standing to wait for them to drain some hot water and put in some cold.  It had to get to 100 or lower.  95-97 degrees is preferred.  Contractions were coming like crazy by this point, and suddenly I said, "Oh, something's coming out!"  It was my bag of waters, slipping out of me.  My husband said it looked like my vagina blew a bubble.  And then it burst.  I said, "It's going to get bad in a hurry now!"  And it did.  They tried to do a cervix check on me then, and I couldn't move into a position favorable for them to do so.  I said, "It's getting really hard not to push."  I was trying every breathing technique I could think of.  Probably the hardest physical thing to do in the world is resist the urge to push.  They told me I had to get out of the tub.  The midwife would not make it before the baby would.  Someone (bless their soul) called her anyway and she told them she could be there in 10 minutes and to let me stay in the water.

Ten minutes.  Is.  Forever.

She arrived after what felt like an eternity of panting and puffing to avoid bearing down, and I was still holding out while she got her "goop gear" on.  She turned to me and said, "You can push if you feel the urge."  I said, "Oh, thank God."  And I did.  Between contractions, she checked and said, "Oh the head is right there."  Maybe two or three inches from the outside world.  I had gone from a "conservative 5 cm" to ready to rock in a half hour!

In perhaps 15 minutes (about 5 contractions with 2-3 pushes each), our son J entered the water at 9:50 PM.  The umbilical cord was around his neck one time so he was under water longer than typical to get the cord off his head.  He came up to the surface, and I grabbed him from the midwife and said, "My baby!"  I cuddled him up to me and he opened his eyes to look around.  He was beautiful and perfect.  He was finally here!

I had originally said my main reason for not getting drug intervention this time (aside from the side effects) was because with my firstborn, the pain meds had worn off and I felt everything anyway.  This is not entirely correct.  There were residual effects of the pain medicine then because this time I truly felt everything.  I admit... I am thankful for my very short time in labor.  However, I can also say with certainty that the ongoing uterine contractions during the first few days postpartum is worse than the labor and birth.  At least in labor you are progressing toward a goal - to have a baby.  While having a nice, firm uterus postpartum is important (reduced risk of hemhorrage, getting back to a non-pregnant state faster, reducing the hormone storm, etc.), it isn't quite the momentous achievement of birth.

Because my Week 38 Group B Strep test came back positive, I was supposed to have two doses of IV antibiotics administered over 4 hours to help little J enter the world without risk of infection.  Because we were at the hospital for less than 4 hours before he arrived, we obviously didn't make the cut.  So we had to stay longer in the hospital than we wanted.  But... how amazing a ride!  A boy who was determined to stay put for as long as he wanted in utero made a decision and acted on it without a degree of hesitation... when it was time to leave, he left expeditiously!

Exploring my inner hippie

You can't braid my armpit hair because there is none.  I don't make my own granola because I tend to eat sugary cereals and "field hand breakfast" (eggs, bacon, toast, grits, yum).  I don't recycle because there's not a recycling company that will pick up the recycling in my neighborhood, but there is a dump less than a mile away.  I use disposable diapers, disposable razors, paper towels, and I get plastic grocery bags at the store because (more often than not) I forget my re-usable grocery bags at home or in the back of the car.

However, I'm considering something even "hippier" than ever before: homebirth.  Okay, okay, it's only considered off the grid because so many women have been trained over the course of their lifetimes to view hospital births (or even birthing center births) as the only acceptable, clean, healthy way to have a baby.  Arguments on the pro side of hospitals and birthing centers are:

• You are close to (or co-located with) immediate emergency medical services, should the need arise
• You have access to medications and services that cannot be provided to you at home
• You don't have to get halfway through trying to push, only to realize that you need medical help to get that baby out (and then have to get in the car to go to the hospital)
• Hospitals are cleaner than your house (okay, well definitely cleaner than my house!)

But then there are the cons:

• "Sterile" environment still may cause exposure to germs from other sick people in the hospital
• Environment is not comfortable (even if they try to make the rooms more "homey" by adding soft colors and wood paneling)
• You don't get the rest you need because there is too much activity in the room/hallway
• Sometimes medical interventions happen because the on-call OB is too busy to wait for you to have your baby in the time it takes to have your baby (not because there is a medical need for it)

So I started exploring waterbirth last week, just because it seemed like a good idea and the hospital on base here has a birthing tub.  You are created in a womb full of water (or watery stuff) and there you grow until you emerge into the world, where it is shockingly cold and bright, and people take you away from the only person you've ever known (Mama!) to go get on a cold scale, get goop put in your eyes, get a shot of vitamin K, and have like a million people you don't know all fussing about in your immediate area (cleaning up, checking vital signs, taking pictures, etc.).  No WONDER babies cry when they are born!

On the flip side, you can be born into water that is the same temperature as Mom's body, pulled up into her arms and cuddled right away, where you can nurse and be happy and cozy for a few minutes at least before they have to do all that measuring and vital sign checking and junk.  Slightly less traumatic, right?

But we live in Alaska now.  And our baby is due to be born in early February.  It will still be cold (and that is an understatement), and my major concern is how quickly our firstborn arrived.  Second children come faster.  What if we don't make it to the hospital?

So that is when the idea of homebirth popped into my head.  And I can do a home waterbirth because tubs can be rented for about $350, I can have whoever I want in the room, I can be in my own familiar surroundings with my own familiar germs (and nobody else's!), and go crawl into MY bed (which is a sleep-number bed, by the way) after birthing my child.  No flustering of random nurses or attending physicians to come check out the damage done by putting in a fetal monitor that came out halfway through the birth, cutting me on the way out.  No blasts of cold air from the door being fanned at every opportunity with the in-and-out of all the random people.  No lights, sounds, machines, etc.  Just our home sounds, which our unborn child will be familiar with already after having lived there (muffled by the amniotic fluid) for the past several months.

It is a lot to think about, but after doing some checking up with my provider, I think homebirth is covered under our insurance.  How neat.

Au naturale ala aqua?

Two things have been floating around in my head lately.

1. Should I have a totally natural (i.e., medication-free) birth?
2. Should I consider a water birth?

The hospital here on base has LDRP rooms, which means "Labor, Delivery, Recovery, and Postpartum."  This basically means that the room I go into from the beginning is mine until I leave the hospital.  Many hospitals have LDR but you have to go to a different room after the baby is born and cleaned up and given vitamin K and eye goop, and all that.  Another thing the hospital here has is a birthing tub.  You can labor in the tub and then get out to deliver (the last hospital I was in for my firstborn was this way).  But the difference here is, if you want to HAVE the baby in the tub, you can do that.

The major thing about doing a water birth is (once you get past the idea that you could potentially be sitting in your own "juices" for a while), you absolutely CANNOT do this with pain medication.  Although, from some of the research I've done, the water causes such relaxation in the mother that meds are not often required anyway.

The American Pregnancy Association had this to say about water birth: "Water seems to alleviate stress-related hormones, allowing the mother’s body to produce endorphins, which are pain-inhibitors."

Other websites I've found are:
http://www.waterbirth.org/
http://www.gentlebirth.org/
http://www.waterbirthinfo.com/benefits.html
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lakshmi_bertram.html

The other thing I've been thinking about is drug-free.  I had an epidural with my first, and it went quite well.  From the very first contraction I felt until baby-in-arms was a mere 21 hours, and from epidural to birth was only five hours.  Nothing slowed down, I still dilated as expected, and I only had to push for 15 minutes (which is SUPER fast for even veteran moms).  However, I am considering it just because I'd like to be able to be informed and say I've done it both ways, and this or that was the way I liked better.

It will be a tough decision, but a friend (who just had a med-free birth) recommended I watch "The Business of Being Born," a documentary by none other than Ricki Lake, which is available on Netflix instant view.  To join their online community of support, their website is available here.

Anyway, I have a lot to consider.  Luckily, I still have a few months to consider it!

Today is the Due Date - Labor was like...

Today is the day our lovely daughter (referred to in this blog as E) was supposed to arrive. Okay, well really it's the estimated delivery date (EDD) based off the last period I had. I'm really glad she arrived a week ago. It was snowing today, nasty and gross out. School was cancelled, the roads were muck. I couldn't imagine trying to head to the hospital in this condition!

My hometown paper also published a story about E's arrival after recognition of my alma mater spread through the blog sites back home. They even included a link back to the west-coast newspaper's spread at the bottom of the online version of the article. I got a letter from the alumni association and a magnet that read "Future Pirate" on it as well!

Pictures will follow, but here are a few notes about labor and delivery:
* My contractions did not start until 3am on the 31st of December, and I barely noticed them as anything special until they started to actually feel uncomfortable, by about noon.
* Walking made them worse, which was a sure sign that they were REAL and not "practice contractions" (Braxton Hicks).
* I felt a trickle around 2:30pm, and was unsure if I'd peed myself so I went to the bathroom about 3 times in a row until I couldn't pee anymore. I still felt the trickle, so I knew I'd sprung a leak.
* I called the L&D ward around 3:30 to let them know, and they said for me to come in for a checkup. Expecting I'd just be sent back home, I didn't make snacks for Dev or pack the books we were going to read while waiting for labor to really get going.
* By the time we arrived at around 4:15, my contractions were 1 1/2 to 2 minutes apart and I was 4cm dilated. They admitted me at about 5:30.
* Things progressed quickly. The nurse anesthetist was called in to do my epidural at about 7:00. It took her six attempts because apparently, if you do a lot of situps, it makes the epidural space (between the vertebrae) very tight. My poor husband was holding me in position for the big needle, but after the third or fourth attempt, he started feeling funny and needed to sit down, so a nurse took over.
* The midwife broke the secondary bag of waters (yes, there are two layers) after the epidural kicked in because that makes contractions get serious in a hurry. I felt warm water gushes periodically with each contraction after the initial "sploosh." It was hard not to be grossed out.
* I had to get a "booster" in the epidural IV around 9:30 or 10:00 because the contractions had begun to feel like they did before I got the epidural in. Unfortunately I don't remember the name of the drug but I'm sure it was some variant of morphine. I could still feel the contractions but they felt like pressure rather than pain.
* At around 11:45, they told me to start pushing. It really does feel like you need to poop, as I was told. You have to hold your breath and push in 10-second intervals, usually three pushes grouped together.
* At 12:33am on January 1, 2008, E entered the world as the first baby of the New Year in our county.

I cannot express to you the feelings I had. Neither can my husband. He did not cut the cord. However, since the baby's sex was a surprise, we got the opportunity to announce it to the birthing room once she came out. It was just amazing. And it all went super fast compared to most rookie mommies. That's why the nurses called me a "Rock Star" during the labor and delivery. That plus the extended epidural effort, I suppose. But if you want something bad enough, you'll endure most anything to get it.

More to follow as time permits. She is awake and alert and ready to have dinner now, so I gotta run.

I Feel Like a Car

... except one that can feel pain.

I had my 38-week checkup today. They ask if there's any strange "knocking" (contractions), leaks, drips, etc. before checking under the hood themselves. Then, the "sweep" or "stripping" of membranes occurs. Wow, so I didn't know it would feel like I was being forcibly violated. I had to take a breather in between sweeps. The reason it was so painful is because my cervix is still pretty thick, so the midwife had to kind of jab to get in there. She promises it won't be as bad next time because the cervix will be thinner.

Before any poking and prodding, however, she told me I was 30% effaced and 1 1/2 cm dilated. It means practically nothing. But at least things are progressing. It's hard not to be discouraged at this point when you've heard about 3 different women (1 due the day before you, and 2 with due-dates after yours) already have babies. I'm trying to stay positive.

My dear husband is very encouraging and keeps me from turning into a crazy person. He's also reading "The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin (we're using the 2nd edition but there is a 3rd edition out). It's sort of alleviating any mental trauma I've had about labor and delivery. Plus, it says quite clearly what my dear husband should be doing during all of it. It's pretty helpful, and I recommend it.