The First Six Weeks

Six weeks ago today, I was in labor. It was snowing, and I refused to believe I would actually have to be out in that nastiness on my way to deliver. And yet... here we are.


Things I have learned over the past six weeks include...


During Delivery

• People will come in and out of your room without announcing their presence
• People will be all up in your va-jay-jay without introducing themselves
• People will continue to ask you questions even though you do not have the presence of mind to attend to them AND to the labor contractions... and you're more likely to attend to the latter

After Birth

• Despite being SO incredibly tired, you might just not be able to sleep for the excitement of meeting this little person you've been waiting to cuddle
• You might not get many visitors... and that's okay
• ...and if it's not okay, if you had your baby at the hospital, there are plenty of staff to be in and out of your room all day and night

Coming Home

• By the third child, it feels like that baby was always there; you just have to reconsider sleeping arrangements
• Your newbie's siblings may fall instantly in love... or they might willfully ignore the fact that the n00b is here
• Your eldest might tell the (now) middle child that she loves the baby more than him
• The (now) middle child might tell you that he wishes the baby would die
• You might cry because of these things

The First Two Weeks

• ...well, they absolutely still suck. Even though baby #3 feels totally like he's always been there, the adjustment to poor sleep and frequent feedings takes a lot out of you
• ...and a lot out of your partner, who is picking up the slack around the house for everything else you can't do now that nearly 100% of your time involves having an infant hanging off your breast or being up to your elbows in mustardy-poop
• You are likely to have less patience with each other, and with your other kids
• You might decide it's best to have daddy sleep elsewhere in the house so he can get a good night's sleep and not be the devil-parent (someone has to be nice, at least)
• You might really miss each other
• Your breasts hurt like a sonofabitch - you realize you forgot that the "natural" breastfeeding isn't exactly, like, naturally easy to do
• You might have experienced engorgement, a lump, and the desperation of trying to keep baby awake long enough during a feeding to squeeze out that painful milk backlog
• Your partner may offer an ice cube to wake up baby, and it becomes a running joke ("Want an ice cube?")

The Second Two Weeks (weeks 3 and 4)

• Ah, adjustment! You are finding your groove
• You discover this growing person also has a little personality
• You understand his language, know his sleepy cry from his hungry cry, and his likes and dislikes
• He likes, for example, to be near you - and has started to coo when you talk to him
• He can see a teeny bit farther and knows which blurry blobs are his parents and siblings
• You may feel adventurous enough to go on outings
• Your breasts are starting to feel semi-normal again... except that they are at least twice the size they used to be and you can't wear many of your "regular" shirts
• Your maternity pants are too big, and your regular pants are too small.... ah, sweatpants will do (preferably with drawstring)

The Third Two Weeks (weeks 5 and 6)

• My word, he smiled at you! The real kind, not the gassy kind
• And thank goodness he smiles and is so cute, or otherwise you'd probably hate him because he's decided to eat and sleep on some crazy new schedule you haven't figured out yet
• And you realize that his love of cuddling with you extends now to only sleeping when you are holding him, and that he wakes when you put him down
• You'd really like to go pee without bringing the baby along
• Or eat lunch without worrying about dropping food on him while he dozes in your lap
• Oh, and you have to go back to work next Monday, which reminds you that you need to pump
• And your partner isn't back in your bed yet because nobody trusts that this baby is going to sleep in his own space without disturbing the whole house
• But at least the (now) middle child has warmed up enough that he kisses baby goodnight
• And you might have figured out that he needs to sleep on your dirty clothes in the crib to have your smell on him
• And despite all of this, you're still sad that the convalescent-getting-to-know-you time is almost over already

So we're on the eve of his 6 weeks birthday. And I am both extremely happy and terribly sad, as patient as a saint and as frustrated as humanly tolerable, alert and exhausted. This is motherhood.

Sleep, You Slippery Eel

35 Weeks
Honeydew Melon
Little dude is now about 5.5 lbs. and 18 inches long (crown to heel). My concern about him still being head-up has been mitigated by lots of support from friends and my midwife. I've been doing some exercises, and there is the possibility of an external version at 37 weeks (so, basically, right after my next appointment). I'll also have to have a Group B Strep (GBS) screen at the next appointment so they can determine if I'll need antibiotics during labor and birth.


Sleep is elusive at this point. Not because I'm not tired... I am SO tired. It's not as bad as the first trimester, when everything was ridiculously exhausting. However, by the end of the day, I'm beat. Hubby says he will just pretend I have the flu so he won't be surprised at how frequently he finds me taking rest breaks on the couch.


The infuriating thing is that most websites talk about how getting good sleep now is very important because of the certain deprivation I'll have in a few short weeks. They, of course, say nothing about why a woman at this stage of pregnancy might wake up from a dead sleep at 3 AM for no reason. No, the baby is not wiggling around. No, I'm not about to pee myself. No, I wasn't uncomfortable. Just.... awake. I believe it to be training for what will surely come later. But it still makes me mad because I already know what will come later. I just want to sleep now, while I still can.


Five weeks to go (more or less).

10 To Go

30 Weeks, 2 Days
Pumpkin, or Large Cabbage
It's hard to believe that the due date will be here in less than 10 weeks. Ten weeks to go, more or less, means that between two and three months from now, our little dude will be here. As Hubs says, "Sh** just got real." Only, it's been "real" for a while now. I get kicked, prodded, and poked. I sense the hiccups (night and day), and I can imagine what he is doing in there.


I am looking forward to the cuddle time, but it seems that rest is out the window. I'm already struggling with sleep. I feel like it's much too soon to be messing with my sleep. Unfortunately, I am dealing with the issues of waking up for no reason, tossing and turning, and having generally poor quality of sleep already. Once little man is here, it will be much, much worse (at least at first).


Still, I am excited about the prospect of meeting him. My belly is huge, and I can't imagine how he will manage to keep growing in the limited space I have left. I bet he finds a way!

No Rest for the Weary

25 Weeks, 1 day
Cauliflower, Rutabaga, or Bag of Flour (depending on the website)


I have had to travel a bit for work lately, and it won't slow down anytime soon. In the interim, I have had the worst sleep one might imagine. People say that later in pregnancy, baby is helping mom gear up for the frequent sleep-wake cycle of newborns. But that junk doesn't usually start until later in the third trimester. I am still (for a couple weeks) in the second trimester, and I'm supposed to be enjoying this time.


Don't get me wrong, I truly do enjoy the fun wiggles and jiggles of my squirmy-worm baby. I just prefer that they not be at 3am. And, being pregnant with a third kid while managing the lives of two other kids is not exactly a cake-walk in the first place. Thus, I am about as exhausted as I have ever been, despite this time supposedly being the "easiest" or the most relaxing part of pregnancy.

Physical Exhaustion and the Easily-Spooked Appetite

15 Weeks, 1 Day
Pear

I'm feeling a little better in terms of rest. Got my first prenatal massage yesterday and opted for another in two weeks. It's a little weird to lie on your side the entire time and cuddle with a body pillow, but apparently that's what the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends (or so it stated on the consent form). I could stand a few more hours of sleep each night, and the muscle tension isn't too bad. Had a small bout of sciatica, but it seems to be very mild.

My appetite seems to be creeping back toward normal. I go through more predictable cycles of hunger these days. I haven't had too much trouble incorporating things back into my diet that I was just not "feeling" before. However, the amount of food I can consume at any given time is still fairly small. We ate cheeseburgers for dinner (homemade, mostly). They were tiny, so I thought I could also eat some raw veggies and a handful (maybe 8) tater tots. I was wrong. I managed to get the burger and tots down, but only a few veggies. Probably should have eaten them first. Oh, well!

But even though I just said I wasn't as sleepy as I used to be, it is now just before 10pm, and I'm struggling to type. Just going to listen to my baby body now. Time to sleep! Maybe my other babies won't decide it's a good idea to get up and demand pancakes at 6:30am (like one of them did today)!