The Yacht Club

Evidently, my children are boaters. One small problem.... we do not, nor can we afford to, own a boat. The pictured boat belongs to my brother-in-law and his father. While a modest income can certainly afford a boat (we grew up with one), the additional costs of maintaining, storing, and using one can be far outside the limits. In my mind, I would imagine the only people who have boats and use them more than once or twice a year are either (a) fishermen or (b) people who use the names of seasons as verbs (e.g., "We shall summer in New England this year").

Siblings on Uncle's boat 

Meanwhile, the babies are no babies. My, how they've grown! My girl is now a five-year-old who has completed a year of pre-K at a lovely school in our area. She moves on to kindergarten this fall. Her aunt (wife of the boat-owner, and my sister) is pregnant. So, now my darling daughter pretends to be pregnant as well. She has no idea how much the prospect of her becoming pregnant (like EVER) terrifies me. Of course, someday this fear will vanish, I'm sure. There will come a time when grandchildren will seem like fun (rather than the death knell of my youth).

Five years old - the Skipper

We experienced our first (ever) fracture. During soccer, she had an avulsion fracture of her right fibula after tripping over a soccer ball. Never mind that it occurred because I might have allowed her to wear inappropriate shoes. She's taking it well, and is allowed to walk around with an air-cast. However, I should clarify that this child does not walk. She hops. She skips. She jumps, dips, dives, and does pretty much everything her doctor said not to do. And why not? She's five.

Two years old - the First Mate

My boy is two, and not the terrible kind. I'm convinced two is "terrific" and three is the "terrible" one. We'll see, come this time next year. Potty-training will be on the agenda for this year (hopefully this summer). He already senses the bodily urge and knows how to use the toilet, but his interest waxes and wanes (or, more appropriate to the theme, ebbs and flows like the tides).

He speaks rather well, but we've learned that his adenoids are enlarged and may be impacting his speech and breathing. While he gets sufficient oxygen, his sleep is likely impacted from snoring, and his speech is affected by the poor airflow during specific lip and mouth movements. We have a follow-up otolaryngology (ENT) consultation to determine if he will need surgery. While I try to wrap my mind around surgery on my baby boy, I have heard from other moms whose children managed to survive adenoidectomies.

Finally, we consider for a moment the possibility of expanding our family. What might that do to our great dynamic? How will the first two react to a third? They each have selected a same-sex sibling, as well as a name - the daughter wishes for a sister named Daisy Sunrose, and the son wishes for a brother with the same name as he has (because it is SO EPIC). And then, there are the financial considerations of how to manage upgrading a car (a must, to fit in a third child seat), where we'd all sleep, and how to pay for child care (which already costs more than our mortgage). So much for the yacht club.

Water Born: J's Birth Story

WARNING: Graphic content.

My due date based on LMP was 1 February.  They adjusted it after ultrasound to 3 February.  When these days came and went, I was exceedingly discouraged.  After all, my firstborn showed up at week 39!  Aren't second and later children supposed to come sooner?  Well, our little son J didn't come sooner, but he came faster than his big sister E.

I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions for a few days, off and on.  With no real regularity and no increasing pain or intensity, I paid very little attention to them.  However, on Monday morning the 7th of February, something was different.  I was determined to encourage these contractions to grow.  We went for walks, ran errands, tried to stay busy.  By three in the afternoon I was starting to get agitated by disappointment.  Was this boy ever going to make an appearance?

I decided that the BH contractions might be getting more regular and, just for kicks, started timing them around 3:30 PM.  They were at first 12 minutes apart, lasting for maybe 45 seconds.  In the span of maybe 45 minutes, they had regulated to 5 minute intervals, lasting a minute each.  I called the L&D unit at about 4:30 to ask verification of when I should come in.  The nurse who answered said, "You still sound a little perky."  This is a classic sign that the nursing staff would be sending me right back home if I showed up right now.  She gave the criteria: 3-4 minutes apart lasting for at least a minute with very little break in between.  And painful (so I would not be "perky").  I told her I'd be there in an hour.  I'm pretty sure she laughed about me with the other nurses after hanging up.

We left for the hospital and arrived about 5:45 PM.  The nurse was surprised to see us.  Another nurse escorted us to a room for screening.  I had 2 contractions while trying to produce a urine sample.  I think I came up with maybe 15 mL.  Wonder what they could do with that?  Finally, finally, about 6:05 PM I had a cervix check, and I was told by the nurse, "You're a 4, and I can stretch it to 5.  100% effaced."  So we were admitted.

I endured yet another contraction while my dear husband searched for a room closer to the birthing tub (unfortunately the room right across the hall from it was occupied).  He found one right around the corner, not too far of a walk.  We then took the "stroll" to get in there.  Hubby got me a fitness ball to labor on because I was having a hard time being comfortable in any position and I knew I did not want to get on the bed.  Laboring on the birthing ball was nice because I could stretch out my legs and shorten the birth canal and rock back and forth.  Meanwhile, hubby massaged my hips and lower back during each contraction.

Around 8:30 PM, the on-duty OB came in for another check (they won't do it more frequently than every two hours).  She said she was a conservative in measuring and said 5 cm.  Could be 6.  Maybe.  I was like, "Really?  After 2 1/2 hours of all that, there was very little change!?"  This was in my head, of course, because I was unable to talk much.  I did ask for the ONE qualified midwife who does water birth to be notified.  She was not on duty but agreed to come in.  About that time, about 8:45, the water was ready.  And I was ready to be in it!  I was hoping for the relieving qualities I'd read about.

But, the untrained staff had overheated the water.  It was 110 degrees!  My legs were on fire, and I had to lean over the side while half-standing to wait for them to drain some hot water and put in some cold.  It had to get to 100 or lower.  95-97 degrees is preferred.  Contractions were coming like crazy by this point, and suddenly I said, "Oh, something's coming out!"  It was my bag of waters, slipping out of me.  My husband said it looked like my vagina blew a bubble.  And then it burst.  I said, "It's going to get bad in a hurry now!"  And it did.  They tried to do a cervix check on me then, and I couldn't move into a position favorable for them to do so.  I said, "It's getting really hard not to push."  I was trying every breathing technique I could think of.  Probably the hardest physical thing to do in the world is resist the urge to push.  They told me I had to get out of the tub.  The midwife would not make it before the baby would.  Someone (bless their soul) called her anyway and she told them she could be there in 10 minutes and to let me stay in the water.

Ten minutes.  Is.  Forever.

She arrived after what felt like an eternity of panting and puffing to avoid bearing down, and I was still holding out while she got her "goop gear" on.  She turned to me and said, "You can push if you feel the urge."  I said, "Oh, thank God."  And I did.  Between contractions, she checked and said, "Oh the head is right there."  Maybe two or three inches from the outside world.  I had gone from a "conservative 5 cm" to ready to rock in a half hour!

In perhaps 15 minutes (about 5 contractions with 2-3 pushes each), our son J entered the water at 9:50 PM.  The umbilical cord was around his neck one time so he was under water longer than typical to get the cord off his head.  He came up to the surface, and I grabbed him from the midwife and said, "My baby!"  I cuddled him up to me and he opened his eyes to look around.  He was beautiful and perfect.  He was finally here!

I had originally said my main reason for not getting drug intervention this time (aside from the side effects) was because with my firstborn, the pain meds had worn off and I felt everything anyway.  This is not entirely correct.  There were residual effects of the pain medicine then because this time I truly felt everything.  I admit... I am thankful for my very short time in labor.  However, I can also say with certainty that the ongoing uterine contractions during the first few days postpartum is worse than the labor and birth.  At least in labor you are progressing toward a goal - to have a baby.  While having a nice, firm uterus postpartum is important (reduced risk of hemhorrage, getting back to a non-pregnant state faster, reducing the hormone storm, etc.), it isn't quite the momentous achievement of birth.

Because my Week 38 Group B Strep test came back positive, I was supposed to have two doses of IV antibiotics administered over 4 hours to help little J enter the world without risk of infection.  Because we were at the hospital for less than 4 hours before he arrived, we obviously didn't make the cut.  So we had to stay longer in the hospital than we wanted.  But... how amazing a ride!  A boy who was determined to stay put for as long as he wanted in utero made a decision and acted on it without a degree of hesitation... when it was time to leave, he left expeditiously!

Exploring my inner hippie

You can't braid my armpit hair because there is none.  I don't make my own granola because I tend to eat sugary cereals and "field hand breakfast" (eggs, bacon, toast, grits, yum).  I don't recycle because there's not a recycling company that will pick up the recycling in my neighborhood, but there is a dump less than a mile away.  I use disposable diapers, disposable razors, paper towels, and I get plastic grocery bags at the store because (more often than not) I forget my re-usable grocery bags at home or in the back of the car.

However, I'm considering something even "hippier" than ever before: homebirth.  Okay, okay, it's only considered off the grid because so many women have been trained over the course of their lifetimes to view hospital births (or even birthing center births) as the only acceptable, clean, healthy way to have a baby.  Arguments on the pro side of hospitals and birthing centers are:

• You are close to (or co-located with) immediate emergency medical services, should the need arise
• You have access to medications and services that cannot be provided to you at home
• You don't have to get halfway through trying to push, only to realize that you need medical help to get that baby out (and then have to get in the car to go to the hospital)
• Hospitals are cleaner than your house (okay, well definitely cleaner than my house!)

But then there are the cons:

• "Sterile" environment still may cause exposure to germs from other sick people in the hospital
• Environment is not comfortable (even if they try to make the rooms more "homey" by adding soft colors and wood paneling)
• You don't get the rest you need because there is too much activity in the room/hallway
• Sometimes medical interventions happen because the on-call OB is too busy to wait for you to have your baby in the time it takes to have your baby (not because there is a medical need for it)

So I started exploring waterbirth last week, just because it seemed like a good idea and the hospital on base here has a birthing tub.  You are created in a womb full of water (or watery stuff) and there you grow until you emerge into the world, where it is shockingly cold and bright, and people take you away from the only person you've ever known (Mama!) to go get on a cold scale, get goop put in your eyes, get a shot of vitamin K, and have like a million people you don't know all fussing about in your immediate area (cleaning up, checking vital signs, taking pictures, etc.).  No WONDER babies cry when they are born!

On the flip side, you can be born into water that is the same temperature as Mom's body, pulled up into her arms and cuddled right away, where you can nurse and be happy and cozy for a few minutes at least before they have to do all that measuring and vital sign checking and junk.  Slightly less traumatic, right?

But we live in Alaska now.  And our baby is due to be born in early February.  It will still be cold (and that is an understatement), and my major concern is how quickly our firstborn arrived.  Second children come faster.  What if we don't make it to the hospital?

So that is when the idea of homebirth popped into my head.  And I can do a home waterbirth because tubs can be rented for about $350, I can have whoever I want in the room, I can be in my own familiar surroundings with my own familiar germs (and nobody else's!), and go crawl into MY bed (which is a sleep-number bed, by the way) after birthing my child.  No flustering of random nurses or attending physicians to come check out the damage done by putting in a fetal monitor that came out halfway through the birth, cutting me on the way out.  No blasts of cold air from the door being fanned at every opportunity with the in-and-out of all the random people.  No lights, sounds, machines, etc.  Just our home sounds, which our unborn child will be familiar with already after having lived there (muffled by the amniotic fluid) for the past several months.

It is a lot to think about, but after doing some checking up with my provider, I think homebirth is covered under our insurance.  How neat.

Au naturale ala aqua?

Two things have been floating around in my head lately.

1. Should I have a totally natural (i.e., medication-free) birth?
2. Should I consider a water birth?

The hospital here on base has LDRP rooms, which means "Labor, Delivery, Recovery, and Postpartum."  This basically means that the room I go into from the beginning is mine until I leave the hospital.  Many hospitals have LDR but you have to go to a different room after the baby is born and cleaned up and given vitamin K and eye goop, and all that.  Another thing the hospital here has is a birthing tub.  You can labor in the tub and then get out to deliver (the last hospital I was in for my firstborn was this way).  But the difference here is, if you want to HAVE the baby in the tub, you can do that.

The major thing about doing a water birth is (once you get past the idea that you could potentially be sitting in your own "juices" for a while), you absolutely CANNOT do this with pain medication.  Although, from some of the research I've done, the water causes such relaxation in the mother that meds are not often required anyway.

The American Pregnancy Association had this to say about water birth: "Water seems to alleviate stress-related hormones, allowing the mother’s body to produce endorphins, which are pain-inhibitors."

Other websites I've found are:
http://www.waterbirth.org/
http://www.gentlebirth.org/
http://www.waterbirthinfo.com/benefits.html
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lakshmi_bertram.html

The other thing I've been thinking about is drug-free.  I had an epidural with my first, and it went quite well.  From the very first contraction I felt until baby-in-arms was a mere 21 hours, and from epidural to birth was only five hours.  Nothing slowed down, I still dilated as expected, and I only had to push for 15 minutes (which is SUPER fast for even veteran moms).  However, I am considering it just because I'd like to be able to be informed and say I've done it both ways, and this or that was the way I liked better.

It will be a tough decision, but a friend (who just had a med-free birth) recommended I watch "The Business of Being Born," a documentary by none other than Ricki Lake, which is available on Netflix instant view.  To join their online community of support, their website is available here.

Anyway, I have a lot to consider.  Luckily, I still have a few months to consider it!