Ready or Not...

34 Weeks, 2 Days
Cantaloupe or Honeydew Melon


At somewhere between four and five pounds, and about 17-18 inches in length, my little dude is nearing full term. We're under six weeks out from the due date. His survivability outside the womb is steadily climbing every day, and we are now to the point where, if he were born today, he might spend a few days in a NICU but be otherwise healthy and have no differences in the long run from other kids who were born full term.


While this is such an amazing relief, and a great thing, I realize that I am not ready. We currently have no vehicle that can accommodate three children. We have no sleeping space set up for the baby. I have not packed a bag. We have no diapers or wipes. I have yet to locate my nursing bras and breast pads. I have no burp cloths. I haven't gotten out any baby clothes (or washed them). I haven't even done the tour of the Labor & Delivery unit at the hospital where I'll be delivering.


Part of the reason is the mentality that we've done this before, not our first rodeo, it's old hat, etc. Maybe we're just not worried about it. Part of the reason, however, is that I have simply been far too busy in the other areas of my life to sit down and prepare. I just asked my neighbor TODAY if she could cover down on my other two kids until my mother-in-law could get to us and watch them.


I'm still worried that he won't turn in time to deliver. I'm pretty sure his head is up here under my ribs. I'm pretty sure I've had at least three nightmares of C-sections gone wrong or my medical rights being violated. I'm worried that the hospital where I'll be delivering will do silly stuff like continuous fetal heart monitoring and making me lie still in bed, rather than labor how I want. This concern would likely cause me to stay at home for as long as possible, laboring where and how I want, before leaving... which potentially could lead me to delivering at someplace other than the hospital - like in the car on the side of the road.


This baby will come when he is ready, not when I am. He won't know or care if I am prepared. And that's fine. Because no matter what, we will suddenly be as ready as we'll ever be once he arrives.