A time for milestones

My six-month, 24-day old son has now learned to clap his hands. He's about 2 months ahead of where his sister was on this development. He has also (for about 2 weeks now) been rolling over from back to front. Unfortunately, he hasn't quite learned to roll the other way consistently, so he frequently rolls over in the middle of the night and gets frustrated because he cannot roll back. Persistent grunting turns into crying, and that means I get to leave my warm comfy bed (sometimes SEVERAL TIMES) during the night. Part of that could also be teething-related; something he's also doing a couple months in advance of his sister, who got her first tooth at 8 months.

We've also begun trying solids. Apart from the oatmeal and rice cereal the pediatrician recommended for iron supplementation, he's now tasted squash (and LOVED it), carrots (which stain worse than blood - I recommend getting Shout! or another stain remover), peas, and green beans (which he equally detests). He has also had applesauce (and I'm not sure if he really likes it because he makes the same "yuck" face he makes with green veggies). Still, he's a super kid and continues to eat it despite the "yuck" face. Unfortunately, with solids comes the end of those cute breast-fed baby poops. They aren't horrifying yet, but they will be getting worse and worse as the consistency of the foods he tries increases.

My three-year, 8-month-old daughter can write nearly all the letters of the alphabet on her Magna-doodle. She talks herself through the process, which is not only adorable, but also lets us know what type of learner she is. Saying things aloud while doing them means she is an auditory learner. Just like her daddy! "So the P is a line down, and a loop on the side!"

Naps continue to be a struggle with her, but she managed to take one 3 days in a row at our daycare provider's home. The provider did a mock-phone call to us as a fear inducer. She really wants to please us, so she went right to sleep. I think this only had to be done once, with reminders the next two days ("Remember, I will call Mommy and Daddy to tell them you aren't sleeping..."). Of course, she knows that if she DOES sleep, she gets to watch one of her favorite cartoons when she gets home, before dinner. As parents, we actually HATE it when we can't reward her for making good choices. The cartoon thing is also a way to keep her occupied while we make dinner in the evening. Of course, our little girl does love to help. And helping is perfectly okay for a 3 1/2-year-old to handle.

She can set the table (one dish at a time), place out the silverware, take empty cups over, etc. After dinner, she helps with clean-up. Now that she is no longer terrified of our Dust-Buster, we let her use it to get the crumbs off our hardwood floor under the table each night. Usually it's her mess anyway. She also helps clear the dishes (she's still too short to place items in the sink, and letting her throw them in has already ended in 2 broken dishes) - she brings them to one of us, who is already sink-side.

Starting them early on routine house maintenance and the concepts of cleaning up what we mess up will help keep us from having an infuriating teen-ager who does nothing. At least, that's the hope!

Rice is nice.

Today, little J (who is a few days shy of his 5-month-birthday) had a few bites of rice cereal mixed with breast milk.  His face was just precious.  He very happily opened his mouth when the spoon came near it, but the first bite was quite obviously not what he expected.  There was some blowback.  The next few bites went a little better, and he became a little chow-hound.  It got to the point where I apparently was not fast enough with the spooning, so he tried to help expedite by grabbing the spoon.  This served only to dump its contents into my lap.  He quickly got angry.  We opted to "boob him up" for the rest of this feeding.

He has been physiologically ready for solids for about a month now, but since he was gaining weight at a very decent pace (95th percentile) I felt it unnecessary to introduce rice cereal.  In addition, J may (or may not) be our last baby, so there is a very unique desire to keep him a baby for longer.  Since he sat unsupported at 20 weeks (we have to put him there, but he can stay up pretty well), it was time.  Unfortunately, he cannot quite sit in a high chair or anything so solids will definitely wait until at least the recommended six months.

Am I going bald?

So you've had a baby about three months ago.  Your body has recovered pretty much to the point it was before you got pregnant (although your abdomen may appear otherwise).  Your muscles may still be a bit weak in the abdominal wall, and you may have some extra flab, but for the most part your body functions have resumed "normal" activity.  Of course, if you are breastfeeding, there is that major change, too.  One thing you may be experiencing now (like I am) is hair loss.  A lot of hair loss.

This seemingly unnatural and excessive evacuation of hair from your head is due to the growth cycles being disrupted during pregnancy and not (let me repeat, NOT) from breastfeeding.  Your hair passes through a three-phase life cycle: anagen (growth phase) - which can last an average of three years, catagen (transition phase), and telogen (resting phase) - which lasts from 1 to 6 months with an average of 3 months.  Normally, about 85 to 95 percent of the hair on your head is growing and the other 5 to 15 percent is in a resting stage. After the resting period, this hair falls out — usually while you're brushing, washing, or otherwise agitating it — and is replaced by new growth.  The new (anagen) hairs actually push the old (telogen) hairs out of the follicle.  During a normal, non-pregnant, non-postpartum time of your life, you'd lose about 100 hairs per day.

During pregnancy, the boost of estrogen extends the normal growth phase of the cycle so that more and more of your hair is growing rather than resting.  Hence the thick, sexy hair you had while pregnant.  Once you give birth, estrogen levels plummet.  Of course, about 3 months postpartum (on average), the telogen (resting) phase has completed and progressed back to anogen (growth)... and the hair falls out of your head seemingly all at once.  Hair may come out in clumps, or you look at your brush and it's furry, or your shower drain has to be snaked almost daily... personally, I feel like I could make at least one wig from all the hair on my bathroom floor right now.

There's more.  Hair texture, color, and level of oiliness or dryness could change postpartum as well.  If you had wavy hair before, it might be stick-straight now.  It could be super-oily when it used to be on the dry side.  It could be coarse when it was once baby-fine.  You really get all kinds of surprises along with the gift of motherhood.

The good news is, sometime between 6 months and 1 year postpartum everything goes back to normal.  Your hair resumes its normal growth cycle, texture, etc.  However, if you still notice a lot of these changes beyond your baby's first birthday, you could be iron deficient (also a common postpartum ailment).  Your health care provider can prescribe a supplement if necessary.  Another possibility is hypothyroidism (low thyroid hormone) - another fairly common postpartum condition that can easily be remedied by your health care provider.  If you are concerned, the doctor's office is your first resource for help.

WHAT TO DO:

1. Experiment with your hair.  Try a shorter haircut or a textured one, cut some bangs (to minimize the appearance of the whispy baby-hair along your forehead), or use a wash-and-go method rather than excessively styling.
2. Try some different hair care products that bulk up the hair.
3. Change your comb/brush to one that is less likely to tug and stress the hair (wider-tooth combs are better during this time).
4. If you have long hair, check your baby OFTEN for one of your hairs wrapped tightly around the baby's toes, fingers, or (yes, even) penis.  This is called a "hair tourniquet" and can be very painful to your little one.  If he or she is crying and you've already done the typical feeding, diapering, and fatigue checks, this should be the very next thing you look for.

I'm holding out for sometime between three and nine months from now.  Until then, I just know I have to clean the bathroom a bit more often than I enjoy.

Relocation

We are a military family.  For those who don't know, one of the biggest challenges faced ROUTINELY by military families is the instability created from frequent moves.  Often, these moves can be from one side of the country, or even the world, to the other.  In the last two years, we have had a deployment, a move from Washington to Georgia, and a move from Georgia to Alaska.  Now, we are scheduled to move from Alaska to Maryland in a matter of days.  The impact of such changes can be brutal to a child.

For example, our daughter was (sort of) potty trained while we lived in Georgia.  Then, somewhere between packing up, spending time in North Carolina and Virginia with relatives, and driving across half the US and Canada before arriving in (no kidding) North Pole, Alaska, she became "untrained" all over again.  It took months to recover, and she still has some inexplicable and VERY preventable accidents.  Case in point, about a month ago, she stated she needed to use the potty, then proceeded to stand in front of it on her stool with her pants down, and pee on herself rather than just SIT DOWN on the toilet that was touching the back of her thighs as she stood there.  Infuriating!

This next move will be no less than a logistical nightmare.  We have two cats, two children, two adults, a car, and a house full of stuff to move over 4,000 miles.  We are splitting the family to accommodate all of our needs as best we can.  My husband and daughter will go first, with the cats, house-hunting and visiting with all our east-coast relatives.  The baby boy and I will remain behind to tie up loose ends and so I can continue to nurse him.  I also must face the incredibly challenging, expensive, and yet important task of shipping frozen breast milk east.  It will likely cost over $100 to send a mere 48 ounces of frozen milk over that great distance.  But it's like gold to me.  I literally get teary-eyed when I have to pour out even two ounces that the boy didn't finish at daycare.  Could you imagine tossing 8 full feedings' worth?

Our daughter has shown great resilience in these challenges with moving.  With the exception of the pee and poop accidents (that have seemed to dwindle down to a rare occurrence - mostly due to distraction), she has been able to adapt well to all the changes.  I wonder if her baby brother will be able to show the same kind of resilience?  Well, he is only 3 months old.  He won't remember.  But she will.  I wonder how she'll be able to face the loss of her friend, a little boy a few months younger than she is, whom we'll visit for the last time today?

Growing too fast!

Of course. It's what they all say. But when you observe your eleven week old son licking his lips as he watches another baby being spoon-fed sweet potatoes, it definitely hits home.

He is still developmentally too young to start rice cereal mixed with breast milk, but now I am keenly aware that I will not have to struggle with the introduction of a spoon as I did with his big sister.  His interest alone is enough to let me know we can start as soon as his little digestive system can handle it.

In other news, he is also sleeping a 6 hour stretch from about 9 pm till 3 am every night. I so want to push his bedtime to the right just to get his stretch to match mine, but he gets ridiculously angry with a later bedtime and wakes at 3 anyway, so we will hang tough a while longer. If our firstborn was any indication, his timeline will shift on its own soon anyway.

I am afraid if I blink, he will be three like his sister...at which point she would be six. Sigh... Too fast.

The List

EUREKA!!!!

We have discovered a method that works.  As mentioned in the previous blog, our 3-year-old was adamantly opposed to independently clothing herself.  I should mention that creativity in parenting style is an absolute must-have.  So, using my creative brain, I developed a list.

1. Wake up.
2. Use the toilet.
3. Brush teeth.
4. Get dressed.
5. Comb hair.
6. Make the bed.

It seemed a little ambitious, I know.  It might be kind of hard to expect a 3-year-old to do these tasks.  I went a step further and animated each item on the list with a little girl that looks kind of like my little girl.  Since she can't read yet, I had to effectively demonstrate the activity being performed for each item on the list.  The girl has quite a memory on her, though... so I really only had to say it once and she quickly stored it away.  And HALLELUJAH, she got out of bed and did EVERY item on her list.  We were ready to go in less than thirty minutes.

When I saw she checked the list before bedtime too (even though it was a wake-up list), I did the next logical thing and made a good-night list, too.  This one has more steps, but I felt having a streamlined bedtime routine might be worthwhile.

1. Get undressed.
2. Put in the hamper.
3. Put on P.J.s.
4. Feed the kitties.
5. Brush teeth.
6. Use the toilet.
7. Get ONE book.
8. Good night!

Again, I animated each item so she'd know what each thing meant.  I posted the wake-up list at her eye level on her bedroom door, and the good-night list at her eye level on the bathroom door.  Sometimes she gets confused, or when she's trying to stall will "accidentally" do the wake-up list instead of the good-night one.  And yet, the child loves structure.  Who knew?  I didn't.  It was just a guess, and a lucky one at that.

The War for Independence

I realize that much of my recent blogging has been about the Rookie in our midst. Not to omit the Firstborn from her rightful place in the blogosphere, today's piece is about her.

We have tried to instill a certain degree of autonomy in our preschooler because studies have shown that it is healthy for a child to exhibit independence in a safe home environment. Unfortunately, our child blatantly refuses to acknowledge, much less accept, this autonomy (except in those rare situations when we stress conforming to societal norms, such as exhibiting appropriate social behavior in public). While we try to educate our daughter that it is generally unacceptable to poo one's pants and subsequently remove one's socks, put them on one's hands, pick up the poop, and parade it around the house, we also have placed importance on the ability to dress and undress oneself. Too much importance, apparently, as the inherent talent most 3-year-olds possess is the ability to sense what is meaningful to parents and that they must destroy it.

Most kids her age, however, are also quite adept at removing all of their clothing (most frequently in the supermarket or other unsanctioned locales) even if their proficiency in donning clothing leaves a bit to be desired. Not so with our daughter, whose tactic remains to be either teary-eyed caterwauling or going limp when attempts are made to train her on this developmental stage.

It appears that this battle for independence is going to be hard won, but we will manage to force this autonomy upon our child just as nations force political systems on other nations. After all, it is for her own good.

Diapering options: Can of worms number two

I have friends who are really environmentally conscious people.  They follow every available "green" trend out there to the best of their abilities in their efforts to reduce their environmental impact.  I applaud their efforts.  As part of their "greenitude" they choose to diaper their little ones with cloth.  All of them are SAHMs (Stay-At-Home-Moms).  Why does that matter?  Read on.

I am an active duty Army mom.  Once I return to work and return to business as usual, I will be away from my kids for a full 12 hours per day AT LEAST.  I will pump so that I may continue to breastfeed, even though I'll have to do it in bathrooms and locker rooms because there is no "nursing mom" room in my office building and I don't have a private office.  This is me, doing the best for my kids.  The last thing I want to do is spend the precious little time each day I have with them washing dirty diapers.

Let's look at the options.  Cloth diapers pose a big up-front cost in about $15-$18 per diaper.  Most starter packs of cloth diapers come in sets of one dozen.  My son goes through about 10 diapers per day, maybe more or less but it's a good average.  I'd need to start with two dozen just to ensure I'd have enough AND I'd be doing laundry daily just to ensure that he is able to have clean diapers while I'm washing the dirty ones.  If I wait two days, I'm screwed because there won't be diapers for him while the others are being washed.  Additionally, assuming I'd be using cotton, I'd be doing each load of diapers three times according to the recommended guidelines by the Real Diaper Industry Association.  This is three loads of hot-water wash (probably not full loads because a dozen diapers roughly equates to as many pairs of socks in your wash), and three separate trips through the dryer.  The "cha-ching" to both the water and electric companies makes me nauseated.  We use cold water to wash everything but whites once per WEEK right now.  Three hot-water loads per day???  Even if I were a lazier type of parent (and who isn't?) and chose only to hot-water wash them once, it's still 6 more hot water loads than we normally do.

I am too lazy to figure out how many gallons of water are used in each wash cycle or how many kilowatt hours in each wash-and-dry cycle, but we'd effectively be doubling our consumption of washing and drying each week if I went the one-wash-only route (it would quadruple our consumption if I did the three-wash-sanitizing route).  Our consumption of fuel oil (which heats our home and our water heater) is currently only about 4 gallons per day, but I estimate that would probably double with all the extra use of hot water.  Fuel oil costs about $4.00 per gallon where I live.  I also estimate an extra $20-30 per month on our electricity bill for the energy use.  Of course, we'd be doubling (or quadrupling) our detergent use as well.  Then there is wear-and-tear on the washer and dryer to consider.  Using it that much more frequently means I'd need to start saving up for the replacements and/or repairs.  The hidden costs of cloth diapering are astounding.

So perhaps a diaper service would work to our advantage and save us those pennies for energy costs, the wear-and-tear on the washer and dryer, and all that (hot) water!  They can ensure sterilization and deliver the diapers to my door.  But... the AVERAGE price is $20 per week.  I pay $40 a MONTH for my disposables!  How is cloth diapering supposed to save me time or money?

To be fair about the inconvenience, cloth diapers have come a long way since my own infancy.  Many companies offer pre-folded diapers with waterproof covers that secure with hook-and-loop or snap closures.  No more folding it all up yourself or having to use a scary pin on a squirming infant.  It now takes about as much time to diaper a baby in cloth as it does in disposable.  Of course, if your kid is like mine, be prepared to "waste" a diaper here and there because he wasn't done with his "business" before you started the changing process.

As for the environmental impact, I read an article stating disposable diapers account for 2% of waste in the U.S.  This means 98% is "something else."  Additionally, disposable diaper companies (the largest being Proctor and Gamble) have come under political pressure by environmental groups and financial pressure considering the fact that the "inconvenience" has pretty much been taken out of using cloth.  Now, even disposable diapers can be recycled.  In uber-green states like Washington, some diaper services are now picking up used disposables and running them through the same processes they use to sanitize their cloth diapers, breaking apart disposables into recyclable components, and reducing landfill input.

The bottom line here is that MY bottom line stays in the black when I use disposables.  It works for my family.  When I'm away from my kids so frequently, I want as much time with them as possible.  Additionally, my daycare center (which is flexible on many things) still requires the use of disposables in their centers.  Since many families use cloth during the day and disposables at night or on trips (for better leak protection and to avoid having to cart around dirties), it hardly seems worth it to me to bother with cloth.  The one MAJOR benefit I see to using cloth over disposables is that potty training happens faster with kids in cloth because they feel the wetness/dirtiness faster than a disposable-diaper-wearing kid would.

Ultimately, each family must come to a decision about what is important to them.  SAHMs get to spend all their time (if they want) with their little ones.  So, what's a few loads of laundry in the mix?  No big deal.  Studies have also shown that in the longer term, cloth is cheaper than disposables (mostly because of that whole early-potty-training bit; kids in disposables potty train around age three and kids in cloth do it a year earlier on average).  There is no judgment here against anyone deciding to use cloth over disposable diapers.  If you can do it, I think that's great.  It just doesn't work for us.  And within this blog, I have detailed several reasons why it doesn't work for us.

Still, I find it amazing to see that people get up in arms over these decisions about whether to use cloth or disposable, to share a bed or not share a bed, to breastfeed or bottle-feed, to use organic or homemade baby foods or buy it from a jar, to stay at home or have a job, to home school or send them off to public or private school, etc.  My litmus test is my own kids.  Both seem very happy and healthy.  My 3-year-old is well-adjusted, socialized, has an extensive vocabulary (that often surprises many people), and enjoys life.  She IS life in a 35-pound bag of meat and bones.  My nearly-6-week-old is smiling at me and cooing, gaining weight at an alarming rate for a breastfed baby, and growing like a weed.

The fact that we have options is great.  We can tailor our child-rearing practices to meet the needs of our families and our world.  Who doesn't love that?

Co-sleeping and the can of worms

The can of worms...

Everyone has an opinion about whether or not sharing a room with a newborn is wise, safe, and healthy. But I must clarify... Co-sleeping means simply sharing a room, while bed-sharing (also known as family beds) is a sub-component of rooming in. Most people think of sharing a bed when they hear co-sleeping being discussed.

Here's my opinion and why I have it.  Co-sleeping (as in, rooming in) is a fantastic idea for newborns.  Nursing on demand coupled with new babies and trying to get acquainted with one another, learn what their cries mean, and all that goes with newbornism make it more practical for rooming in for those early days.  However, bed-sharing is an absolute no-no.  I say this with the caveat that I admit to falling asleep while nursing my son in bed.  However, he has never spent an entire night in our bed and neither has our daughter.  Mostly it is not for the fear of suffocation or any reason that is most frequently listed by most anti-bed-sharing folks.

Simply stated, I do not want to create a monster that will take over my sleeping space.  I paid a lot of money for my fantastic Sleep Number bed, and I don't want to share it with my little ones.  Selfish?  Not really.  I have given them each their own sleeping spaces, and I want them to use it.  I mean, siblings just don't get made when the other kids are sharing your bed every night.  At least, not in my world.

Children are very keen on adapting to change.  Good or bad.  They can and will adapt to being in a different room from the parents.  Just as, if given the chance to sleep in your bed every night (or even just when they are sick), they will adapt to that so that breaking the habit becomes more and more difficult.  Bottom line, a five-year-old simply does not need to be in bed with his/her parents.  I want my children to be individuated, independent, self-confident, etc.  Although I will not say that these traits cannot be imparted among children who sleep in a "family bed," I will say it's much easier to identify these traits among kids who have their own space.

Now, if you choose to comment on this blog, be nice.  This is just my opinion and why I choose this option among all child-rearing options out there.  Nobody is making you do it too.

Feels like the first time.... almost.

I have noted several similarities between our girl and our boy.  And, despite the obvious biological difference, many other differences as well.

Our son J is already 4 weeks old.  Actually, he is 4 1/2 weeks old now.  At 4 weeks, he can lift his head up (which he did at two days old in the hospital).  His sister did the same.  Thus, I was not surprised by this (this time).  He has also smiled, cooed, and gave me a full-on belly laugh which I really wish I'd caught on tape (if not for the fact that he was nursing at the time).

A major difference between our son and daughter is how exceptionally needy the boy is.  He wants to be held much more than his sister.  He cannot be put down for long before he is yowling to be picked up again.  The baby swing, though not used nearly as much for E, has been a savior for J.  Well, a savior for us so we can put J down while we do laundry or something.  He was in the swing long enough for me to clean the poop out of my daughter's underwear (she had an accident at school today), but shortly after he was wailing.  As of now, he is peacefully curled up against my chest as I type with the keyboard sitting atop the Boppy pillow behind him.

In similar parenting efforts, J moved to his own room last night (at about 4 1/2 weeks), just as his sister did 3 years ago when she was his age.  I am thankful that the effort to do so went off well and we all got more sleep than the previous weeks.  This would be a huge can of worms because everyone has his/her own opinion on it (and there is mounds of research to go either way) but I do not consider co-sleeping (as in, sleeping in the same room - NOT the same as bed-sharing) beyond one month worthwhile.  I do not consider bed-sharing to be a good idea in the slightest (although I admit to subconsciously caving in to this as I have fallen asleep while nursing several times).  I will address these concerns in a separate blog, but the main point here is that when co-sleeping I hear every little squeak and peep he makes.  This makes my night very long and arduous and sleep is fleeting.

Delightfully, our son seems to be as charming and as curious about the world as his sister was.  He also seems to be a lover of his own image in a mirror and already seems to know when a camera (or camera phone) is nearby.  He will be a flirt, and I'm excited to see his personality develop.  Even if he's a little needy right now.

The Packing List

There are several things I wish I knew as a mother-to-be when packing for the trip to the hospital.  I wish I knew the stuff I really needed and the stuff I really didn't need, for example.  So here is a list of things I felt were necessary and unnecessary for the trip to have a baby.

The Stuff You Need

• Lip balm
• Refillable water bottle (i.e., Camelbak)
• Your own pillow from home
• A blackout mask (in case you can't turn off the lights in your hospital room)
• Snacks for your support person (and for you, after baby is born - late night or holiday babies inconveniently show up when the cafeteria is closed)
• Stuff to do (reading materials or a laptop with some movies) - for during labor and/or after baby when there are no visitors - if you are lucky, your hospital will have free wi-fi.
• MATERNITY CLOTHES (you will still appear about 4 months pregnant, more or less, when you discharge from the hospital so don't think about your skinny jeans yet)
• Baby clothes (a couple different sets and a couple different sizes, in case your child is larger or smaller than you anticipated)
• An empty bag to carry home all the free stuff you'll get from the hospital or birthing center (including diapers, books on newborn and infant care, wipes, mommy-care items like the jumbo maternity pads, sitz bath, medications, and maybe more)
• Camera with charger/batteries
• Car seat (most states require it be inspected for safety before you can go home with your baby)

The Stuff You Don't Need

• Nightgown from home (unless you just really want it - but it might get bloody and gross)
• Candles, scented oils, or other stuff you intend to use during labor - you might not even be thinking about it at all when you are actually in labor
• Toiletries (believe it or not, most hospitals and birthing centers have dental hygiene kits they'll give you and the showers have body wash and shampoo on wall-mounted dispensers) - but if you really like your own stuff, bring it
• Video camera (most birthing centers and hospitals do not permit video of birth because consent is required from all people present - including nursing staff - to have them on video, and nobody has time for that during a birth)
• Diapers, 15 receiving blankets, pacifiers, and other baby gear (the hospital supplies you with diapers and wipes, and you really only need one blanket for the trip home, but hats and blankets are available for baby during your stay at the hospital/birthing center)
• A lot of extra stuff (remember, it all must go home with you)

Even though this isn't my first rodeo, I brought way too much stuff I didn't need and way too little of what I did.

Water Born: J's Birth Story

WARNING: Graphic content.

My due date based on LMP was 1 February.  They adjusted it after ultrasound to 3 February.  When these days came and went, I was exceedingly discouraged.  After all, my firstborn showed up at week 39!  Aren't second and later children supposed to come sooner?  Well, our little son J didn't come sooner, but he came faster than his big sister E.

I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions for a few days, off and on.  With no real regularity and no increasing pain or intensity, I paid very little attention to them.  However, on Monday morning the 7th of February, something was different.  I was determined to encourage these contractions to grow.  We went for walks, ran errands, tried to stay busy.  By three in the afternoon I was starting to get agitated by disappointment.  Was this boy ever going to make an appearance?

I decided that the BH contractions might be getting more regular and, just for kicks, started timing them around 3:30 PM.  They were at first 12 minutes apart, lasting for maybe 45 seconds.  In the span of maybe 45 minutes, they had regulated to 5 minute intervals, lasting a minute each.  I called the L&D unit at about 4:30 to ask verification of when I should come in.  The nurse who answered said, "You still sound a little perky."  This is a classic sign that the nursing staff would be sending me right back home if I showed up right now.  She gave the criteria: 3-4 minutes apart lasting for at least a minute with very little break in between.  And painful (so I would not be "perky").  I told her I'd be there in an hour.  I'm pretty sure she laughed about me with the other nurses after hanging up.

We left for the hospital and arrived about 5:45 PM.  The nurse was surprised to see us.  Another nurse escorted us to a room for screening.  I had 2 contractions while trying to produce a urine sample.  I think I came up with maybe 15 mL.  Wonder what they could do with that?  Finally, finally, about 6:05 PM I had a cervix check, and I was told by the nurse, "You're a 4, and I can stretch it to 5.  100% effaced."  So we were admitted.

I endured yet another contraction while my dear husband searched for a room closer to the birthing tub (unfortunately the room right across the hall from it was occupied).  He found one right around the corner, not too far of a walk.  We then took the "stroll" to get in there.  Hubby got me a fitness ball to labor on because I was having a hard time being comfortable in any position and I knew I did not want to get on the bed.  Laboring on the birthing ball was nice because I could stretch out my legs and shorten the birth canal and rock back and forth.  Meanwhile, hubby massaged my hips and lower back during each contraction.

Around 8:30 PM, the on-duty OB came in for another check (they won't do it more frequently than every two hours).  She said she was a conservative in measuring and said 5 cm.  Could be 6.  Maybe.  I was like, "Really?  After 2 1/2 hours of all that, there was very little change!?"  This was in my head, of course, because I was unable to talk much.  I did ask for the ONE qualified midwife who does water birth to be notified.  She was not on duty but agreed to come in.  About that time, about 8:45, the water was ready.  And I was ready to be in it!  I was hoping for the relieving qualities I'd read about.

But, the untrained staff had overheated the water.  It was 110 degrees!  My legs were on fire, and I had to lean over the side while half-standing to wait for them to drain some hot water and put in some cold.  It had to get to 100 or lower.  95-97 degrees is preferred.  Contractions were coming like crazy by this point, and suddenly I said, "Oh, something's coming out!"  It was my bag of waters, slipping out of me.  My husband said it looked like my vagina blew a bubble.  And then it burst.  I said, "It's going to get bad in a hurry now!"  And it did.  They tried to do a cervix check on me then, and I couldn't move into a position favorable for them to do so.  I said, "It's getting really hard not to push."  I was trying every breathing technique I could think of.  Probably the hardest physical thing to do in the world is resist the urge to push.  They told me I had to get out of the tub.  The midwife would not make it before the baby would.  Someone (bless their soul) called her anyway and she told them she could be there in 10 minutes and to let me stay in the water.

Ten minutes.  Is.  Forever.

She arrived after what felt like an eternity of panting and puffing to avoid bearing down, and I was still holding out while she got her "goop gear" on.  She turned to me and said, "You can push if you feel the urge."  I said, "Oh, thank God."  And I did.  Between contractions, she checked and said, "Oh the head is right there."  Maybe two or three inches from the outside world.  I had gone from a "conservative 5 cm" to ready to rock in a half hour!

In perhaps 15 minutes (about 5 contractions with 2-3 pushes each), our son J entered the water at 9:50 PM.  The umbilical cord was around his neck one time so he was under water longer than typical to get the cord off his head.  He came up to the surface, and I grabbed him from the midwife and said, "My baby!"  I cuddled him up to me and he opened his eyes to look around.  He was beautiful and perfect.  He was finally here!

I had originally said my main reason for not getting drug intervention this time (aside from the side effects) was because with my firstborn, the pain meds had worn off and I felt everything anyway.  This is not entirely correct.  There were residual effects of the pain medicine then because this time I truly felt everything.  I admit... I am thankful for my very short time in labor.  However, I can also say with certainty that the ongoing uterine contractions during the first few days postpartum is worse than the labor and birth.  At least in labor you are progressing toward a goal - to have a baby.  While having a nice, firm uterus postpartum is important (reduced risk of hemhorrage, getting back to a non-pregnant state faster, reducing the hormone storm, etc.), it isn't quite the momentous achievement of birth.

Because my Week 38 Group B Strep test came back positive, I was supposed to have two doses of IV antibiotics administered over 4 hours to help little J enter the world without risk of infection.  Because we were at the hospital for less than 4 hours before he arrived, we obviously didn't make the cut.  So we had to stay longer in the hospital than we wanted.  But... how amazing a ride!  A boy who was determined to stay put for as long as he wanted in utero made a decision and acted on it without a degree of hesitation... when it was time to leave, he left expeditiously!

Tick-tock...

Our son is due to arrive this week, and we are quite excited about it.  While his sister arrived a week early, it appears this one will not be following suit.  This is perfectly okay with us, as we are about as unprepared to bring our newborn home as we could possibly be!  Okay, it's not really that bad, but it could definitely be a whole lot better.  We have bought diapers, but I am putting off packing a "to-go" bag.  His room is set up, but he won't be sleeping in it for at least a month... meanwhile, the bed-side sleeper I bought STILL has not arrived (despite its anticipated arrival date of 21-25 January).

The second child is definitely a different expectation from the first.  While I was just beside myself and eager to meet our firstborn, I am silently willing this boy to stay put at least for another day.  My mother arrives tomorrow night to help with toddler care and new baby care and exhausted parent care.  Considering our current living circumstances (far away from nearly everyone we care about), it is reasonable to see why I would want him to wait.  We are still, of course, excited to meet him.  My husband, actually, is more excited this time because he is no longer afraid of fatherhood.  He is the one who keeps telling me to go pack my bag.

Guess I should get on that.

E is THREE!!!

Yesterday, my firstborn turned three.  It is absolutely impossible to imagine the road we've taken over these past three years (nearly four, if you include the pregnancy too).  Today we will celebrate with friends while enduring even more of her obsession with Thomas the Train.

She says things that embarrass us, cause us to laugh hysterically, anger us, surprise us, and sometimes all of that happens at once.  She does things that infuriate us to no end, and she does other things that just melt our hearts.  Her smile sends us over the moon; her (real) cry breaks us into a million pieces.  Her fake cry annoys us.  Her secret language baffles us, as does her command of vocabulary in English and even a little Spanish.

We just never know what each day will bring us, and we're reveling in this short period of time we have left with just her before our world changes again with the arrival of our son in (more or less) a month.