The Yacht Club

Evidently, my children are boaters. One small problem.... we do not, nor can we afford to, own a boat. The pictured boat belongs to my brother-in-law and his father. While a modest income can certainly afford a boat (we grew up with one), the additional costs of maintaining, storing, and using one can be far outside the limits. In my mind, I would imagine the only people who have boats and use them more than once or twice a year are either (a) fishermen or (b) people who use the names of seasons as verbs (e.g., "We shall summer in New England this year").

Siblings on Uncle's boat 

Meanwhile, the babies are no babies. My, how they've grown! My girl is now a five-year-old who has completed a year of pre-K at a lovely school in our area. She moves on to kindergarten this fall. Her aunt (wife of the boat-owner, and my sister) is pregnant. So, now my darling daughter pretends to be pregnant as well. She has no idea how much the prospect of her becoming pregnant (like EVER) terrifies me. Of course, someday this fear will vanish, I'm sure. There will come a time when grandchildren will seem like fun (rather than the death knell of my youth).

Five years old - the Skipper

We experienced our first (ever) fracture. During soccer, she had an avulsion fracture of her right fibula after tripping over a soccer ball. Never mind that it occurred because I might have allowed her to wear inappropriate shoes. She's taking it well, and is allowed to walk around with an air-cast. However, I should clarify that this child does not walk. She hops. She skips. She jumps, dips, dives, and does pretty much everything her doctor said not to do. And why not? She's five.

Two years old - the First Mate

My boy is two, and not the terrible kind. I'm convinced two is "terrific" and three is the "terrible" one. We'll see, come this time next year. Potty-training will be on the agenda for this year (hopefully this summer). He already senses the bodily urge and knows how to use the toilet, but his interest waxes and wanes (or, more appropriate to the theme, ebbs and flows like the tides).

He speaks rather well, but we've learned that his adenoids are enlarged and may be impacting his speech and breathing. While he gets sufficient oxygen, his sleep is likely impacted from snoring, and his speech is affected by the poor airflow during specific lip and mouth movements. We have a follow-up otolaryngology (ENT) consultation to determine if he will need surgery. While I try to wrap my mind around surgery on my baby boy, I have heard from other moms whose children managed to survive adenoidectomies.

Finally, we consider for a moment the possibility of expanding our family. What might that do to our great dynamic? How will the first two react to a third? They each have selected a same-sex sibling, as well as a name - the daughter wishes for a sister named Daisy Sunrose, and the son wishes for a brother with the same name as he has (because it is SO EPIC). And then, there are the financial considerations of how to manage upgrading a car (a must, to fit in a third child seat), where we'd all sleep, and how to pay for child care (which already costs more than our mortgage). So much for the yacht club.

Feels like the first time.... almost.

I have noted several similarities between our girl and our boy.  And, despite the obvious biological difference, many other differences as well.

Our son J is already 4 weeks old.  Actually, he is 4 1/2 weeks old now.  At 4 weeks, he can lift his head up (which he did at two days old in the hospital).  His sister did the same.  Thus, I was not surprised by this (this time).  He has also smiled, cooed, and gave me a full-on belly laugh which I really wish I'd caught on tape (if not for the fact that he was nursing at the time).

A major difference between our son and daughter is how exceptionally needy the boy is.  He wants to be held much more than his sister.  He cannot be put down for long before he is yowling to be picked up again.  The baby swing, though not used nearly as much for E, has been a savior for J.  Well, a savior for us so we can put J down while we do laundry or something.  He was in the swing long enough for me to clean the poop out of my daughter's underwear (she had an accident at school today), but shortly after he was wailing.  As of now, he is peacefully curled up against my chest as I type with the keyboard sitting atop the Boppy pillow behind him.

In similar parenting efforts, J moved to his own room last night (at about 4 1/2 weeks), just as his sister did 3 years ago when she was his age.  I am thankful that the effort to do so went off well and we all got more sleep than the previous weeks.  This would be a huge can of worms because everyone has his/her own opinion on it (and there is mounds of research to go either way) but I do not consider co-sleeping (as in, sleeping in the same room - NOT the same as bed-sharing) beyond one month worthwhile.  I do not consider bed-sharing to be a good idea in the slightest (although I admit to subconsciously caving in to this as I have fallen asleep while nursing several times).  I will address these concerns in a separate blog, but the main point here is that when co-sleeping I hear every little squeak and peep he makes.  This makes my night very long and arduous and sleep is fleeting.

Delightfully, our son seems to be as charming and as curious about the world as his sister was.  He also seems to be a lover of his own image in a mirror and already seems to know when a camera (or camera phone) is nearby.  He will be a flirt, and I'm excited to see his personality develop.  Even if he's a little needy right now.

Pre-school?

I got two notes when I picked my daughter up from daycare today.  The first one was an injury report - she had scratches on her face from a little boy in her class.  The daycare center is not permitted to name the other child in the incident, but E totally ratted him out.  She pointed at him and said, "He did it!"  Luckily, I'm not one of "those moms" who tries to wait out the parent of the offending child so I can say something to him or her.  No, because I know my own child is the instigator.  And of course, she was today too.  She tried to take away his toy and was successful.  He tried to get it back, so she hit him.  Then he scratched her face.  End of scenario.

The second note I got was about putting her in the all-day pre-school class starting next week.  She's been doing much better with her potty training, so they decided that for her own development, she should really go to the pre-school class instead of the toddler class.  She will be in a room with three- and four-year-olds.  She turns three in January.  I am delighted at her intelligence and social development because this means she can engage the rapidly-growing part of her brain where language and math are emerging.  I'm also sad because my little girl is definitely no baby.

Pre-school!  Wow.  We're really moving up.

Potty-Training Continues

E has been working on using the potty for a couple of months now. We at first intended to use Toilet Training in Less than a Day by Azrin and Foxx. It is a clinically-researched method to train (believe it or not) profoundly mentally retarded adults into being able to use the toilet unassisted. The authors did further research with both mentally retarded and normal children and found the tactics worked really well. It involves using a doll that wets with its own toilet (those things are EXPENSIVE) and lots of praise and treats.

We did the effort for a day or two but found it really frustrating when she simply refused to participate. We decided instead that she could figure it out on her own if we just kept encouraging her. And she has gone 3 full days without pooping in her Pull-up and is now down to just two Pull-ups a day. Almost time to start using big girl panties! We're so excited. However, potty training in itself has been an adventure.

Things I had NO idea I would be dealing with when potty-training a two-year-old:

• Intense fear of the automated flush-toilets in public restrooms
• Intense fear of the hand dryers in public restrooms
• Musical potty - the inability of the child to decide whether to use the child potty or the "big potty"
• Being cheered on by my daughter when I used the bathroom
• The crazy comments I would hear

To elaborate, E screams like you are trying to kill her if there are hand dryers in the bathroom. She has now begun calmly stating, "We don't use the dryer," instead, which is a relief. However, the flush toilets cannot be bargained with. She abandoned my mother in a public bathroom when the automatic flush activated while Mom was still using the toilet. E unlocked the stall and left my mother, pants around ankles, with the stall standing wide open.

She alternates between using the "big potty" - the one that is generally found in bathrooms - and her training toilet. Sometimes she wants to sit on the toilet rather than the potty, which often requires some adult supervision, if not full on support. However, her interest in doing well is taking over, so we adapt. The most alarming things have been when she comes in while I'm on the toilet.

She has said the following (either to me or about her own efforts):

• "Let me see, Mama." (when I've been on the toilet)
• "Good job, Mama!" (when I get up)
• "Ooooh, that's a Biiiiig Poop!" (for her own efforts as well as... yes, mine)
• "We go pee in the potty and not on the floor." (internalizing our comments to her after she peed on her bedroom floor one night)

Overall, it's been quite a fun ride. I think she'll get better and better as we go along, and I am so glad to know we won't have two in diapers at the same time!

Intelligence

So you never really know what you're dealing with as far as intelligence goes until it is demonstrated so plainly that there is no question. We're dealing with a genius. No doubt about it. This child is incredibly smart. By 18 months, she already knew her alphabet. She knew all of her primary, secondary, and tertiary colors by 22 months, as well as how to count to ten. My sister even taught her the shapes beyond the typical circle, square, triangle (stuff she knew since about 18 months) and taught her octagon, hexagon, and trapezoid.

Tonight, she yet again wowed me with her ability to think in more abstract ways. I told her, as per our usual bedtime routine, to go pick out ONE book.

She chose the one with five stories in it. Little stinker!

Sibling Needed

Our toddler is adorable. A biased mother can say so. And even though I hear her talking to herself, her toys, me, her imagination, or the cats from inside her bedroom when she should be sleeping, I know deep down I cannot be upset with this child just yet. One thing, however, is very clear to me: she needs a sibling. And soon.

Sharing is something she's learned at daycare, but at home she believes that everything is hers (perception is reality, of course, because EVERYTHING seems to be hers). She acts less polite, more unruly, and more defiant at home. At daycare, her teachers report that she's a marvel, a wonder, well-behaved, well-read, and highly entertaining to them and the rest of her peers. She LOVES to be the center of attention.

This, however, is also a problem. More than just a personality trait, if this child isn't the center of attention ALL THE TIME, I fear she'll become destructive and engage in behaviors totally unbecoming of her (and totally embarrassing for me). Therefore, she must have a sibling. Besides, I love my sister and am so glad to have her. She needs a brother or sister, too. Like, now.

Let the planning phase begin!

E is TWO

Two years ago today, E was born. She is our first child. She is probably the most wonderful, creative, imaginative, perfect representations of both my husband's and my best (and worst) qualities.

With toddlerhood (and more importantly, two-year-old-ness), comes the magic word we have come to understand as "NO!" No nap, no lunch, no milk, no clean up, no Mama, no Daddy, no come here, no bye-bye, no-no-no-no-no. All of these are fashionable for a toddler to try on. The best we can hope for is that she will tire of it quickly.

The majority of her antics are on full display around naptime or bedtime. These are some of the more creative adventures we've had in recent weeks with our very own "little monster" :

• While my mother (who snores) was lying down beside E to help her fall asleep, my mom accidentally fell asleep also. On the first snore to escape Mom's lips, E sat BOLT UPRIGHT in bed and (very seriously) asked, "Who farted?"
• When she was supposed to be napping, my mom went to check on her and caught her sitting with her back to the door. When asked what she was doing, E responded, "E is a bad girl." On closer inspection, she'd taken all of my mother's post-it notes (like 24 pads) out of cellophane and began sticking them all over everything in sight.
• When she was supposed to be in bed, we found her asleep on the floor, with a sock on one hand, a boot on one foot, and the other foot bare.
• On waking from a nap, she yelled down the hall from her room (which is protected with a baby gate). She wanted to be taken out, so she yelled, "Anybody? Hello? I want to get out of this gate."

E is quite a little charmer as well, and has tried everything to prolong the bedtime routine. She asks for the cliche "drink of water" as well as for "just one more book," and has also been more direct in stating that she wanted to "go back in there [living room] and play with toys."

Her speech is quite amazing for someone so small, and her vocabulary is vast and rapidly expanding. She says some of the craziest things, like, "Oh, my Lo-o-ord!" and "Careful, Mama!" when you have to hit the brakes really hard in the car because of other maniacs on the road. She is also a backseat driver, telling me when there's a red light, and that it means stop.

She is a clever little one, and definitely the most fun and challenging little thing I've yet faced. Can't wait for the rest of this year and whatever is next!