The Yacht Club

Evidently, my children are boaters. One small problem.... we do not, nor can we afford to, own a boat. The pictured boat belongs to my brother-in-law and his father. While a modest income can certainly afford a boat (we grew up with one), the additional costs of maintaining, storing, and using one can be far outside the limits. In my mind, I would imagine the only people who have boats and use them more than once or twice a year are either (a) fishermen or (b) people who use the names of seasons as verbs (e.g., "We shall summer in New England this year").

Siblings on Uncle's boat 

Meanwhile, the babies are no babies. My, how they've grown! My girl is now a five-year-old who has completed a year of pre-K at a lovely school in our area. She moves on to kindergarten this fall. Her aunt (wife of the boat-owner, and my sister) is pregnant. So, now my darling daughter pretends to be pregnant as well. She has no idea how much the prospect of her becoming pregnant (like EVER) terrifies me. Of course, someday this fear will vanish, I'm sure. There will come a time when grandchildren will seem like fun (rather than the death knell of my youth).

Five years old - the Skipper

We experienced our first (ever) fracture. During soccer, she had an avulsion fracture of her right fibula after tripping over a soccer ball. Never mind that it occurred because I might have allowed her to wear inappropriate shoes. She's taking it well, and is allowed to walk around with an air-cast. However, I should clarify that this child does not walk. She hops. She skips. She jumps, dips, dives, and does pretty much everything her doctor said not to do. And why not? She's five.

Two years old - the First Mate

My boy is two, and not the terrible kind. I'm convinced two is "terrific" and three is the "terrible" one. We'll see, come this time next year. Potty-training will be on the agenda for this year (hopefully this summer). He already senses the bodily urge and knows how to use the toilet, but his interest waxes and wanes (or, more appropriate to the theme, ebbs and flows like the tides).

He speaks rather well, but we've learned that his adenoids are enlarged and may be impacting his speech and breathing. While he gets sufficient oxygen, his sleep is likely impacted from snoring, and his speech is affected by the poor airflow during specific lip and mouth movements. We have a follow-up otolaryngology (ENT) consultation to determine if he will need surgery. While I try to wrap my mind around surgery on my baby boy, I have heard from other moms whose children managed to survive adenoidectomies.

Finally, we consider for a moment the possibility of expanding our family. What might that do to our great dynamic? How will the first two react to a third? They each have selected a same-sex sibling, as well as a name - the daughter wishes for a sister named Daisy Sunrose, and the son wishes for a brother with the same name as he has (because it is SO EPIC). And then, there are the financial considerations of how to manage upgrading a car (a must, to fit in a third child seat), where we'd all sleep, and how to pay for child care (which already costs more than our mortgage). So much for the yacht club.

Relocation

We are a military family.  For those who don't know, one of the biggest challenges faced ROUTINELY by military families is the instability created from frequent moves.  Often, these moves can be from one side of the country, or even the world, to the other.  In the last two years, we have had a deployment, a move from Washington to Georgia, and a move from Georgia to Alaska.  Now, we are scheduled to move from Alaska to Maryland in a matter of days.  The impact of such changes can be brutal to a child.

For example, our daughter was (sort of) potty trained while we lived in Georgia.  Then, somewhere between packing up, spending time in North Carolina and Virginia with relatives, and driving across half the US and Canada before arriving in (no kidding) North Pole, Alaska, she became "untrained" all over again.  It took months to recover, and she still has some inexplicable and VERY preventable accidents.  Case in point, about a month ago, she stated she needed to use the potty, then proceeded to stand in front of it on her stool with her pants down, and pee on herself rather than just SIT DOWN on the toilet that was touching the back of her thighs as she stood there.  Infuriating!

This next move will be no less than a logistical nightmare.  We have two cats, two children, two adults, a car, and a house full of stuff to move over 4,000 miles.  We are splitting the family to accommodate all of our needs as best we can.  My husband and daughter will go first, with the cats, house-hunting and visiting with all our east-coast relatives.  The baby boy and I will remain behind to tie up loose ends and so I can continue to nurse him.  I also must face the incredibly challenging, expensive, and yet important task of shipping frozen breast milk east.  It will likely cost over $100 to send a mere 48 ounces of frozen milk over that great distance.  But it's like gold to me.  I literally get teary-eyed when I have to pour out even two ounces that the boy didn't finish at daycare.  Could you imagine tossing 8 full feedings' worth?

Our daughter has shown great resilience in these challenges with moving.  With the exception of the pee and poop accidents (that have seemed to dwindle down to a rare occurrence - mostly due to distraction), she has been able to adapt well to all the changes.  I wonder if her baby brother will be able to show the same kind of resilience?  Well, he is only 3 months old.  He won't remember.  But she will.  I wonder how she'll be able to face the loss of her friend, a little boy a few months younger than she is, whom we'll visit for the last time today?

Feels like the first time.... almost.

I have noted several similarities between our girl and our boy.  And, despite the obvious biological difference, many other differences as well.

Our son J is already 4 weeks old.  Actually, he is 4 1/2 weeks old now.  At 4 weeks, he can lift his head up (which he did at two days old in the hospital).  His sister did the same.  Thus, I was not surprised by this (this time).  He has also smiled, cooed, and gave me a full-on belly laugh which I really wish I'd caught on tape (if not for the fact that he was nursing at the time).

A major difference between our son and daughter is how exceptionally needy the boy is.  He wants to be held much more than his sister.  He cannot be put down for long before he is yowling to be picked up again.  The baby swing, though not used nearly as much for E, has been a savior for J.  Well, a savior for us so we can put J down while we do laundry or something.  He was in the swing long enough for me to clean the poop out of my daughter's underwear (she had an accident at school today), but shortly after he was wailing.  As of now, he is peacefully curled up against my chest as I type with the keyboard sitting atop the Boppy pillow behind him.

In similar parenting efforts, J moved to his own room last night (at about 4 1/2 weeks), just as his sister did 3 years ago when she was his age.  I am thankful that the effort to do so went off well and we all got more sleep than the previous weeks.  This would be a huge can of worms because everyone has his/her own opinion on it (and there is mounds of research to go either way) but I do not consider co-sleeping (as in, sleeping in the same room - NOT the same as bed-sharing) beyond one month worthwhile.  I do not consider bed-sharing to be a good idea in the slightest (although I admit to subconsciously caving in to this as I have fallen asleep while nursing several times).  I will address these concerns in a separate blog, but the main point here is that when co-sleeping I hear every little squeak and peep he makes.  This makes my night very long and arduous and sleep is fleeting.

Delightfully, our son seems to be as charming and as curious about the world as his sister was.  He also seems to be a lover of his own image in a mirror and already seems to know when a camera (or camera phone) is nearby.  He will be a flirt, and I'm excited to see his personality develop.  Even if he's a little needy right now.

Potty-Training Continues

E has been working on using the potty for a couple of months now. We at first intended to use Toilet Training in Less than a Day by Azrin and Foxx. It is a clinically-researched method to train (believe it or not) profoundly mentally retarded adults into being able to use the toilet unassisted. The authors did further research with both mentally retarded and normal children and found the tactics worked really well. It involves using a doll that wets with its own toilet (those things are EXPENSIVE) and lots of praise and treats.

We did the effort for a day or two but found it really frustrating when she simply refused to participate. We decided instead that she could figure it out on her own if we just kept encouraging her. And she has gone 3 full days without pooping in her Pull-up and is now down to just two Pull-ups a day. Almost time to start using big girl panties! We're so excited. However, potty training in itself has been an adventure.

Things I had NO idea I would be dealing with when potty-training a two-year-old:

• Intense fear of the automated flush-toilets in public restrooms
• Intense fear of the hand dryers in public restrooms
• Musical potty - the inability of the child to decide whether to use the child potty or the "big potty"
• Being cheered on by my daughter when I used the bathroom
• The crazy comments I would hear

To elaborate, E screams like you are trying to kill her if there are hand dryers in the bathroom. She has now begun calmly stating, "We don't use the dryer," instead, which is a relief. However, the flush toilets cannot be bargained with. She abandoned my mother in a public bathroom when the automatic flush activated while Mom was still using the toilet. E unlocked the stall and left my mother, pants around ankles, with the stall standing wide open.

She alternates between using the "big potty" - the one that is generally found in bathrooms - and her training toilet. Sometimes she wants to sit on the toilet rather than the potty, which often requires some adult supervision, if not full on support. However, her interest in doing well is taking over, so we adapt. The most alarming things have been when she comes in while I'm on the toilet.

She has said the following (either to me or about her own efforts):

• "Let me see, Mama." (when I've been on the toilet)
• "Good job, Mama!" (when I get up)
• "Ooooh, that's a Biiiiig Poop!" (for her own efforts as well as... yes, mine)
• "We go pee in the potty and not on the floor." (internalizing our comments to her after she peed on her bedroom floor one night)

Overall, it's been quite a fun ride. I think she'll get better and better as we go along, and I am so glad to know we won't have two in diapers at the same time!