Week 36: Vaccination and the Can of Worms

36 Weeks
Romaine Lettuce


Wowza, what acrobatics this boy seems able to still manage in this ever-shrinking space between my ribs and pelvis! My abdomen contorts into the most unusual of shapes. As one can imagine, the sensation of my internal organs being shifted around feels less than pleasant. Hard to believe I'm a mere 28 days from the due date (which means, I could be as little as 14 days away from his arrival - barring any catastrophe). His number one job is to get chubby. He's gaining an ounce per day. He's probably about 18 inches long, maybe more. No wonder the jabs I'm getting from the inside feels so much more painful!


So, in keeping with the current, lots of new debates have sprung up over vaccinations vs. not, or on delayed schedule with some selecting-out of specific vaccines. Most of the new debates stem from the rising outbreak of the measles, a highly communicable disease that had all but been completely wiped out from the U.S. until a few years ago. First, there were one or two cases, then a few more. We're in the triple digits of new cases, which is unheard of for a disease that had supposedly been eradicated through vaccine use.


I posted something earlier today that captures pretty much how I feel about vaccinating. It follows below.

This is long. I'm sorry in advance.

I expose myself daily to the threat of death by motor vehicle accident every time I get into a car (and, in MD/NoVA/DC...I'm pretty sure the risk is higher). I also know that, despite the fact that we entrusted people who manufacture airbags in cars, I might get seriously injured by an airbag in the event of a crash (and it has recently been exposed that the #1 manufacturer of airbags has royally screwed up). I also know that my ribs might be broken if I wear a seatbelt. Regardless of these possible issues, I know that wearing a seatbelt and keeping my airbags turned on will SAVE MY LIFE if I get nailed by someone while driving on the beltway. So I do it. I do it with the expectation that the decisions of another driver put me at greater risk if I fail to protect myself from them.

I look at vaccinations the same way. I trust the science behind the diseases that are highly communicable and have been nearly eradicated from the planet, save for the few who have chosen (for whatever reason - personal, religious, medical vulnerability, or other reasons) not to vaccinate. The same science that tells me that I am 95-99% safe from acquiring a disease with potentially lethal health outcomes IF I vaccinate. Yes, I question the FDA. I know drugs get approved for reasons other than safety or public health concern. It's political, too. But, when something has been independently researched using dollars that did NOT come from any pharmaceutical company NUMEROUS times, nearly all yielding the same or similar results, I do not question the safety of the vaccines over the level of risk I am taking to go without.

I grew up in a world where there was no varicella vaccine. I had to have the chickenpox. Did I go blind? No. Did my fever fry my brain? No. Do I have scars? A few. Was I effing MISERABLE? Yes. So...I can give my child a shot that will hurt for a few seconds and keep them from being miserable AND keep them from having to deal with shingles later in life (1 in 3 people who had chickenpox go on to get shingles - so it's like the gift that keeps on giving - yay). Yeah, I'm on the side of preventing unnecessary suffering for my babies that will last into their old age. And it hasn't even been around long enough to have been critically evaluated by independent research on NEARLY the level as numerous other vaccines that have been around longer. I do it anyway. I've never had mumps, measles, or rubella. I wouldn't wish any of them on my worst enemy, so I damn sure won't risk my kids getting them. And because I know pertussis can kill babies, I got my TDap shot at 28 weeks of pregnancy because it will start my unborn's antibodies to build up and protect him until he can get his own vaccination at 6 months. Yes, I vaccinate.

I know that if I choose to take my vaccinated children to Disneyland someday, they will not expose the unvaccinated children with terminal illnesses who are there with Make-a-Wish Foundation, getting their wish to meet Cinderella. I also know that the decisions of others around me (again, for whatever reasons they may have), can potentially affect me or my children (just like the other drivers on the beltway). So I will do my utmost to inoculate my kids (and myself) against communicable disease (to get my 95% effective rate) and stay as far away from exposed individuals as possible, whenever possible, to aim for 100%.

Because, unlike choosing not to wear a seatbelt while driving in one's own car, choosing not to vaccinate could hurt someone else.

No Rest for the Weary

25 Weeks, 1 day
Cauliflower, Rutabaga, or Bag of Flour (depending on the website)


I have had to travel a bit for work lately, and it won't slow down anytime soon. In the interim, I have had the worst sleep one might imagine. People say that later in pregnancy, baby is helping mom gear up for the frequent sleep-wake cycle of newborns. But that junk doesn't usually start until later in the third trimester. I am still (for a couple weeks) in the second trimester, and I'm supposed to be enjoying this time.


Don't get me wrong, I truly do enjoy the fun wiggles and jiggles of my squirmy-worm baby. I just prefer that they not be at 3am. And, being pregnant with a third kid while managing the lives of two other kids is not exactly a cake-walk in the first place. Thus, I am about as exhausted as I have ever been, despite this time supposedly being the "easiest" or the most relaxing part of pregnancy.

Things that go BUMP in the Night...

I might be having practice contractions. That's what I call them because that's what they are. Braxton Hicks is the real name for these "practice contractions" that can start as early as the second trimester. Unfortunately, despite all the descriptions, I have absolutely no idea what contractions feel like. I liken this to the descriptions of what fetal movement might feel like. Every pregnancy, every woman, every baby is different - so those feelings that people seem so eager to describe for me are really more like descriptions of what they felt.

Here is what I feel:

• Abdominal aches, much like the stretching-ab-machine-workout feeling I described earlier, when my stomach began to grow
  
• Slight nausea (okay, not really nausea, but that feeling you get on the way down from the top of a Ferris Wheel)
  
• Mild gut discomfort (kind of like fart-cramp)
  

That's pretty much everything, in a nutshell. I know it isn't much to go on, but I also know it isn't "the real thing" because I haven't needed to go to the hospital, and it typically goes away within a couple of minutes. The most annoying part of it is that it happens primarily at night, when normal people like to be asleep. Sometimes it wakes me up, and I get all annoyed because then the Baby starts moving and it all prevents me from falling right back to sleep. Usually Baby movement doesn't wake me up, so this is something else I get to enjoy!

My dear husband... I cannot talk with him about the physical ailments of pregnancy because he believes every little tweak will result in a trip to the hospital. It's always the first question out of his mouth: "Is this a 'We need to go to the hospital' kind of ouch, or what?" At least I know that when the time comes, he'll be ready!

A Little Too Grabby

It is now Week 30-6 (tomorrow marks off a full 31 weeks). Baby has consistently kicked and wiggled and squirmed, but now a new activity has begun. Baby got grabby. I'm sitting there, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I feel intense discomfort in my ... well, my bladder, I guess. Not like a "gotta go" sensation. This is like if a little pinchy buggar decided to see what bladder feels like from the top side. I assume this is what occurred. Baby has been pinching and grasping all sorts of parts inside there. Mostly I notice when my bladder begins to tingle. It doesn't exactly hurt - it's more of an uncomfortable feeling, kind of like a low-voltage shock.

At any rate, I'm really ready for this habit to cease. Feet are still in the ribs, I still have the occasional soreness from sciatica, and now there's this. Pinchy McGhee better settle down. As my friend in Virginia states it, some of these little fetal movements plead a good case for child abuse. The good news is, I can push back when Baby pushes on me. S/he isn't going anywhere and can really just push right back at me or (hopefully) stop doing whatever it was that annoyed me in the first place.

Funny story: the other night, my husband decided to push on my stomach. Baby pushed back. He pushed again, and Baby pushed back. It was like a little game. Of course, this only happened for a few seconds before the Baby rolled to another direction and stopped playing. Still, it made Daddy have a nice warm fuzzy for the rest of the night. Ah, the joys of bonding!

Week 28 - Warning: Contents Under Pressure

A new development over the last week is that when I lie down at night, I can feel Baby pressing against one side of my belly. This is different from the bump-bump I feel when Baby is restless or practicing karate. This is just like what I would call a classic "fart stretch." I know I'm a redneck with no manners, but don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Babies are not shy about doing this when they are gassy. I've witnessed it firsthand numerous times. They stretch out their legs against something that can push back (presumably a caregiver's hands or legs) and just let 'er rip.

So now I feel the pressure against one side of my belly as I'm lying there about to fall asleep. And the fun part is, when I push back, I can feel Baby move away (not jerky bumps again, but really fluid movements). Baby rolls over or withdraws the offending limb from my abdominal wall. It is a RESPONSE, which I think is awesome. Until now, Baby was just a mess of arms and legs and squirms and wiggles and lacked any kind of real direction in movement. Now, there is a distinct pattern. Baby sleeps, Baby wakes and wants to play, Baby gets fussy and irritated, and Baby likes to stretch at night. It's cool!

So now entering MONTH SEVEN, I'm still feeling pretty good. I have some new, cute maternity clothes to wear. I owe some pictures to you loyal readers (all three of you) and promise to post them, maybe as an edit to this blog. I will soon have more time to be more faithful in my writing. I'm switching to shorter workdays this week (provided I don't have eighty million things to do) in order to reduce the workload and stress and prevent pre-term labor. Although, I would really appreciate "pre-term" labor at around week 37. That would be awesome.

Bumpin'

Last night, while we were lying in bed, I told Devlyn to put his hand on my stomach and feel the baby move. I joked, "Of course, once you put your hand there, the baby will probably stop moving." I was wrong.

The baby kicked Daddy about 2-3 times. I think it kind of freaked him out. But it was so exciting. I think it makes things that much more real for him, too. It's all very real to me because I get to feel the wiggles all the time. But he's only seen ultrasound pictures (which is really awesome, too). Now that he felt our little one move, I think putting the picture together with the feeling is where the magic happens.

Yes, that's you in there!

I have finally learned to recognize the wiggles as "baby wiggles" instead of gas. Hooray. So all those descriptions of fetal movement didn't really do anything but confuse me. Not to mention my mother's "It feels like you have to go to the bathroom" description.

Here's what it feels like (to me) sometimes:
* Bump-bump-bump against the inside of my abdominal wall (like knocking)
* A "squirming" sensation just above my bowel (like maybe gas still in the process of working its way down)
* A tickle on the inside (I actually laughed aloud a few minutes ago, and I'm not very ticklish)
* A feeling like you might need to burp, but when you do... you realize the feeling is much lower than your esophagus

The bottom line is, there isn't a perfect way to describe it. Not only is every fetal movement (with just the one baby I'm carrying) different, but my sensation of it is likely different from other moms-to-be, and my descriptions are as well.

The good news is, I've been feeling them for a few days now (and I can retroactively include those feelings I wasn't sure about before because I'm sure now). Historically, women have estimated their baby's date of birth at about 147 days after they first felt the baby move. By my calculations, that will put baby at 13 January (5 days late)...if that's even a reasonable estimate. Of course, I know that babies are on their own schedule.

Provided all goes well with the echocardiogram and the next few ultrasounds, I'm anticipating a healthy, full-term baby (I've been saying all along he/she will be late). The best thing ever was when I was at my OB appointment, and the nurse midwife listenend to the heartbeat with the Doppler...baby had the hiccups! I take all small victories as a sign things are going well. Who cares what the doctor said?

There is no sudden realization.

All that whining I've been doing about not feeling the baby move. I guess I thought I would just kind of know when I could feel it. It would be this special, clearly identifiable moment of clarity when I could say, "Ha! There you are!" and document the date and time.

Unfortunately, it isn't like that for the first-timer. I've been feeling little twinges and gurgles and stuff for a while (see back a few blogs). It's just really tough to distinguish regular body gurgles and baby movements. On the next go-round (if I decide to do this again someday), I'm sure I'll have that "Aha Moment" I was looking for this time, because I'll know what I'm feeling.

But really, when I lie down and am quiet (or even sitting here, as I type), I can feel a little bump, or bubble, or gurgle, or some similar feeling (not those "flutters" many people kept describing, or "the feeling that you have to pee" like my mother said). I tried really hard to focus at the ultrasound, to see if I felt anything when I saw the baby move. But the baby wasn't super active, and plus my stomach kept growling because I was on a partial fast so it overrode any other wiggles I might have noticed.

I'm kind of lazy right now, but I have twenty different ultrasound pictures to choose from. And since the baby was hiding its genitalia, I feel comfortable enough to post a few. Just not right now. The talking of food has made me hungry. Plus, it's time for dinner anyway.