I never thought my dreams were really telling me anything until the ultrasound technician showed me a winkie on the screen, and I was not the least bit surprised to see it. I have been having dreams for about the last 2 months about the sex of our unborn Deuce. I have NOT EVEN ONCE dreamt he was a girl.
However, after preparing to ship keepsake clothing to my mom and donate the rest to charity (we can't store it anywhere here, and it may be quite a while before the next kid(s) come along), I've started having doubts about getting rid of them for fear that Deuce is really a girl and everyone was wrong, or that he has a twin sister hiding in there somewhere. It is, of course, ridiculous, and I'm trying not to go nuts about it. But there is something painful and final about packing away all of your baby girl's clothes that she can no longer wear and NOT save it for a future sibling.
I am really having a hard time letting this all go.
I am excited about my boy, though. Luckily, we chose not to find out the sex of our firstborn, so we have plenty of unisex stuff to get us started, and I feel good about being able to use that stuff. I am also quite unashamed to ask for free clothes from other families with older male children who don't need their baby clothes anymore.
But the bottom line remains. I am certain I know how the mother feels when she sends those baby clothes away. Wow, what an intense feeling!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Exploring my inner hippie
You can't braid my armpit hair because there is none. I don't make my own granola because I tend to eat sugary cereals and "field hand breakfast" (eggs, bacon, toast, grits, yum). I don't recycle because there's not a recycling company that will pick up the recycling in my neighborhood, but there is a dump less than a mile away. I use disposable diapers, disposable razors, paper towels, and I get plastic grocery bags at the store because (more often than not) I forget my re-usable grocery bags at home or in the back of the car.
However, I'm considering something even "hippier" than ever before: homebirth. Okay, okay, it's only considered off the grid because so many women have been trained over the course of their lifetimes to view hospital births (or even birthing center births) as the only acceptable, clean, healthy way to have a baby. Arguments on the pro side of hospitals and birthing centers are:
On the flip side, you can be born into water that is the same temperature as Mom's body, pulled up into her arms and cuddled right away, where you can nurse and be happy and cozy for a few minutes at least before they have to do all that measuring and vital sign checking and junk. Slightly less traumatic, right?
But we live in Alaska now. And our baby is due to be born in early February. It will still be cold (and that is an understatement), and my major concern is how quickly our firstborn arrived. Second children come faster. What if we don't make it to the hospital?
So that is when the idea of homebirth popped into my head. And I can do a home waterbirth because tubs can be rented for about $350, I can have whoever I want in the room, I can be in my own familiar surroundings with my own familiar germs (and nobody else's!), and go crawl into MY bed (which is a sleep-number bed, by the way) after birthing my child. No flustering of random nurses or attending physicians to come check out the damage done by putting in a fetal monitor that came out halfway through the birth, cutting me on the way out. No blasts of cold air from the door being fanned at every opportunity with the in-and-out of all the random people. No lights, sounds, machines, etc. Just our home sounds, which our unborn child will be familiar with already after having lived there (muffled by the amniotic fluid) for the past several months.
It is a lot to think about, but after doing some checking up with my provider, I think homebirth is covered under our insurance. How neat.
However, I'm considering something even "hippier" than ever before: homebirth. Okay, okay, it's only considered off the grid because so many women have been trained over the course of their lifetimes to view hospital births (or even birthing center births) as the only acceptable, clean, healthy way to have a baby. Arguments on the pro side of hospitals and birthing centers are:
- You are close to (or co-located with) immediate emergency medical services, should the need arise
- You have access to medications and services that cannot be provided to you at home
- You don't have to get halfway through trying to push, only to realize that you need medical help to get that baby out (and then have to get in the car to go to the hospital)
- Hospitals are cleaner than your house (okay, well definitely cleaner than my house!)
- "Sterile" environment still may cause exposure to germs from other sick people in the hospital
- Environment is not comfortable (even if they try to make the rooms more "homey" by adding soft colors and wood paneling)
- You don't get the rest you need because there is too much activity in the room/hallway
- Sometimes medical interventions happen because the on-call OB is too busy to wait for you to have your baby in the time it takes to have your baby (not because there is a medical need for it)
On the flip side, you can be born into water that is the same temperature as Mom's body, pulled up into her arms and cuddled right away, where you can nurse and be happy and cozy for a few minutes at least before they have to do all that measuring and vital sign checking and junk. Slightly less traumatic, right?
But we live in Alaska now. And our baby is due to be born in early February. It will still be cold (and that is an understatement), and my major concern is how quickly our firstborn arrived. Second children come faster. What if we don't make it to the hospital?
So that is when the idea of homebirth popped into my head. And I can do a home waterbirth because tubs can be rented for about $350, I can have whoever I want in the room, I can be in my own familiar surroundings with my own familiar germs (and nobody else's!), and go crawl into MY bed (which is a sleep-number bed, by the way) after birthing my child. No flustering of random nurses or attending physicians to come check out the damage done by putting in a fetal monitor that came out halfway through the birth, cutting me on the way out. No blasts of cold air from the door being fanned at every opportunity with the in-and-out of all the random people. No lights, sounds, machines, etc. Just our home sounds, which our unborn child will be familiar with already after having lived there (muffled by the amniotic fluid) for the past several months.
It is a lot to think about, but after doing some checking up with my provider, I think homebirth is covered under our insurance. How neat.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Au naturale ala aqua?
Two things have been floating around in my head lately.
1. Should I have a totally natural (i.e., medication-free) birth?
2. Should I consider a water birth?
The hospital here on base has LDRP rooms, which means "Labor, Delivery, Recovery, and Postpartum." This basically means that the room I go into from the beginning is mine until I leave the hospital. Many hospitals have LDR but you have to go to a different room after the baby is born and cleaned up and given vitamin K and eye goop, and all that. Another thing the hospital here has is a birthing tub. You can labor in the tub and then get out to deliver (the last hospital I was in for my firstborn was this way). But the difference here is, if you want to HAVE the baby in the tub, you can do that.
The major thing about doing a water birth is (once you get past the idea that you could potentially be sitting in your own "juices" for a while), you absolutely CANNOT do this with pain medication. Although, from some of the research I've done, the water causes such relaxation in the mother that meds are not often required anyway.
The American Pregnancy Association had this to say about water birth: "Water seems to alleviate stress-related hormones, allowing the mother’s body to produce endorphins, which are pain-inhibitors."
Other websites I've found are:
http://www.waterbirth.org/
http://www.gentlebirth.org/
http://www.waterbirthinfo.com/benefits.html
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lakshmi_bertram.html
The other thing I've been thinking about is drug-free. I had an epidural with my first, and it went quite well. From the very first contraction I felt until baby-in-arms was a mere 21 hours, and from epidural to birth was only five hours. Nothing slowed down, I still dilated as expected, and I only had to push for 15 minutes (which is SUPER fast for even veteran moms). However, I am considering it just because I'd like to be able to be informed and say I've done it both ways, and this or that was the way I liked better.
It will be a tough decision, but a friend (who just had a med-free birth) recommended I watch "The Business of Being Born," a documentary by none other than Ricki Lake, which is available on Netflix instant view. To join their online community of support, their website is available here.
Anyway, I have a lot to consider. Luckily, I still have a few months to consider it!
1. Should I have a totally natural (i.e., medication-free) birth?
2. Should I consider a water birth?
The hospital here on base has LDRP rooms, which means "Labor, Delivery, Recovery, and Postpartum." This basically means that the room I go into from the beginning is mine until I leave the hospital. Many hospitals have LDR but you have to go to a different room after the baby is born and cleaned up and given vitamin K and eye goop, and all that. Another thing the hospital here has is a birthing tub. You can labor in the tub and then get out to deliver (the last hospital I was in for my firstborn was this way). But the difference here is, if you want to HAVE the baby in the tub, you can do that.
The major thing about doing a water birth is (once you get past the idea that you could potentially be sitting in your own "juices" for a while), you absolutely CANNOT do this with pain medication. Although, from some of the research I've done, the water causes such relaxation in the mother that meds are not often required anyway.
The American Pregnancy Association had this to say about water birth: "Water seems to alleviate stress-related hormones, allowing the mother’s body to produce endorphins, which are pain-inhibitors."
Other websites I've found are:
http://www.waterbirth.org/
http://www.gentlebirth.org/
http://www.waterbirthinfo.com/benefits.html
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lakshmi_bertram.html
The other thing I've been thinking about is drug-free. I had an epidural with my first, and it went quite well. From the very first contraction I felt until baby-in-arms was a mere 21 hours, and from epidural to birth was only five hours. Nothing slowed down, I still dilated as expected, and I only had to push for 15 minutes (which is SUPER fast for even veteran moms). However, I am considering it just because I'd like to be able to be informed and say I've done it both ways, and this or that was the way I liked better.
It will be a tough decision, but a friend (who just had a med-free birth) recommended I watch "The Business of Being Born," a documentary by none other than Ricki Lake, which is available on Netflix instant view. To join their online community of support, their website is available here.
Anyway, I have a lot to consider. Luckily, I still have a few months to consider it!
Monday, August 23, 2010
A "dark" dawning thought
It just occurred to me; I will be giving birth to my child in the Arctic winter. I didn't have postpartum depression last time, but that doesn't mean I'm immune to it. Especially when there will be so, so little daylight in February.
In early February, the sun will rise at approximately 9:30am and set at approximately 4:30pm. If I'm reading this daylight chart correctly. Other websites show somewhere between 5 and 6 1/2 hours of daylight in early February.
Either way, I should probably learn more about ways to combat seasonal affective disorder (SAD) that are safe for new moms and new babies. I need to figure out if having a UV-lamp in the house is okay. Ah, the joys of Alaska living!
In early February, the sun will rise at approximately 9:30am and set at approximately 4:30pm. If I'm reading this daylight chart correctly. Other websites show somewhere between 5 and 6 1/2 hours of daylight in early February.
Either way, I should probably learn more about ways to combat seasonal affective disorder (SAD) that are safe for new moms and new babies. I need to figure out if having a UV-lamp in the house is okay. Ah, the joys of Alaska living!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Bump-di-bump
Ah, sixteen weeks. Deuce is a-kicking quite frequently now, and I forgot how surreal and somewhat unnerving it can be until one gets accustomed to the feeling again. Equally unnerving is how prone to sudden bouts of nausea and (sometimes) vomiting I am even this late in the pregnancy. Hopefully this week's checkup will assist with some of the questions I have about it. More to follow, once I learn something.
Indeed, it is time to be excited about the coming little one. Now that fetal movement is noticeable and more often than once a day, I can feel pretty good about the development going on inside my growing tummy. Unfortunately, it isn't yet to the point of doing "kick counts" and other monitoring that is adviseable in later pregnancy. Still, it's something to cheer about.
Not so much the growing belly and shouts from relatives and friends to see pictures posted on Facebook. Cut it out. Please.
Indeed, it is time to be excited about the coming little one. Now that fetal movement is noticeable and more often than once a day, I can feel pretty good about the development going on inside my growing tummy. Unfortunately, it isn't yet to the point of doing "kick counts" and other monitoring that is adviseable in later pregnancy. Still, it's something to cheer about.
Not so much the growing belly and shouts from relatives and friends to see pictures posted on Facebook. Cut it out. Please.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Sixteen Candles
Sixteen weeks tomorrow, and I am still experiencing "the sickness." This was the sixth time I disposed of a meal I really wanted. And it wasn't eggs this time, although I've discovered "Deuce" really does not like eggs. It was mac-and-cheese this time. One of my favorites. Sigh....
Some things I've learned about this pregnancy:
Lots of friends and acquaintances have had babies recently, and it makes me (sometimes) wish we'd stepped up our game a little and had our bundle a little sooner as well. Our first will be three before Deuce arrives, which makes the age gap a little less than ideal for me. However, she may also be mature enough to handle the arrival a little better than, say, a two- to two-and-a-half-year-old might.
I've also started breaking out the maternity wear. It kind of happened suddenly, the need to wear maternity pants. This is not so far-fetched as it might seem. Around 15-16 weeks is the beginning of a growth spurt for the baby. It goes from being only 3 inches long (crown to rump) to 4 1/2 inches long in just a week or two. By the time the spurt is over (around week 20), baby will be 6 1/2 inches crown to rump, and about 10 inches head to toe! Take a look at Baby Center's picture for a Week 16 baby. In sticking with the tradition of comparing the developing fetus to various items in the produce aisle, this week Deuce is about the size of an avocado.
Also, because I'm in the military I get maternity uniforms to borrow for the duration of the pregnancy. I picked those up last week and will start wearing them to work tomorrow. It's really unfortunate I'm not allowed to wear just the pants. My regular uniform shirt isn't really snug or ill-fitting yet, but the maternity top looks like a tent. Uniform regulations require that I wear the pants and top together, though. So I'll be wearing a tent until baby Deuce fills it out. Which, if memory serves, won't take long. Even though weeks 16-20 only span about one month, that is the duration of one of the biggest growth spurts for the baby, and usually when the "bump" turns into a tell-tale "belly."
I'm actually excited about that part.
Some things I've learned about this pregnancy:
- Exhaustion lasts beyond the first trimester if you've got a lot going on
- Don't feel bad if you feel "fat" more than pregnant or if your stomach sticks out more than the lower gut (where the baby is) - it's because as the baby grows, your intestines get pushed up (and out) to make more room for baby; hence, the larger stomach area (and larger waist)
- If the baby doesn't want it, you can't have it (even if you want it)
- Exercise is SO important to help with the fatigue (burning energy makes more)
- Fruit and water in copious amounts STILL may not prevent constipation
- It's NOT okay to drink Senna tea (AKA laxative tea) - even though it works!
- It's okay to take Metamucil
- It's okay to take Glucosamine
- It's okay to take Calcium supplements
- It's okay if you feel old while taking a small handful of very large pills (seriously, like my grandma)
- Probably best to take all those at night along with the prenatal vitamin to avoid stomach upset
Lots of friends and acquaintances have had babies recently, and it makes me (sometimes) wish we'd stepped up our game a little and had our bundle a little sooner as well. Our first will be three before Deuce arrives, which makes the age gap a little less than ideal for me. However, she may also be mature enough to handle the arrival a little better than, say, a two- to two-and-a-half-year-old might.
I've also started breaking out the maternity wear. It kind of happened suddenly, the need to wear maternity pants. This is not so far-fetched as it might seem. Around 15-16 weeks is the beginning of a growth spurt for the baby. It goes from being only 3 inches long (crown to rump) to 4 1/2 inches long in just a week or two. By the time the spurt is over (around week 20), baby will be 6 1/2 inches crown to rump, and about 10 inches head to toe! Take a look at Baby Center's picture for a Week 16 baby. In sticking with the tradition of comparing the developing fetus to various items in the produce aisle, this week Deuce is about the size of an avocado.
Also, because I'm in the military I get maternity uniforms to borrow for the duration of the pregnancy. I picked those up last week and will start wearing them to work tomorrow. It's really unfortunate I'm not allowed to wear just the pants. My regular uniform shirt isn't really snug or ill-fitting yet, but the maternity top looks like a tent. Uniform regulations require that I wear the pants and top together, though. So I'll be wearing a tent until baby Deuce fills it out. Which, if memory serves, won't take long. Even though weeks 16-20 only span about one month, that is the duration of one of the biggest growth spurts for the baby, and usually when the "bump" turns into a tell-tale "belly."
I'm actually excited about that part.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Thirteen-five with some un-fun attributes
Amnesia. That is what people say women have when they choose to have another baby. I say, it's what you have during the pregnancy with the second baby. I didn't forget what everything was like UNTIL I got pregnant. I forgot that my morning sickness lasted into the fourteenth week (THANK YOU BLOG), and I forgot that I had gotten to actually SEE my little one at 12 weeks and not just hear a heartbeat. Trying not to be too sad about that one.
We will get to see Deuce on September 13. It seems like forever but it won't be long. I am pretty excited about that day, though. And getting pictures!!!
One thing that is happening now that did not happen last time is the perpetual constipation and, um, hemorrhoids that go along with it. I feel like an old woman. I feel like crying when I have to poop. Sometimes I do. I eat whole grains and cereals, fresh fruits and veggies, and drink copious amounts of water. All to no avail. The website I mainly go to for information, BabyCenter, has a tendency to make me nervous about bleeding and that I should call my practitioner immediately. At ten o'clock at night!
Some other helpful (or not) advice I've seen is that I should not lift my 30+ pound toddler anymore. Wow. Someone should have told me that I would have to be a negligent mother to my first-born in order to have a second-born. I feel so terrible! How could I not pick up and squeeze my little cutie?
For the most part, I think discretion is everything. As in, leave it to your own. If you feel weird about something, ask someone. If you feel okay, why stress over it if someone else says it's not okay? Who makes other moms the subject-matter-experts on anything but themselves and their own pregnancies? Now, if your doctor or midwife says, "Um, NO," then I would probably resist the temptation to be defiant. But these websites are not created by doctors. The good idea fairy bit one of them who said, "You know what we should do? Make a website for pregnant women and new moms." Thus, the website is born. Now, professionals do consult on these sites, so all the information is not invalid. However, you will find that some vast portions of medical information are cut-and-pasted directly from WebMD or other reputable sites.
So it's still not a hundred percent fun being pregnant yet. I'm sure the second trimester (which will be here in just a few days) will lead to a wonderful change in my mood, my overall wellbeing, and my outlook. For now, I keep checking for movement (I think I have actually felt it already since I know what I'm looking for), and trying to "feel" pregnant as much as possible. Other than not being able to fasten my pants anymore.
We will get to see Deuce on September 13. It seems like forever but it won't be long. I am pretty excited about that day, though. And getting pictures!!!
One thing that is happening now that did not happen last time is the perpetual constipation and, um, hemorrhoids that go along with it. I feel like an old woman. I feel like crying when I have to poop. Sometimes I do. I eat whole grains and cereals, fresh fruits and veggies, and drink copious amounts of water. All to no avail. The website I mainly go to for information, BabyCenter, has a tendency to make me nervous about bleeding and that I should call my practitioner immediately. At ten o'clock at night!
Some other helpful (or not) advice I've seen is that I should not lift my 30+ pound toddler anymore. Wow. Someone should have told me that I would have to be a negligent mother to my first-born in order to have a second-born. I feel so terrible! How could I not pick up and squeeze my little cutie?
For the most part, I think discretion is everything. As in, leave it to your own. If you feel weird about something, ask someone. If you feel okay, why stress over it if someone else says it's not okay? Who makes other moms the subject-matter-experts on anything but themselves and their own pregnancies? Now, if your doctor or midwife says, "Um, NO," then I would probably resist the temptation to be defiant. But these websites are not created by doctors. The good idea fairy bit one of them who said, "You know what we should do? Make a website for pregnant women and new moms." Thus, the website is born. Now, professionals do consult on these sites, so all the information is not invalid. However, you will find that some vast portions of medical information are cut-and-pasted directly from WebMD or other reputable sites.
So it's still not a hundred percent fun being pregnant yet. I'm sure the second trimester (which will be here in just a few days) will lead to a wonderful change in my mood, my overall wellbeing, and my outlook. For now, I keep checking for movement (I think I have actually felt it already since I know what I'm looking for), and trying to "feel" pregnant as much as possible. Other than not being able to fasten my pants anymore.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)