Stre-e-e-e-etch!

Abdominal muscles are pretty amazing. They can be super-tight and prevent a person from feeling the little one when he/she is engaged in acrobatics in the womb. They can also be super-stretchy and expand (maybe even to the point of splitting) when baby grows all huge. Now, poke out your stomach and hold it for as long as you can stand. Feel that burn? That would be what it feels like, only I can't release that muscle. It's in constant flex right now to make extra room for baby. Ouch!

I'm handling it pretty well for the most part.

The other thing is, the round ligaments that support the uterus are also being stretched. This causes some rather sharp pains, particularly at night when I roll over. It often wakes me up if my husband doesn't when he tries to push me back onto my left side. FYI, sleeping on the left side is good for baby because it maximizes the amount of blood flow (oxygen, nutrients, life force) from mom.

I keep working out as much as possible, but sometimes things interfere (like the pool being closed indefinitely for repairs, or the aerobics instructor deciding not to show up to class). Having a backup plan for these days is the smart thing to do, but alas, I'm not so smart. Exercise is good for all these pains I'm having, though. And it keeps me from gaining weight too quickly (which I feel like I might be doing now) - finally gaining weight, and I still have to complain!

The really funny thing is that if I get super-excited (maybe during a highly-emotive football game) baby does too. So now all those stretches and burning sensations on the outside are mirrored with some little pokes and jabs from the inside. Gotta love it!

Pictures

After all this time, here's the 19 Weeks Ultrasound photo update. I had about twenty to choose from, but ultimately, these were the best two. And I'm not trying to make it take all day to upload.

Baby's facial profile, with a little hand waving hello. Or just hanging out up there.


This little foot is already almost one inch long!

So there they are. You can guess all you want about whether it's a boy or girl, but if the technician couldn't tell, neither can YOU. Haha!

Yes, that's you in there!

I have finally learned to recognize the wiggles as "baby wiggles" instead of gas. Hooray. So all those descriptions of fetal movement didn't really do anything but confuse me. Not to mention my mother's "It feels like you have to go to the bathroom" description.

Here's what it feels like (to me) sometimes:
* Bump-bump-bump against the inside of my abdominal wall (like knocking)
* A "squirming" sensation just above my bowel (like maybe gas still in the process of working its way down)
* A tickle on the inside (I actually laughed aloud a few minutes ago, and I'm not very ticklish)
* A feeling like you might need to burp, but when you do... you realize the feeling is much lower than your esophagus

The bottom line is, there isn't a perfect way to describe it. Not only is every fetal movement (with just the one baby I'm carrying) different, but my sensation of it is likely different from other moms-to-be, and my descriptions are as well.

The good news is, I've been feeling them for a few days now (and I can retroactively include those feelings I wasn't sure about before because I'm sure now). Historically, women have estimated their baby's date of birth at about 147 days after they first felt the baby move. By my calculations, that will put baby at 13 January (5 days late)...if that's even a reasonable estimate. Of course, I know that babies are on their own schedule.

Provided all goes well with the echocardiogram and the next few ultrasounds, I'm anticipating a healthy, full-term baby (I've been saying all along he/she will be late). The best thing ever was when I was at my OB appointment, and the nurse midwife listenend to the heartbeat with the Doppler...baby had the hiccups! I take all small victories as a sign things are going well. Who cares what the doctor said?

There is no sudden realization.

All that whining I've been doing about not feeling the baby move. I guess I thought I would just kind of know when I could feel it. It would be this special, clearly identifiable moment of clarity when I could say, "Ha! There you are!" and document the date and time.

Unfortunately, it isn't like that for the first-timer. I've been feeling little twinges and gurgles and stuff for a while (see back a few blogs). It's just really tough to distinguish regular body gurgles and baby movements. On the next go-round (if I decide to do this again someday), I'm sure I'll have that "Aha Moment" I was looking for this time, because I'll know what I'm feeling.

But really, when I lie down and am quiet (or even sitting here, as I type), I can feel a little bump, or bubble, or gurgle, or some similar feeling (not those "flutters" many people kept describing, or "the feeling that you have to pee" like my mother said). I tried really hard to focus at the ultrasound, to see if I felt anything when I saw the baby move. But the baby wasn't super active, and plus my stomach kept growling because I was on a partial fast so it overrode any other wiggles I might have noticed.

I'm kind of lazy right now, but I have twenty different ultrasound pictures to choose from. And since the baby was hiding its genitalia, I feel comfortable enough to post a few. Just not right now. The talking of food has made me hungry. Plus, it's time for dinner anyway.

Shot Through the Heart

I saw eleventy-billion pictures of my baby yesterday. Moving, kicking, squirming, and hiding its face with crossed arms. And hiding its sex with crossed legs (so THERE...baby doesn't want to be identified).

But they saw something on the ultrasound they didn't like. My brilliant husband noticed it too, and he immediately asked, "What is that bright spot in the baby's heart?" The ultrasound technician sort of waived it off as if it were nothing, but then the doctor called us back in.

The bright white was a calcium deposit, known as an Echogenic Intracardiac Focus, or EIF. He said that EIF is a fetal marker for Down Syndrome. Although I had the blood test a few weeks ago and it came up normal, those tests tend to miss approximately 20% of all known cases. We have the option of doing an amniocentesis (where they stick a large needle through my abdomen and draw some of the amniotic fluid around the baby) to get an accurate reading and know for sure, but the risk includes miscarriage at a rate of 1 in 200. The risk of actually having DS is about the same, maybe a little higher. My question is, what would knowing do for us? It wouldn't change the diagnosis, and it certainly wouldn't change our decision to keep our baby. So to me, it isn't worth the risk.

The other thing that was noted on the baby's heart was what is known as a Ventricular Septal Defect, or VSD. This is basically a hole in baby's heart in the muscle between the left and right ventricles. It means very little now because all of the baby's blood is being filtered by my heart. But after birth, the oxygenated blood will mix with and displace the de-oxygenated blood, causing some potentially long-term problems. The problem could fix itself, or baby might need surgery before the age of two. That is more of a wait-and-see thing. Here's a picture of normal versus not normal:



Here's hoping that hole they saw isn't very large (really, what is 3mm in the grand scheme of things?) and that it will repair itself.

I am scheduled for another ultrasound in two weeks, this time with a greater focus on the heart. I was just so excited to see it beating, that I don't even care about anything else.

Ultrasound tomorrow...dare I post pictures?

Ultrasound number two is tomorrow morning, and I'm really excited to see how much the baby has grown. Maybe I can watch the movements on screen and feel them as well (so I'll know what I'm feeling for). People's descriptions so far have not been helpful in my determining whether that was a baby movement or a bowel gurgle.

The really unfortunate thing is, my husband and I have decided to make the baby's sex surprise, but someone very close to us is trying to ruin that. I am worried that if I post pictures of the baby, this unnamed person will try (as threatened) to get someone else to determine the sex. The reasoning is "to make shopping easier" for everyone.

How about the fact that the parents (Devlyn and me) don't want to find out the sex. And if we don't find out, NOBODY finds out. What's so wrong with wanting it to be a surprise? So many things are unsurprising these days. I've known practically since the day I missed my period that I was pregnant. I've seen what the baby looks like already. I have everything picked out for the baby's room. We even have names picked out (but I'm not telling).

Why can't my wishes be considered? Why can't this person just let me decide how I want my pregnancy to go? If I want it to be a surprise, then dammit, EVERYONE will be surprised.

So, until I get confirmation from that person that they won't try to usurp my parenthood authority or go behind my back to determine the sex and then tell everyone what to buy, nobody gets to see pictures.

Utah is too hot

So I went to Utah with my soon-to-be-deployed friend Veronica, in an effort to transport her vehicle and donate it to her twin sister.

It's too hot in Utah for pregnant people. Thank you, that is all.

Giggles, Wiggles, Flutters, and Farts

So a day or two ago, I felt a little "flutter" and was thinking..."YES, this is it!!! I can finally feel the baby moving." But then I pooted. And I sadly realized it was only gas. But, what if the baby was on my bowel and rolled off to allow the air to escape?

I am now beginning Week 18. Some websites say only the overweight moms can't feel their babies move by Week 20. My darling husband said, "I think today's going to be the day." I hope he doesn't have to say it again tomorrow and the next day!

I still poke a finger in my belly periodically to see if I can get a reaction. So far, nothing. This must be the most difficult part of pregnancy. I can't feel the baby move, I don't feel sick, and when I lie down I don't even look pregnant. But my belly is still growing, so unless I'm like Violet Beauregard from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and I need to be "juiced" - I think there's still a growing baby in there.

And I haven't chewed any funky-looking gum given to me by a stranger recently.