Pregnancy and Parenthood for Dummies

A time for milestones

2011-09-03T07:54:00.000-07:00

My six-month, 24-day old son has now learned to clap his hands. He's about 2 months ahead of where his sister was on this development. He has also (for about 2 weeks now) been rolling over from back to front. Unfortunately, he hasn't quite learned to roll the other way consistently, so he frequently rolls over in the middle of the night and gets frustrated because he cannot roll back. Persistent grunting turns into crying, and that means I get to leave my warm comfy bed (sometimes SEVERAL TIMES) during the night. Part of that could also be teething-related; something he's also doing a couple months in advance of his sister, who got her first tooth at 8 months.

We've also begun trying solids. Apart from the oatmeal and rice cereal the pediatrician recommended for iron supplementation, he's now tasted squash (and LOVED it), carrots (which stain worse than blood - I recommend getting Shout! or another stain remover), peas, and green beans (which he equally detests). He has also had applesauce (and I'm not sure if he really likes it because he makes the same "yuck" face he makes with green veggies). Still, he's a super kid and continues to eat it despite the "yuck" face. Unfortunately, with solids comes the end of those cute breast-fed baby poops. They aren't horrifying yet, but they will be getting worse and worse as the consistency of the foods he tries increases.

My three-year, 8-month-old daughter can write nearly all the letters of the alphabet on her Magna-doodle. She talks herself through the process, which is not only adorable, but also lets us know what type of learner she is. Saying things aloud while doing them means she is an auditory learner. Just like her daddy! "So the P is a line down, and a loop on the side!"

Naps continue to be a struggle with her, but she managed to take one 3 days in a row at our daycare provider's home. The provider did a mock-phone call to us as a fear inducer. She really wants to please us, so she went right to sleep. I think this only had to be done once, with reminders the next two days ("Remember, I will call Mommy and Daddy to tell them you aren't sleeping..."). Of course, she knows that if she DOES sleep, she gets to watch one of her favorite cartoons when she gets home, before dinner. As parents, we actually HATE it when we can't reward her for making good choices. The cartoon thing is also a way to keep her occupied while we make dinner in the evening. Of course, our little girl does love to help. And helping is perfectly okay for a 3 1/2-year-old to handle.

She can set the table (one dish at a time), place out the silverware, take empty cups over, etc. After dinner, she helps with clean-up. Now that she is no longer terrified of our Dust-Buster, we let her use it to get the crumbs off our hardwood floor under the table each night. Usually it's her mess anyway. She also helps clear the dishes (she's still too short to place items in the sink, and letting her throw them in has already ended in 2 broken dishes) - she brings them to one of us, who is already sink-side.

Starting them early on routine house maintenance and the concepts of cleaning up what we mess up will help keep us from having an infuriating teen-ager who does nothing. At least, that's the hope!

Rice is nice.

2011-07-04T14:34:00.000-07:00

Today, little J (who is a few days shy of his 5-month-birthday) had a few bites of rice cereal mixed with breast milk. His face was just precious. He very happily opened his mouth when the spoon came near it, but the first bite was quite obviously not what he expected. There was some blowback. The next few bites went a little better, and he became a little chow-hound. It got to the point where I apparently was not fast enough with the spooning, so he tried to help expedite by grabbing the spoon. This served only to dump its contents into my lap. He quickly got angry. We opted to "boob him up" for the rest of this feeding.

He has been physiologically ready for solids for about a month now, but since he was gaining weight at a very decent pace (95th percentile) I felt it unnecessary to introduce rice cereal. In addition, J may (or may not) be our last baby, so there is a very unique desire to keep him a baby for longer. Since he sat unsupported at 20 weeks (we have to put him there, but he can stay up pretty well), it was time. Unfortunately, he cannot quite sit in a high chair or anything so solids will definitely wait until at least the recommended six months.

Am I going bald?

2011-05-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

So you've had a baby about three months ago. Your body has recovered pretty much to the point it was before you got pregnant (although your abdomen may appear otherwise). Your muscles may still be a bit weak in the abdominal wall, and you may have some extra flab, but for the most part your body functions have resumed "normal" activity. Of course, if you are breastfeeding, there is that major change, too. One thing you may be experiencing now (like I am) is hair loss. A lot of hair loss.

This seemingly unnatural and excessive evacuation of hair from your head is due to the growth cycles being disrupted during pregnancy and not (let me repeat, NOT) from breastfeeding. Your hair passes through a three-phase life cycle: anagen (growth phase) - which can last an average of three years, catagen (transition phase), and telogen (resting phase) - which lasts from 1 to 6 months with an average of 3 months. Normally, about 85 to 95 percent of the hair on your head is growing and the other 5 to 15 percent is in a resting stage. After the resting period, this hair falls out — usually while you're brushing, washing, or otherwise agitating it — and is replaced by new growth. The new (anagen) hairs actually push the old (telogen) hairs out of the follicle. During a normal, non-pregnant, non-postpartum time of your life, you'd lose about 100 hairs per day.

During pregnancy, the boost of estrogen extends the normal growth phase of the cycle so that more and more of your hair is growing rather than resting. Hence the thick, sexy hair you had while pregnant. Once you give birth, estrogen levels plummet. Of course, about 3 months postpartum (on average), the telogen (resting) phase has completed and progressed back to anogen (growth)... and the hair falls out of your head seemingly all at once. Hair may come out in clumps, or you look at your brush and it's furry, or your shower drain has to be snaked almost daily... personally, I feel like I could make at least one wig from all the hair on my bathroom floor right now.

There's more. Hair texture, color, and level of oiliness or dryness could change postpartum as well. If you had wavy hair before, it might be stick-straight now. It could be super-oily when it used to be on the dry side. It could be coarse when it was once baby-fine. You really get all kinds of surprises along with the gift of motherhood.

The good news is, sometime between 6 months and 1 year postpartum everything goes back to normal. Your hair resumes its normal growth cycle, texture, etc. However, if you still notice a lot of these changes beyond your baby's first birthday, you could be iron deficient (also a common postpartum ailment). Your health care provider can prescribe a supplement if necessary. Another possibility is hypothyroidism (low thyroid hormone) - another fairly common postpartum condition that can easily be remedied by your health care provider. If you are concerned, the doctor's office is your first resource for help.

WHAT TO DO:

Experiment with your hair. Try a shorter haircut or a textured one, cut some bangs (to minimize the appearance of the whispy baby-hair along your forehead), or use a wash-and-go method rather than excessively styling.
Try some different hair care products that bulk up the hair.
Change your comb/brush to one that is less likely to tug and stress the hair (wider-tooth combs are better during this time).
If you have long hair, check your baby OFTEN for one of your hairs wrapped tightly around the baby's toes, fingers, or (yes, even) penis. This is called a "hair tourniquet" and can be very painful to your little one. If he or she is crying and you've already done the typical feeding, diapering, and fatigue checks, this should be the very next thing you look for.

I'm holding out for sometime between three and nine months from now. Until then, I just know I have to clean the bathroom a bit more often than I enjoy.

Relocation

2011-05-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

We are a military family. For those who don't know, one of the biggest challenges faced ROUTINELY by military families is the instability created from frequent moves. Often, these moves can be from one side of the country, or even the world, to the other. In the last two years, we have had a deployment, a move from Washington to Georgia, and a move from Georgia to Alaska. Now, we are scheduled to move from Alaska to Maryland in a matter of days. The impact of such changes can be brutal to a child.

For example, our daughter was (sort of) potty trained while we lived in Georgia. Then, somewhere between packing up, spending time in North Carolina and Virginia with relatives, and driving across half the US and Canada before arriving in (no kidding) North Pole, Alaska, she became "untrained" all over again. It took months to recover, and she still has some inexplicable and VERY preventable accidents. Case in point, about a month ago, she stated she needed to use the potty, then proceded to stand in front of it on her stool with her pants down, and pee on herself rather than just SIT DOWN on the toilet that was touching the back of her thighs as she stood there. Infuriating!

This next move will be no less than a logistical nightmare. We have two cats, two children, two adults, a car, and a house full of stuff to move over 4,000 miles. We are splitting the family to accommodate all of our needs as best we can. My husband and daugther will go first, with the cats, house-hunting and visiting with all our east-coast relatives. The baby boy and I will remain behind to tie up loose ends and so I can continue to nurse him. I also must face the incredibly challenging, expensive, and yet important task of shipping frozen breast milk east. It will likely cost over $100 to send a mere 48 ounces of frozen milk over that great distance. But it's like gold to me. I literally get teary-eyed when I have to pour out even two ounces that the boy didn't finish at daycare. Could you imagine tossing 8 full feedings' worth?

Our daughter has shown great resilience in these challenges with moving. With the exception of the pee and poop accidents (that have seemed to dwindle down to a rare occurrence - mostly due to distraction), she has been able to adapt well to all the changes. I wonder if her baby brother will be able to show the same kind of resilience? Well, he is only 3 months old. He won't remember. But she will. I wonder how she'll be able to face the loss of her friend, a little boy a few months younger than she is, whom we'll visit for the last time today?

Growing too fast!

2011-04-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

Of course. It's what they all say. But when you observe your eleven week old son licking his lips as he watches another baby being spoon-fed sweet potatoes, it definitely hits home.

He is still developmentally too young to start rice cereal mixed with breast milk, but now I am keenly aware that I will not have to struggle with the introduction of a spoon as I did with his big sister. His interest alone is enough to let me know we can start as soon as his little digestive system can handle it.

In other news, he is also sleeping a 6 hour stretch from about 9 pm till 3 am every night. I so want to push his bedtime to the right just to get his stretch to match mine, but he gets ridiculously angry with a later bedtime and wakes at 3 anyway, so we will hang tough a while longer. If our firstborn was any indication, his timeline will shift on its own soon anyway.

I am afraid if I blink, he will be three like his sister...at which point she would be six. Sigh... Too fast.

The List

2011-04-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

EUREKA!!!!

We have discovered a method that works. As mentioned in the previous blog, our 3-year-old was adamantly opposed to independently clothing herself. I should mention that creativity in parenting style is an absolute must-have. So, using my creative brain, I developed a list.

1. Wake up.
2. Use the toilet.
3. Brush teeth.
4. Get dressed.
5. Comb hair.
6. Make the bed.

It seemed a little ambitious, I know. It might be kind of hard to expect a 3-year-old to do these tasks. I went a step further and animated each item on the list with a little girl that looks kind of like my little girl. Since she can't read yet, I had to effectively demonstrate the activity being performed for each item on the list. The girl has quite a memory on her, though... so I really only had to say it once and she quickly stored it away. And HALLELUJAH, she got out of bed and did EVERY item on her list. We were ready to go in less than thirty minutes.

When I saw she checked the list before bedtime too (even though it was a wake-up list), I did the next logical thing and made a good-night list, too. This one has more steps, but I felt having a streamlined bedtime routine might be worthwhile.

1. Get undressed.
2. Put in the hamper.
3. Put on P.J.s.
4. Feed the kitties.
5. Brush teeth.
6. Use the toilet.
7. Get ONE book.
8. Good night!

Again, I animated each item so she'd know what each thing meant. I posted the wake-up list at her eye level on her bedroom door, and the good-night list at her eye level on the bathroom door. Sometimes she gets confused, or when she's trying to stall will "accidentally" do the wake-up list instead of the good-night one. And yet, the child loves structure. Who knew? I didn't. It was just a guess, and a lucky one at that.

The War for Independence

2011-03-25T15:39:00.000-07:00

I realize that much of my recent blogging has been about the Rookie in our midst. Not to omit the Firstborn from her rightful place in the blogosphere, today's piece is about her.

We have tried to instill a certain degree of autonomy in our preschooler because studies have shown that it is healthy for a child to exhibit independence in a safe home environment. Unfortunately, our child blatantly refuses to acknowledge, much less accept, this autonomy (except in those rare situations when we stress conforming to societal norms, such as exhibiting appropriate social behavior in public). While we try to educate our daughter that it is generally unacceptable to poo one's pants and subsequently remove one's socks, put them on one's hands, pick up the poop, and parade it around the house, we also have placed importance on the ability to dress and undress oneself. Too much importance, apparently, as the inherent talent most 3-year-olds possess is the ability to sense what is meaningful to parents and that they must destroy it.

Most kids her age, however, are also quite adept at removing all of their clothing (most frequently in the supermarket or other unsanctioned locales) even if their proficiency in donning clothing leaves a bit to be desired. Not so with our daughter, whose tactic remains to be either teary-eyed caterwauling or going limp when attempts are made to train her on this developmental stage.

It appears that this battle for independence is going to be hard won, but we will manage to force this autonomy upon our child just as nations force political systems on other nations. After all, it is for her own good.

Diapering options: Can of worms number two

2011-03-19T15:01:00.000-07:00

I have friends who are really environmentally conscious people. They follow every available "green" trend out there to the best of their abilities in their efforts to reduce their environmental impact. I applaud their efforts. As part of their "greenitude" they choose to diaper their little ones with cloth. All of them are SAHMs (Stay-At-Home-Moms). Why does that matter? Read on.

I am an active duty Army mom. Once I return to work and return to business as usual, I will be away from my kids for a full 12 hours per day AT LEAST. I will pump so that I may continue to breastfeed, even though I'll have to do it in bathrooms and locker rooms because there is no "nursing mom" room in my office building and I don't have a private office. This is me, doing the best for my kids. The last thing I want to do is spend the precious little time each day I have with them washing dirty diapers.

Let's look at the options. Cloth diapers pose a big up-front cost in about $15-$18 per diaper. Most starter packs of cloth diapers come in sets of one dozen. My son goes through about 10 diapers per day, maybe more or less but it's a good average. I'd need to start with two dozen just to ensure I'd have enough AND I'd be doing laundry daily just to ensure that he is able to have clean diapers while I'm washing the dirty ones. If I wait two days, I'm screwed because there won't be diapers for him while the others are being washed. Additionally, assuming I'd be using cotton, I'd be doing each load of diapers three times according to the recommended guidelines by the Real Diaper Industry Association. This is three loads of hot-water wash (probably not full loads because a dozen diapers roughly equates to as many pairs of socks in your wash), and three separate trips through the dryer. The "cha-ching" to both the water and electric companies makes me nauseated. We use cold water to wash everything but whites once per WEEK right now. Three hot-water loads per day??? Even if I were a lazier type of parent (and who isn't?) and chose only to hot-water wash them once, it's still 6 more hot water loads than we normally do.

I am too lazy to figure out how many gallons of water are used in each wash cycle or how many kilowatt hours in each wash-and-dry cycle, but we'd effectively be doubling our consumption of washing and drying each week if I went the one-wash-only route (it would quadruple our consumption if I did the three-wash-sanitizing route). Our consumption of fuel oil (which heats our home and our water heater) is currently only about 4 gallons per day, but I estimate that would probably double with all the extra use of hot water. Fuel oil costs about $4.00 per gallon where I live. I also estimate an extra $20-30 per month on our electricity bill for the energy use. Of course, we'd be doubling (or quadrupling) our detergent use as well. Then there is wear-and-tear on the washer and dryer to consider. Using it that much more frequently means I'd need to start saving up for the replacements and/or repairs. The hidden costs of cloth diapering are astounding.

So perhaps a diaper service would work to our advantage and save us those pennies for energy costs, the wear-and-tear on the washer and dryer, and all that (hot) water! They can ensure sterilization and deliver the diapers to my door. But... the AVERAGE price is $20 per week. I pay $40 a MONTH for my disposables! How is cloth diapering supposed to save me time or money?

To be fair about the inconvenience, cloth diapers have come a long way since my own infancy. Many companies offer pre-folded diapers with waterproof covers that secure with hook-and-loop or snap closures. No more folding it all up yourself or having to use a scary pin on a squirming infant. It now takes about as much time to diaper a baby in cloth as it does in disposable. Of course, if your kid is like mine, be prepared to "waste" a diaper here and there because he wasn't done with his "business" before you started the changing process.

As for the environmental impact, I read an article stating disposable diapers account for 2% of waste in the U.S. This means 98% is "something else." Additionally, disposable diaper companies (the largest being Proctor and Gamble) have come under political pressure by environmental groups and financial pressure considering the fact that the "inconvenience" has pretty much been taken out of using cloth. Now, even disposable diapers can be recycled. In uber-green states like Washington, some diaper services are now picking up used disposables and running them through the same processes they use to sanitize their cloth diapers, breaking apart disposables into recyclable components, and reducing landfill input.

The bottom line here is that MY bottom line stays in the black when I use disposables. It works for my family. When I'm away from my kids so frequently, I want as much time with them as possible. Additionally, my daycare center (which is flexible on many things) still requires the use of disposables in their centers. Since many families use cloth during the day and disposables at night or on trips (for better leak protection and to avoid having to cart around dirties), it hardly seems worth it to me to bother with cloth. The one MAJOR benefit I see to using cloth over disposables is that potty training happens faster with kids in cloth because they feel the wetness/dirtiness faster than a disposable-diaper-wearing kid would.

Ultimately, each family must come to a decision about what is important to them. SAHMs get to spend all their time (if they want) with their little ones. So, what's a few loads of laundry in the mix? No big deal. Studies have also shown that in the longer term, cloth is cheaper than disposables (mostly because of that whole early-potty-training bit; kids in disposables potty train around age three and kids in cloth do it a year earlier on average). There is no judgment here against anyone deciding to use cloth over disposable diapers. If you can do it, I think that's great. It just doesn't work for us. And within this blog, I have detailed several reasons why it doesn't work for us.

Still, I find it amazing to see that people get up in arms over these decisions about whether to use cloth or disposable, to share a bed or not share a bed, to breastfeed or bottle-feed, to use organic or homemade baby foods or buy it from a jar, to stay at home or have a job, to home school or send them off to public or private school, etc. My litmus test is my own kids. Both seem very happy and healthy. My 3-year-old is well-adjusted, socialized, has an extensive vocabulary (that often surprises many people), and enjoys life. She IS life in a 35-pound bag of meat and bones. My nearly-6-week-old is smiling at me and cooing, gaining weight at an alarming rate for a breastfed baby, and growing like a weed.

The fact that we have options is great. We can tailor our child-rearing practices to meet the needs of our families and our world. Who doesn't love that?

Co-sleeping and the can of worms

2011-03-17T13:42:00.000-07:00

The can of worms...

Everyone has an opinion about whether or not sharing a room with a newborn is wise, safe, and healthy. But I must clarify... Co-sleeping means simply sharing a room, while bed-sharing (also known as family beds) is a sub-component of rooming in. Most people think of sharing a bed when they hear co-sleeping being discussed.

Here's my opinion and why I have it. Co-sleeping (as in, rooming in) is a fantastic idea for newborns. Nursing on demand coupled with new babies and trying to get acquainted with one another, learn what their cries mean, and all that goes with newbornism make it more practical for rooming in for those early days. However, bed-sharing is an absolute no-no. I say this with the caveat that I admit to falling asleep while nursing my son in bed. However, he has never spent an entire night in our bed and neither has our daughter. Mostly it is not for the fear of suffocation or any reason that is most frequently listed by most anti-bed-sharing folks.

Simply stated, I do not want to create a monster that will take over my sleeping space. I paid a lot of money for my fantastic Sleep Number bed, and I don't want to share it with my little ones. Selfish? Not really. I have given them each their own sleeping spaces, and I want them to use it. I mean, siblings just don't get made when the other kids are sharing your bed every night. At least, not in my world.

Children are very keen on adapting to change. Good or bad. They can and will adapt to being in a different room from the parents. Just as, if given the chance to sleep in your bed every night (or even just when they are sick), they will adapt to that so that breaking the habit becomes more and more difficult. Bottom line, a five-year-old simply does not need to be in bed with his/her parents. I want my children to be individuated, independent, self-confident, etc. Although I will not say that these traits cannot be imparted among children who sleep in a "family bed," I will say it's much easier to identify these traits among kids who have their own space.

Now, if you choose to comment on this blog, be nice. This is just my opinion and why I choose this option among all child-rearing options out there. Nobody is making you do it too.

Feels like the first time.... almost.

2011-03-10T22:12:00.000-08:00

I have noted several similarities between our girl and our boy. And, despite the obvious biological difference, many other differences as well.

Our son J is already 4 weeks old. Actually, he is 4 1/2 weeks old now. At 4 weeks, he can lift his head up (which he did at two days old in the hospital). His sister did the same. Thus, I was not surprised by this (this time). He has also smiled, cooed, and gave me a full-on belly laugh which I really wish I'd caught on tape (if not for the fact that he was nursing at the time).

A major difference between our son and daughter is how exceptionally needy the boy is. He wants to be held much more than his sister. He cannot be put down for long before he is yowling to be picked up again. The baby swing, though not used nearly as much for E, has been a savior for J. Well, a savior for us so we can put J down while we do laundry or something. He was in the swing long enough for me to clean the poop out of my daughter's underwear (she had an accident at school today), but shortly after he was wailing. As of now, he is peacefully curled up against my chest as I type with the keyboard sitting atop the Boppy pillow behind him.

In similar parenting efforts, J moved to his own room last night (at about 4 1/2 weeks), just as his sister did 3 years ago when she was his age. I am thankful that the effort to do so went off well and we all got more sleep than the previous weeks. This would be a huge can of worms because everyone has his/her own opinion on it (and there is mounds of research to go either way) but I do not consider co-sleeping (as in, sleeping in the same room - NOT the same as bed-sharing) beyond one month worthwhile. I do not consider bed-sharing to be a good idea in the slightest (although I admit to subconsciously caving in to this as I have fallen asleep while nursing several times). I will address these concerns in a separate blog, but the main point here is that when co-sleeping I hear every little squeak and peep he makes. This makes my night very long and arduous and sleep is fleeting.

Delightfully, our son seems to be as charming and as curious about the world as his sister was. He also seems to be a lover of his own image in a mirror and already seems to know when a camera (or camera phone) is nearby. He will be a flirt, and I'm excited to see his personality develop. Even if he's a little needy right now.

The Packing List

2011-02-21T15:00:00.000-08:00

There are several things I wish I knew as a mother-to-be when packing for the trip to the hospital. I wish I knew the stuff I really needed and the stuff I really didn't need, for example. So here is a list of things I felt were necessary and unnecessary for the trip to have a baby.

The Stuff You Need

Lip balm
Refillable water bottle (i.e., Camelbak)
Your own pillow from home
A blackout mask (in case you can't turn off the lights in your hospital room)
Snacks for your support person (and for you, after baby is born - late night or holiday babies inconveniently show up when the cafeteria is closed)
Stuff to do (reading materials or a laptop with some movies) - for during labor and/or after baby when there are no visitors - if you are lucky, your hospital will have free wi-fi.
MATERNITY CLOTHES (you will still appear about 4 months pregnant, more or less, when you discharge from the hospital so don't think about your skinny jeans yet)
Baby clothes (a couple different sets and a couple different sizes, in case your child is larger or smaller than you anticipated)
An empty bag to carry home all the free stuff you'll get from the hospital or birthing center (including diapers, books on newborn and infant care, wipes, mommy-care items like the jumbo maternity pads, sitz bath, medications, and maybe more)
Camera with charger/batteries
Car seat (most states require it be inspected for safety before you can go home with your baby)

The Stuff You Don't Need

Nightgown from home (unless you just really want it - but it might get bloody and gross)
Candles, scented oils, or other stuff you intend to use during labor - you might not even be thinking about it at all when you are actually in labor
Toiletries (believe it or not, most hospitals and birthing centers have dental hygiene kits they'll give you and the showers have body wash and shampoo on wall-mounted dispensers) - but if you really like your own stuff, bring it
Video camera (most birthing centers and hospitals do not permit video of birth because consent is required from all people present - including nursing staff - to have them on video, and nobody has time for that during a birth)
Diapers, 15 receiving blankets, pacifiers, and other baby gear (the hospital supplies you with diapers and wipes, and you really only need one blanket for the trip home, but hats and blankets are available for baby during your stay at the hospital/birthing center)
A lot of extra stuff (remember, it all must go home with you)

Even though this isn't my first rodeo, I brought way too much stuff I didn't need and way too little of what I did.

Water Born: J's Birth Story

2011-02-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

WARNING: Graphic content.

My due date based on LMP was 1 February. They adjusted it after ultrasound to 3 February. When these days came and went, I was exceedingly discouraged. After all, my firstborn showed up at week 39! Aren't second and later children supposed to come sooner? Well, our little son J didn't come sooner, but he came faster than his big sister E.

I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions for a few days, off and on. With no real regularity and no increasing pain or intensity, I paid very little attention to them. However, on Monday morning the 7th of February, something was different. I was determined to encourage these contractions to grow. We went for walks, ran errands, tried to stay busy. By three in the afternoon I was starting to get agitated by disappointment. Was this boy ever going to make an appearance?

I decided that the BH contractions might be getting more regular and, just for kicks, started timing them around 3:30 PM. They were at first 12 minutes apart, lasting for maybe 45 seconds. In the span of maybe 45 minutes, they had regulated to 5 minute intervals, lasting a minute each. I called the L&D unit at about 4:30 to ask verification of when I should come in. The nurse who answered said, "You still sound a little perky." This is a classic sign that the nursing staff would be sending me right back home if I showed up right now. She gave the criteria: 3-4 minutes apart lasting for at least a minute with very little break in between. And painful (so I would not be "perky"). I told her I'd be there in an hour. I'm pretty sure she laughed about me with the other nurses after hanging up.

We left for the hospital and arrived about 5:45 PM. The nurse was surprised to see us. Another nurse escorted us to a room for screening. I had 2 contractions while trying to produce a urine sample. I think I came up with maybe 15 mL. Wonder what they could do with that? Finally, finally, about 6:05 PM I had a cervix check, and I was told by the nurse, "You're a 4, and I can stretch it to 5. 100% effaced." So we were admitted.

I endured yet another contraction while my dear husband searched for a room closer to the birthing tub (unfortunately the room right across the hall from it was occupied). He found one right around the corner, not too far of a walk. We then took the "stroll" to get in there. Hubby got me a fitness ball to labor on because I was having a hard time being comfortable in any position and I knew I did not want to get on the bed. Laboring on the birthing ball was nice because I could stretch out my legs and shorten the birth canal and rock back and forth. Meanwhile, hubby massaged my hips and lower back during each contraction.

Around 8:30 PM, the on-duty OB came in for another check (they won't do it more frequently than every two hours). She said she was a conservative in measuring and said 5 cm. Could be 6. Maybe. I was like, "Really? After 2 1/2 hours of all that, there was very little change!?" This was in my head, of course, because I was unable to talk much. I did ask for the ONE qualified midwife who does water birth to be notified. She was not on duty but agreed to come in. About that time, about 8:45, the water was ready. And I was ready to be in it! I was hoping for the relieving qualities I'd read about.

But, the untrained staff had overheated the water. It was 110 degrees! My legs were on fire, and I had to lean over the side while half-standing to wait for them to drain some hot water and put in some cold. It had to get to 100 or lower. 95-97 degrees is preferred. Contractions were coming like crazy by this point, and suddenly I said, "Oh, something's coming out!" It was my bag of waters, slipping out of me. My husband said it looked like my vagina blew a bubble. And then it burst. I said, "It's going to get bad in a hurry now!" And it did. They tried to do a cervix check on me then, and I couldn't move into a position favorable for them to do so. I said, "It's getting really hard not to push." I was trying every breathing technique I could think of. Probably the hardest physical thing to do in the world is resist the urge to push. They told me I had to get out of the tub. The midwife would not make it before the baby would. Someone (bless their soul) called her anyway and she told them she could be there in 10 minutes and to let me stay in the water.

Ten minutes. Is. Forever.

She arrived after what felt like an eternity of panting and puffing to avoid bearing down, and I was still holding out while she got her "goop gear" on. She turned to me and said, "You can push if you feel the urge." I said, "Oh, thank God." And I did. Between contractions, she checked and said, "Oh the head is right there." Maybe two or three inches from the outside world. I had gone from a "conservative 5 cm" to ready to rock in a half hour!

In perhaps 15 minutes (about 5 contractions with 2-3 pushes each), our son J entered the water at 9:50 PM. The umbilical cord was around his neck one time so he was under water longer than typical to get the cord off his head. He came up to the surface, and I grabbed him from the midwife and said, "My baby!" I cuddled him up to me and he opened his eyes to look around. He was beautiful and perfect. He was finally here!

I had originally said my main reason for not getting drug intervention this time (aside from the side effects) was because with my firstborn, the pain meds had worn off and I felt everything anyway. This is not entirely correct. There were residual effects of the pain medicine then because this time I truly felt everything. I admit... I am thankful for my very short time in labor. However, I can also say with certainty that the ongoing uterine contractions during the first few days postpartum is worse than the labor and birth. At least in labor you are progressing toward a goal - to have a baby. While having a nice, firm uterus postpartum is important (reduced risk of hemhorrage, getting back to a non-pregnant state faster, reducing the hormone storm, etc.), it isn't quite the momentous achievement of birth.

Because my Week 38 Group B Strep test came back positive, I was supposed to have two doses of IV antibiotics administered over 4 hours to help little J enter the world without risk of infection. Because we were at the hospital for less than 4 hours before he arrived, we obviously didn't make the cut. So we had to stay longer in the hospital than we wanted. But... how amazing a ride! A boy who was determined to stay put for as long as he wanted in utero made a decision and acted on it without a degree of hesitation... when it was time to leave, he left expeditiously!

Tick-tock...

2011-01-31T21:18:00.000-08:00

Our son is due to arrive this week, and we are quite excited about it. While his sister arrived a week early, it appears this one will not be following suit. This is perfectly okay with us, as we are about as unprepared to bring our newborn home as we could possibly be! Okay, it's not really that bad, but it could definitely be a whole lot better. We have bought diapers, but I am putting off packing a "to-go" bag. His room is set up, but he won't be sleeping in it for at least a month... meanwhile, the bed-side sleeper I bought STILL has not arrived (despite its anticipated arrival date of 21-25 January).

The second child is definitely a different expectation from the first. While I was just beside myself and eager to meet our firstborn, I am silently willing this boy to stay put at least for another day. My mother arrives tomorrow night to help with toddler care and new baby care and exhausted parent care. Considering our current living circumstances (far away from nearly everyone we care about), it is reasonable to see why I would want him to wait. We are still, of course, excited to meet him. My husband, actually, is more excited this time because he is no longer afraid of fatherhood. He is the one who keeps telling me to go pack my bag.

Guess I should get on that.

E is THREE!!!

2011-01-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, my firstborn turned three. It is absolutely impossible to imagine the road we've taken over these past three years (nearly four, if you include the pregnancy too). Today we will celebrate with friends while enduring even more of her obsession with Thomas the Train.

She says things that embarrass us, cause us to laugh hysterically, anger us, surprise us, and sometimes all of that happens at once. She does things that infuriate us to no end, and she does other things that just melt our hearts. Her smile sends us over the moon; her (real) cry breaks us into a million pieces. Her fake cry annoys us. Her secret language baffles us, as does her command of vocabulary in English and even a little Spanish.

We just never know what each day will bring us, and we're reveling in this short period of time we have left with just her before our world changes again with the arrival of our son in (more or less) a month.

The Male of the Species

2010-12-26T16:00:00.000-08:00

I have often found it sort of sad that my dear, sweet husband (who is otherwise there for me at every turn) just seems to check out during my pregnancies. I thought, the first time, that it was because he was afraid of fatherhood. He confirmed as much in a few different conversations we'd had. However, I thought maybe this time (now that he's conquered "fatherhood" quite well) he'd be a little more excited about pregnancy number two and the impending birth of a son.

Turns out, men tend to see their pregnant wives in a whole different way. Pregnancy is like a "Keep Off the Grass" sign to the men. My husband describes it as a feeling of waiting to have his wife back. Now, while he is thrilled and excited about the birth of his second child and knows full well he can rock being a superdad a second time, he is not excited to know about every inner working of my changing body, the growth of our boy, if that distortion on my belly is an elbow or a knee, the exact expansion rate of my ribcage, how our son's head is pressing on my bladder, or that he has relentless hiccups that keep me up at night.

It's a perspective issue. We mommies see the pregnancy as a miracle unto itself. The changes our bodies undergo to support the growing life inside us, the way we were perfectly formed to carry out the mission of developing and giving birth to a new life, the way we were built to nurture this new life with our perfectly formulated, natural, wholesome milk supply, and so on.

To daddies, the true miracle begins after the baby has entered the outside world. To them, it's a miracle that such a tiny thing will grow to be a real person someday. It's a miracle that his wife has done such an amazing thing as childbirth. It's a miracle that someday she'll look like her old self (God-willing, anyway). It's a miracle that, despite all the hustle-bustle that often occurs after birth (especially in a hospital), that he can't focus on anything but that tiny little baby and his radiant wife, who is now a mother (and this reminds him that he is a FATHER!!). And, of course, it's a miracle to the new daddy that he is able to function with so little sleep once baby and mommy come home with him!

I don't feel so sad about it now. I understand that men see pregnancy and childbirth as secret clubs for women, and that no matter how much we try to make them a part of the whole process, all they really want to do is be present, holding our hands, telling us we're doing great (while simultaneously wondering if he's doing great), secretly wondering if we're in agonizing pain and why he can't make it better, and ultimately kissing us and holding their progeny in complete awe.

The miracle and the mystery is for us mommies to enjoy.

Gender Prediction via Old Wives' Tales

2010-11-25T09:07:00.000-08:00

As a mother of a girl who is now carrying a boy, there are definitely some differences between them. But how reliable are those old wives' tales we've all heard about? Numerous websites exist to help you "predict" your unborn child's gender. Consider the following:

Take a quiz to predict your baby's gender at BabyGenderPrediction.com or Parents.com (but be advised, some of the quizzes are tedious and may ask things you might not know, like how overweight or underweight you were before pregnancy or during it)
Before you even conceive, Pregnancy-Info will tell you what to do to ensure conception of a boy or girl
Chinese Birthday Calendars, which use your age and the month of conception to predict the sex, can be found anywhere online - here's one at WebWomb.com (it says I'm having a girl... ha ha)

Then there are the other things one typically hears during pregnancy:

Carrying high = girl, carrying low = boy (although I've heard it the opposite way also)
Shiny, glossy hair and strong nails, little to no morning sickness = boy, looking and feeling like crap = girl - supposedly, because girls steal their mothers' beauty (for me it was the other way around - I had the shiny hair the first time with my girl and this time more breakouts and nails that break at the drop of a hat - AND I was way more nauseated with my son)
140+ bmp fetal heart rate = girl, lower HR = boy (this one was true for me)
Craving sweets = girl, craving sour/salty foods = boy (this was SO not the case for me)
Here's one I never heard before (and have not tried): The Drano Test. Pee in a cup, pour in a tablespoon of Drano (yes, the stuff you unclog drains with) and watch to see if it changes color. In theory, green = girl, and blue = boy.
Legendary Mayan prediction methods are to look at the age of the mother at conception and the year of conception. If both are even or both odd, it's a girl. If one is even and the other is odd, it's a boy. (again, this would make my child a girl, so I'm not sure how accurate it is)
A VERY old tradition is to take off your wedding ring and tie it to a string. Hang in front of your belly. If the ring tick-tocks like a pendulum, it's a girl. If it goes around in a circular motion, it's a boy.

Two things I had not heard before, but I've confirmed this with several friends, are the power of dreams and the amount of fetal movement. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I had dreams about having a boy this time around and was not surprised to confirm it on ultrasound. However, the other thing I've noticed is that my squirmy son pretty much NEVER stops moving. I can still tell when he's sleeping because the movements are slower, less frequent, and smaller. Still, he moves. Like he's tossing and turning! And when he's awake, Lord help me. My entire abdomen changes shape. He pokes, grabs, punches, kicks, stretches, and (I think) jumps rope with his umbilical cord.

Everyone I've talked to who also had boys noticed this excessive fetal movement as well. So, I would guess that it can be another "wives' tale" to add to the list.

Of course, all of these gender prediction methods should be taken as entertainment or fun only. The really sure way to tell if it's a boy or girl is the post-20-weeks ultrasound or amniocentesis. Or, of course, if you are waiting for the surprise... birth!

Pre-school?

2010-11-10T22:28:00.000-08:00

I got two notes when I picked my daughter up from daycare today. The first one was an injury report - she had scratches on her face from a little boy in her class. The daycare center is not permitted to name the other child in the incident, but E totally ratted him out. She pointed at him and said, "He did it!" Luckily, I'm not one of "those moms" who tries to wait out the parent of the offending child so I can say something to him or her. No, because I know my own child is the instigator. And of course, she was today too. She tried to take away his toy and was successful. He tried to get it back, so she hit him. Then he scratched her face. End of scenario.

The second note I got was about putting her in the all-day pre-school class starting next week. She's been doing much better with her potty training, so they decided that for her own development, she should really go to the pre-school class instead of the toddler class. She will be in a room with three- and four-year-olds. She turns three in January. I am delighted at her intelligence and social development because this means she can engage the rapidly-growing part of her brain where language and math are emerging. I'm also sad because my little girl is definitely no baby.

Pre-school! Wow. We're really moving up.

Out of the mouths of babes, bladder punches, and movies

2010-10-24T21:11:00.000-07:00

If people listed things they never thought they'd hear their children say... wow, what a massive, hysterically funny, awkward, and embarrassing list that would be! At the daycare where my daughter goes while I'm at work each day, they have a curriculum that requires observed behaviors be annotated on a periodic basis. To make the process easier, the teachers have a "system" whereby the observer can just jot down a quick note on a sticky and slide it into a pocket labeled with the child's name. Parents may look at these, but not remove them, as they are subsequently recorded on a more official-looking document later.

I read my daughter's observations. And nearly died laughing.

1. "E was coloring a picture. She took picture to teacher and said, 'Look! I drew a loofah!' - Vocabulary/Language Development"
2. "E was asked if she needed to use the potty. She yelled 'NO!' Teacher said, 'But if you don't use the potty, you might have an accident.' E used the potty! :-) "
3. "E brought the toy phone to a teacher and said, 'It won't work. It needs to be charged.' - Cognitive"

In news on my son, he moves quite a lot during the day, night, and in between. At my last appointment (with an OB this time, rather than a midwife), the doctor could barely get him to hold still long enough to get a heart rate. It was 147, which I thought to be kind of low, but he seemed unconcerned. The most annoying thing he does is punch me in the bladder. It isn't painful, but it is very unnerving. It feels like a small electric shock or hitting your funny bone from the inside. I dislike it, to say the very least.

In my quest to learn more about childbirth the natural way, I watched "The Business of Being Born," a documentary by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein, which is available on Netflix Instant View. What an eye-opening experience that one was! Their research further confirms what I've read in Barbara Harper's "Gentle Birth Choices." Statistically speaking, the U.S. is second to last among developed countries in infant and maternal mortality rates. I want more and more to have a home birth, but I don't know if I want to mess with all the drama with changing my insurance to cover it, and then changing it back later. Or if I can even do that. I wonder how much is covered if I try to pay for a home birth outright with the kind of insurance I already have.

I was even more horrified after reading posts from My OB Said WHAT?!? a website that documents things obstetricians (and other medical specialists who deal with birth) said to their patients during their various examinations, when they asked questions, or during birth. Sadly, even midwives are on there.

My first birth experience was by no means terrible. But when I think back on the whole experience, oxygen mask on my face, being unable to really lead my own birth experience because I couldn't effectively tell when my contractions were coming - only when they were there, being unable to move, being catheterized, running out of drugs before the birth, having a baby that struggled to latch on to nurse, and watching her cry when they did all the "medical" stuff they do to babies these days, I just think there is a better way. And the hospital I birthed in was pretty progressive in terms of giving moms more options, having midwives on the staff (a midwife delivered my baby), and even allowing women to labor (but not birth) in a tub. So, the exploration of my options continues.

I turned down the Glucose Tolerance Test (GTT) at my 24 week appointment (I was 25 weeks, but no matter). The doctor was shocked. I hate the taste of that stuff, and really how reliable is a test that subjects you to an unnatural situation to see if your body can process that much sugar in an hour? We'll see how well that one goes over at my next appointment. It's with a midwife.

Over halfway, and yet...so far!

2010-10-08T15:38:00.000-07:00

I am over halfway through this pregnancy. When anxiously anticipating the arrival of a sweet new baby to your family, it is often quite difficult to be patient and allow the baby to grow at his own pace. Yet, here I am, at only 22 weeks and 5 days, eagerly looking ahead. And of course, my daughter, who is stirring from her nap in the next room, is only 33 months old (okay, okay, she's almost 3 years old) - and when I think of how we must raise our children to adulthood, we are SO far away from eighteen.

I am glad for that. I hear of how my friends' children are in first grade, or how their baby who was born like yesterday is already ten weeks old. My nephew, who is eleven, can now wear shoes in the men's department. I don't want our lives to go so whirlwind-fast like that, but it cannot be slowed. My eagerness to fast-forward to the birth of my son is unnecessary. It will be here far too soon, far before we are ready, before his room is ready, before his big sister is ready, before winter is over, and I could go on.

But so much of our lives are spent waiting for the next hurdle to cross that we sometimes forget to enjoy the moment we are in. I want more of my life to be about right now. Tomorrow is great, but there are no guarantees. What regret, to live a life for tomorrow and forget to experience today!

So now I listen for my daughter to come out of her room, ready to use the potty like a big girl, and I wonder if my son will be anything remotely like her. Will we need re-training as parents so we can know how to raise our boy? Ah, who cares? That is still months away. Right now my daughter needs me. And that is more than enough!

It's a boy!

2010-09-20T22:25:00.000-07:00

I never thought my dreams were really telling me anything until the ultrasound technician showed me a winkie on the screen, and I was not the least bit surprised to see it. I have been having dreams for about the last 2 months about the sex of our unborn Deuce. I have NOT EVEN ONCE dreamt he was a girl.

However, after preparing to ship keepsake clothing to my mom and donate the rest to charity (we can't store it anywhere here, and it may be quite a while before the next kid(s) come along), I've started having doubts about getting rid of them for fear that Deuce is really a girl and everyone was wrong, or that he has a twin sister hiding in there somewhere. It is, of course, ridiculous, and I'm trying not to go nuts about it. But there is something painful and final about packing away all of your baby girl's clothes that she can no longer wear and NOT save it for a future sibling.

I am really having a hard time letting this all go.

I am excited about my boy, though. Luckily, we chose not to find out the sex of our firstborn, so we have plenty of unisex stuff to get us started, and I feel good about being able to use that stuff. I am also quite unashamed to ask for free clothes from other families with older male children who don't need their baby clothes anymore.

But the bottom line remains. I am certain I know how the mother feels when she sends those baby clothes away. Wow, what an intense feeling!

Exploring my inner hippie

2010-08-31T11:41:00.000-07:00

You can't braid my armpit hair because there is none. I don't make my own granola because I tend to eat sugary cereals and "field hand breakfast" (eggs, bacon, toast, grits, yum). I don't recycle because there's not a recycling company that will pick up the recycling in my neighborhood, but there is a dump less than a mile away. I use disposable diapers, disposable razors, paper towels, and I get plastic grocery bags at the store because (more often than not) I forget my re-usable grocery bags at home or in the back of the car.

However, I'm considering something even "hippier" than ever before: homebirth. Okay, okay, it's only considered off the grid because so many women have been trained over the course of their lifetimes to view hospital births (or even birthing center births) as the only acceptable, clean, healthy way to have a baby. Arguments on the pro side of hospitals and birthing centers are:

You are close to (or co-located with) immediate emergency medical services, should the need arise
You have access to medications and services that cannot be provided to you at home
You don't have to get halfway through trying to push, only to realize that you need medical help to get that baby out (and then have to get in the car to go to the hospital)
Hospitals are cleaner than your house (okay, well definitely cleaner than my house!)

But then there are the cons:

"Sterile" environment still may cause exposure to germs from other sick people in the hospital
Environment is not comfortable (even if they try to make the rooms more "homey" by adding soft colors and wood paneling)
You don't get the rest you need because there is too much activity in the room/hallway
Sometimes medical interventions happen because the on-call OB is too busy to wait for you to have your baby in the time it takes to have your baby (not because there is a medical need for it)

So I started exploring waterbirth last week, just because it seemed like a good idea and the hospital on base here has a birthing tub. You are created in a womb full of water (or watery stuff) and there you grow until you emerge into the world, where it is shockingly cold and bright, and people take you away from the only person you've ever known (Mama!) to go get on a cold scale, get goop put in your eyes, get a shot of vitamin K, and have like a million people you don't know all fussing about in your immediate area (cleaning up, checking vital signs, taking pictures, etc.). No WONDER babies cry when they are born!

On the flip side, you can be born into water that is the same temperature as Mom's body, pulled up into her arms and cuddled right away, where you can nurse and be happy and cozy for a few minutes at least before they have to do all that measuring and vital sign checking and junk. Slightly less traumatic, right?

But we live in Alaska now. And our baby is due to be born in early February. It will still be cold (and that is an understatement), and my major concern is how quickly our firstborn arrived. Second children come faster. What if we don't make it to the hospital?

So that is when the idea of homebirth popped into my head. And I can do a home waterbirth because tubs can be rented for about $350, I can have whoever I want in the room, I can be in my own familiar surroundings with my own familiar germs (and nobody else's!), and go crawl into MY bed (which is a sleep-number bed, by the way) after birthing my child. No flustering of random nurses or attending physicians to come check out the damage done by putting in a fetal monitor that came out halfway through the birth, cutting me on the way out. No blasts of cold air from the door being fanned at every opportunity with the in-and-out of all the random people. No lights, sounds, machines, etc. Just our home sounds, which our unborn child will be familiar with already after having lived there (muffled by the amniotic fluid) for the past several months.

It is a lot to think about, but after doing some checking up with my provider, I think homebirth is covered under our insurance. How neat.

Au naturale ala aqua?

2010-08-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

Two things have been floating around in my head lately.

1. Should I have a totally natural (i.e., medication-free) birth?
2. Should I consider a water birth?

The hospital here on base has LDRP rooms, which means "Labor, Delivery, Recovery, and Postpartum." This basically means that the room I go into from the beginning is mine until I leave the hospital. Many hospitals have LDR but you have to go to a different room after the baby is born and cleaned up and given vitamin K and eye goop, and all that. Another thing the hospital here has is a birthing tub. You can labor in the tub and then get out to deliver (the last hospital I was in for my firstborn was this way). But the difference here is, if you want to HAVE the baby in the tub, you can do that.

The major thing about doing a water birth is (once you get past the idea that you could potentially be sitting in your own "juices" for a while), you absolutely CANNOT do this with pain medication. Although, from some of the research I've done, the water causes such relaxation in the mother that meds are not often required anyway.

The American Pregnancy Association had this to say about water birth: "Water seems to alleviate stress-related hormones, allowing the mother’s body to produce endorphins, which are pain-inhibitors."

Other websites I've found are:
http://www.waterbirth.org/
http://www.gentlebirth.org/
http://www.waterbirthinfo.com/benefits.html
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lakshmi_bertram.html

The other thing I've been thinking about is drug-free. I had an epidural with my first, and it went quite well. From the very first contraction I felt until baby-in-arms was a mere 21 hours, and from epidural to birth was only five hours. Nothing slowed down, I still dilated as expected, and I only had to push for 15 minutes (which is SUPER fast for even veteran moms). However, I am considering it just because I'd like to be able to be informed and say I've done it both ways, and this or that was the way I liked better.

It will be a tough decision, but a friend (who just had a med-free birth) recommended I watch "The Business of Being Born," a documentary by none other than Ricki Lake, which is available on Netflix instant view. To join their online community of support, their website is available here.

Anyway, I have a lot to consider. Luckily, I still have a few months to consider it!

A "dark" dawning thought

2010-08-23T00:30:00.000-07:00

It just occurred to me; I will be giving birth to my child in the Arctic winter. I didn't have postpartum depression last time, but that doesn't mean I'm immune to it. Especially when there will be so, so little daylight in February.

In early February, the sun will rise at approximately 9:30am and set at approximately 4:30pm. If I'm reading this daylight chart correctly. Other websites show somewhere between 5 and 6 1/2 hours of daylight in early February.

Either way, I should probably learn more about ways to combat seasonal affective disorder (SAD) that are safe for new moms and new babies. I need to figure out if having a UV-lamp in the house is okay. Ah, the joys of Alaska living!

Bump-di-bump

2010-08-18T16:34:00.000-07:00

Ah, sixteen weeks. Deuce is a-kicking quite frequently now, and I forgot how surreal and somewhat unnerving it can be until one gets accustomed to the feeling again. Equally unnerving is how prone to sudden bouts of nausea and (sometimes) vomiting I am even this late in the pregnancy. Hopefully this week's checkup will assist with some of the questions I have about it. More to follow, once I learn something.

Indeed, it is time to be excited about the coming little one. Now that fetal movement is noticeable and more often than once a day, I can feel pretty good about the development going on inside my growing tummy. Unfortunately, it isn't yet to the point of doing "kick counts" and other monitoring that is adviseable in later pregnancy. Still, it's something to cheer about.

Not so much the growing belly and shouts from relatives and friends to see pictures posted on Facebook. Cut it out. Please.

Sixteen Candles

2010-08-15T14:08:00.000-07:00

Sixteen weeks tomorrow, and I am still experiencing "the sickness." This was the sixth time I disposed of a meal I really wanted. And it wasn't eggs this time, although I've discovered "Deuce" really does not like eggs. It was mac-and-cheese this time. One of my favorites. Sigh....

Some things I've learned about this pregnancy:

Exhaustion lasts beyond the first trimester if you've got a lot going on
Don't feel bad if you feel "fat" more than pregnant or if your stomach sticks out more than the lower gut (where the baby is) - it's because as the baby grows, your intestines get pushed up (and out) to make more room for baby; hence, the larger stomach area (and larger waist)
If the baby doesn't want it, you can't have it (even if you want it)
Exercise is SO important to help with the fatigue (burning energy makes more)
Fruit and water in copious amounts STILL may not prevent constipation
It's NOT okay to drink Senna tea (AKA laxative tea) - even though it works!
It's okay to take Metamucil
It's okay to take Glucosamine
It's okay to take Calcium supplements
It's okay if you feel old while taking a small handful of very large pills (seriously, like my grandma)
Probably best to take all those at night along with the prenatal vitamin to avoid stomach upset

I'm thinking the vitamins are what upset my universe today. I just started taking all these extra supplements after getting the green light from a certified nurse midwife (CNM) provider. Before you do it, it's best to talk to your provider as well. Everyone is different, and if your pregnancy is "special" (anything from being extra complicated to carrying multiples, being an older mom [over 35], being a very young mom [under 20], having a history of complications or health problems during pregnancy, etc.) it's smart to get advice from a health care practitioner and not the Internet. And definitely not from a blog!

Lots of friends and acquaintances have had babies recently, and it makes me (sometimes) wish we'd stepped up our game a little and had our bundle a little sooner as well. Our first will be three before Deuce arrives, which makes the age gap a little less than ideal for me. However, she may also be mature enough to handle the arrival a little better than, say, a two- to two-and-a-half-year-old might.

I've also started breaking out the maternity wear. It kind of happened suddenly, the need to wear maternity pants. This is not so far-fetched as it might seem. Around 15-16 weeks is the beginning of a growth spurt for the baby. It goes from being only 3 inches long (crown to rump) to 4 1/2 inches long in just a week or two. By the time the spurt is over (around week 20), baby will be 6 1/2 inches crown to rump, and about 10 inches head to toe! Take a look at Baby Center's picture for a Week 16 baby. In sticking with the tradition of comparing the developing fetus to various items in the produce aisle, this week Deuce is about the size of an avocado.

Also, because I'm in the military I get maternity uniforms to borrow for the duration of the pregnancy. I picked those up last week and will start wearing them to work tomorrow. It's really unfortunate I'm not allowed to wear just the pants. My regular uniform shirt isn't really snug or ill-fitting yet, but the maternity top looks like a tent. Uniform regulations require that I wear the pants and top together, though. So I'll be wearing a tent until baby Deuce fills it out. Which, if memory serves, won't take long. Even though weeks 16-20 only span about one month, that is the duration of one of the biggest growth spurts for the baby, and usually when the "bump" turns into a tell-tale "belly."

I'm actually excited about that part.

Thirteen-five with some un-fun attributes

2010-07-28T23:11:00.000-07:00

Amnesia. That is what people say women have when they choose to have another baby. I say, it's what you have during the pregnancy with the second baby. I didn't forget what everything was like UNTIL I got pregnant. I forgot that my morning sickness lasted into the fourteenth week (THANK YOU BLOG), and I forgot that I had gotten to actually SEE my little one at 12 weeks and not just hear a heartbeat. Trying not to be too sad about that one.

We will get to see Deuce on September 13. It seems like forever but it won't be long. I am pretty excited about that day, though. And getting pictures!!!

One thing that is happening now that did not happen last time is the perpetual constipation and, um, hemorrhoids that go along with it. I feel like an old woman. I feel like crying when I have to poop. Sometimes I do. I eat whole grains and cereals, fresh fruits and veggies, and drink copious amounts of water. All to no avail. The website I mainly go to for information, BabyCenter, has a tendency to make me nervous about bleeding and that I should call my practitioner immediately. At ten o'clock at night!

Some other helpful (or not) advice I've seen is that I should not lift my 30+ pound toddler anymore. Wow. Someone should have told me that I would have to be a negligent mother to my first-born in order to have a second-born. I feel so terrible! How could I not pick up and squeeze my little cutie?

For the most part, I think discretion is everything. As in, leave it to your own. If you feel weird about something, ask someone. If you feel okay, why stress over it if someone else says it's not okay? Who makes other moms the subject-matter-experts on anything but themselves and their own pregnancies? Now, if your doctor or midwife says, "Um, NO," then I would probably resist the temptation to be defiant. But these websites are not created by doctors. The good idea fairy bit one of them who said, "You know what we should do? Make a website for pregnant women and new moms." Thus, the website is born. Now, professionals do consult on these sites, so all the information is not invalid. However, you will find that some vast portions of medical information are cut-and-pasted directly from WebMD or other reputable sites.

So it's still not a hundred percent fun being pregnant yet. I'm sure the second trimester (which will be here in just a few days) will lead to a wonderful change in my mood, my overall wellbeing, and my outlook. For now, I keep checking for movement (I think I have actually felt it already since I know what I'm looking for), and trying to "feel" pregnant as much as possible. Other than not being able to fasten my pants anymore.

Cross-continental driving and toddler regression

2010-07-18T13:24:00.000-07:00

One thing I do NOT recommend while 8-11 weeks pregnant is driving. Across the entire continent of North America. With a husband and toddler. For two weeks.

Okay, let me rephrase. If you decide to do this, oh-pregnant-one, YOU will be doing most of the driving, just to avoid the nausea associated with being in a car that you are not busy controlling. We took a 4,000+ mile trip from the state of Georgia to the state of Alaska. It took us about 13 total driving days. It was brutal, exhausting, uncomfortable, and most of all - just not much fun.

Additionally, the confusion of being uprooted from home and subsequently spending one night in a different hotel or house along the way has completely rebooted our toddler's potty-training skills to zero. If we are persistent with getting her on the potty at set times of day, sometimes we get lucky and get a pee or poop in the toilet. Mostly, we're spending our precious pennies on more and more Pull-Ups. We had gotten her down to just two per day. Now, it's a good day if we only use six.

Regression is a big part of toddlerhood when significant emotional events occur. By "significant emotional event" I mean anything from moving homes to moving rooms, switching to a big kid bed from the crib, birth of a sibling, or loss of a close relative (even though they are too young to understand the permanence of death, kids are very perceptive and understand the sense of loss felt by those around them). They don't really have ways of dealing with emotions other than the typical toddler outbursts and... well, wetting or pooping themselves.

To be fair, as frustrating as it is, it's hard to really feel angry about it. I mean, for the first two years of her life, it has been perfectly okay for her to poop and pee in a diaper. The Pull-Up, for all intents and purposes, probably doesn't feel any different to her. The major difference is that she steps into it rather than having us fold it up around her, and even that isn't required because they detach at the sides. So, once we get in a house (still in a hotel now), we intend to put her in cotton training pants that will very clearly feel different to her hind parts. Wetness will be no secret. And, to our dismay, neither will be the poop.

As for my ongoing pregnancy, we're at week twelve now. Hoping for the nausea to subside. I have been able to eat a little more. Still mostly soup. The joys of soup! So complete a meal, and I don't have to chew it. That makes such a huge difference to a woman who feels nausea emerge just because of the surge in saliva that accompanies pregnancy. But, last night I had a dream that our ultrasound revealed a boy. A whole new wave of emotions will go along with that one! But that is for another time.

Happy driving, training, and whatever else you might be doing!

As if I didn't know better....

2010-06-19T21:52:00.000-07:00

My previous pregnancy had me yukking it up on a plane at eight weeks (not in the sense that you're having a good time cajoling and whatnot with your neighbor, but rather that you are experiencing what lunch tastes like in reverse). I should have learned my lesson then. However, silly me, I've chosen to be on airplanes yet again. At seven-and-a-half weeks, I managed to survive all the way through take-off and landing a few times, but alas... did not survive the last landing without tossing it.

During the last pregnancy, I vomited eleven times total. I'm pretty sure I can survive without as many pukings this time. Of course, the large part of it is managing my intake of carbs and other sugars, protein (ah, blessings), and not doing silly stuff like texting or reading while passengering in a car. Motion sickness (turns out) plays a rather large part in the general nausea. I've read that if you are prone to getting motion sick, you will also have the pleasure (probably) of experiencing morning sickness.

Morning sickness is not an automatic sign things are going swimmingly, so if you don't get it just count your blessings (and fetal kicks, when you can feel them) and be happy. About 50% of women have both nausea and vomiting, 25% have just nausea, and 25% have neither. Ginger helps, but B6 is even better (although you can't have too much of it because it could cause problems). One thing I swear by is taking the prenatal vitamin close to bedtime. As long as you've eaten within the past 2 hours, your stomach still has enough gunk to help it break down without irritating your stomach. It's always good to take it with a glass of milk if you're able to do that. The extra calcium is a bonus, plus milk soothes the tummy as well.

Tummy soothing is about the best thing a girl can ask for these days.

Six-and-a-half weeks

2010-06-10T06:54:00.000-07:00

Week six is upon us. I'm happy to report that I have no morning sickness yet, but just to be prepared I bought a jar of sushi ginger to chew on. Ginger is the best way to combat the nausea. Okay, second-best. EATING is the best way to combat the nausea. Eat a little and eat it often.

At six weeks, "Deuce" (our nickname for our number two baby) looks like this. Kind of like a manatee. The neat thing about that site is if you have Java, you can click on a 3-D rotatable image as well. Or, you can pop on a pair of 3-D glasses and look at the image like that. Pretty neat.

We are starting to think of baby names now, and my mother will be glad to know that we've decided to find out the sex of this baby. If it's a girl, we shouldn't really need anything new besides diapers and wipes. If it's a boy, we'll need a whole new wardrobe. I'm hoping to count on my husband's brother for this one since they have two boys.

No matter what, we're looking forward to being parents again. It will be an adventure to say the least. Aside from the poop, pee, vomit, crying, lack of sleep, and complete dependence of the baby, we'll also have the jealousy, anger, betrayal, acting-out, and behavioral and emotional regression of our older child. Ah, but such is life.

Sleep, how I love thee

2010-06-03T18:32:00.000-07:00

"Pregnancy Brain" has already set in. This is when you forget where you've put your keys because you're holding them in your hand or you write everything down because you know you can't remember ANYTHING... and then misplace the paper/notebook/etc. where you wrote it all.

Being in the military means you have to pull out your ID card for every little thing. To come on base, to pick up prenatal vitamins from the pharmacy, to check in for an appointment at the hospital or clinic, to eat lunch in the dining facility, to buy stuff from the commissary... really, EVERYTHING. So my first experience with pregnancy brain came when I checked in for an appointment. The clerk took my ID card AND GAVE IT BACK TO ME while we were holding a conversation about said appointment. I asked him for my ID back, and he just looked at me with the, "Are you really serious or are you just messing with me?" face. He calmly replied that he already did, so I had to check my wallet. It, of course, was there.

That's not the end. I sat down and flipped through a magazine and got the sudden intense feeling that I had misplaced my ID card (which I would need again when I saw the people in the lab downstairs to supply them with six tubes of blood and a cup of urine for various tests). So I pulled out my wallet AGAIN to check for it. Perhaps ten minutes had elapsed between checking the wallet for my ID.

I guess there is a lot going on in our lives right now, so that is part of it, I'm sure. Pregnancy brain is a huge thing you deal with while pregnant, though. I couldn't remember from last time that it started this early. Another thing I forgot about was how early I went to bed.

Apparently, during my first pregnancy I went to bed between 8:30 and 9:00 routinely. I questioned my husband about this when he made fun of me for it the other day. Now, during Game One of the NBA finals, I approached him and said, "I'm tired. I'm thinking of going to bed." He laughed and pointed at the clock. It was 9:10. I'm now toughing it out so I can try to pretend I will watch the game until half time. But for the most part, I'm probably half-asleep as I write this, and will not likely make it to the beginning of the second quarter.

Now, where is my ID card?

Potty-Training Continues

2010-05-31T14:08:00.000-07:00

E has been working on using the potty for a couple of months now. We at first intended to use Toilet Training in Less than a Day by Azrin and Foxx. It is a clinically-researched method to train (believe it or not) profoundly mentally retarded adults into being able to use the toilet unassisted. The authors did further research with both mentally retarded and normal children and found the tactics worked really well. It involves using a doll that wets with its own toilet (those things are EXPENSIVE) and lots of praise and treats.

We did the effort for a day or two but found it really frustrating when she simply refused to participate. We decided instead that she could figure it out on her own if we just kept encouraging her. And she has gone 3 full days without pooping in her Pull-up and is now down to just two Pull-ups a day. Almost time to start using big girl panties! We're so excited. However, potty training in itself has been an adventure.

Things I had NO idea I would be dealing with when potty-training a two-year-old:

Intense fear of the automated flush-toilets in public restrooms
Intense fear of the hand dryers in public restrooms
Musical potty - the inability of the child to decide whether to use the child potty or the "big potty"
Being cheered on by my daughter when I used the bathroom
The crazy comments I would hear

To elaborate, E screams like you are trying to kill her if there are hand dryers in the bathroom. She has now begun calmly stating, "We don't use the dryer," instead, which is a relief. However, the flush toilets cannot be bargained with. She abandoned my mother in a public bathroom when the automatic flush activated while Mom was still using the toilet. E unlocked the stall and left my mother, pants around ankles, with the stall standing wide open.

She alternates between using the "big potty" - the one that is generally found in bathrooms - and her training toilet. Sometimes she wants to sit on the toilet rather than the potty, which often requires some adult supervision, if not full on support. However, her interest in doing well is taking over, so we adapt. The most alarming things have been when she comes in while I'm on the toilet.

She has said the following (either to me or about her own efforts):

"Let me see, Mama." (when I've been on the toilet)
"Good job, Mama!" (when I get up)
"Ooooh, that's a Biiiiig Poop!" (for her own efforts as well as... yes, mine)
"We go pee in the potty and not on the floor." (internalizing our comments to her after she peed on her bedroom floor one night)

Overall, it's been quite a fun ride. I think she'll get better and better as we go along, and I am so glad to know we won't have two in diapers at the same time!

The Deuce

2010-05-30T16:42:00.000-07:00

We haven't really decided what to nickname our "number two child" but we ARE expecting again, and it's such a delight to know I get the privilege of reliving the experience. We only just discovered we were growing a new little sprout, so we're expecting a February delivery.

E has been informed that she will become a big sister, but of course, as it often is for 2-year-olds, reality has not yet sunk in. We're looking forward to coaching her into the idea along the way. Especially as Mommy's shape changes!

The first thing that really came to mind when I first learned of the pregnancy was how incredibly exhausting the first few weeks really are. I've taken naps nearly every day for the past week. I first had an inkling when, in the shower, I noticed my breasts were really firm. As we age, the tautness of youth tends to... well, not be there anymore. So anyway, it was pretty different. Then of course, the frequent urination was another hint. And of course, the more obvious missed period. Although, to be honest, I was already sure by the time I was two days late (TWO DAYS!!!) and took a test.

So here we are, and blood tests confirmed it. The online EDD calculator I found at BabyCenter gave us a 2 February date, but since it is an inexact science, I'm thinking it will be about a week or so later. We'll see!!!

With parenthood, marriage, and career all hanging in the balance, I don't know how dutiful I will be to updating this blog, but I will surely do my best to keep the notes coming. Every pregnancy is different (not just for each woman, but for each pregnancy), so I'm looking forward to the changes that will come with this new life.

Intelligence

2010-04-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

So you never really know what you're dealing with as far as intelligence goes until it is demonstrated so plainly that there is no question. We're dealing with a genius. No doubt about it. This child is incredibly smart. By 18 months, she already knew her alphabet. She knew all of her primary, secondary, and tertiary colors by 22 months, as well as how to count to ten. My sister even taught her the shapes beyond the typical circle, square, triangle (stuff she knew since about 18 months) and taught her octagon, hexagon, and trapezoid.

Tonight, she yet again wowed me with her ability to think in more abstract ways. I told her, as per our usual bedtime routine, to go pick out ONE book.

She chose the one with five stories in it. Little stinker!

Single Parenting...

2010-03-14T18:45:00.001-07:00

...Even on the temporary (which is the case for me), is INCREDIBLY hard!

Every spouse who stays at home with their children while their Soldier/Sailor/Airman/Marine is deployed for a year or more, every mom or dad who has to go it alone for one reason or another, I salute you! After walking a mile in those shoes after a mere 3 months of it, I realize that single parents have the hardest job of anyone.

They also have great time management skills, can multitask like nobody's business, and probably live on like 18 minutes of sleep a night.

To all you single moms and dads out there (whether by marital status or geographical location), YOU ROCK.

Sibling Needed

2010-01-27T17:37:00.000-08:00

Our toddler is adorable. A biased mother can say so. And even though I hear her talking to herself, her toys, me, her imagination, or the cats from inside her bedroom when she should be sleeping, I know deep down I cannot be upset with this child just yet. One thing, however, is very clear to me: she needs a sibling. And soon.

Sharing is something she's learned at daycare, but at home she believes that everything is hers (perception is reality, of course, because EVERYTHING seems to be hers). She acts less polite, more unruly, and more defiant at home. At daycare, her teachers report that she's a marvel, a wonder, well-behaved, well-read, and highly entertaining to them and the rest of her peers. She LOVES to be the center of attention.

This, however, is also a problem. More than just a personality trait, if this child isn't the center of attention ALL THE TIME, I fear she'll become destructive and engage in behaviors totally unbecoming of her (and totally embarrassing for me). Therefore, she must have a sibling. Besides, I love my sister and am so glad to have her. She needs a brother or sister, too. Like, now.

Let the planning phase begin!

E is TWO

2010-01-01T14:04:00.000-08:00

Two years ago today, E was born. She is our first child. She is probably the most wonderful, creative, imaginative, perfect representations of both my husband's and my best (and worst) qualities.

With toddlerhood (and more importantly, two-year-old-ness), comes the magic word we have come to understand as "NO!" No nap, no lunch, no milk, no clean up, no Mama, no Daddy, no come here, no bye-bye, no-no-no-no-no. All of these are fashionable for a toddler to try on. The best we can hope for is that she will tire of it quickly.

The majority of her antics are on full display around naptime or bedtime. These are some of the more creative adventures we've had in recent weeks with our very own "little monster" :

While my mother (who snores) was lying down beside E to help her fall asleep, my mom accidentally fell asleep also. On the first snore to escape Mom's lips, E sat BOLT UPRIGHT in bed and (very seriously) asked, "Who farted?"
When she was supposed to be napping, my mom went to check on her and caught her sitting with her back to the door. When asked what she was doing, E responded, "E is a bad girl." On closer inspection, she'd taken all of my mother's post-it notes (like 24 pads) out of cellophane and began sticking them all over everything in sight.
When she was supposed to be in bed, we found her asleep on the floor, with a sock on one hand, a boot on one foot, and the other foot bare.
On waking from a nap, she yelled down the hall from her room (which is protected with a baby gate). She wanted to be taken out, so she yelled, "Anybody? Hello? I want to get out of this gate."

E is quite a little charmer as well, and has tried everything to prolong the bedtime routine. She asks for the cliche "drink of water" as well as for "just one more book," and has also been more direct in stating that she wanted to "go back in there [living room] and play with toys."

Her speech is quite amazing for someone so small, and her vocabulary is vast and rapidly expanding. She says some of the craziest things, like, "Oh, my Lo-o-ord!" and "Careful, Mama!" when you have to hit the brakes really hard in the car because of other maniacs on the road. She is also a backseat driver, telling me when there's a red light, and that it means stop.

She is a clever little one, and definitely the most fun and challenging little thing I've yet faced. Can't wait for the rest of this year and whatever is next!

E is Six Months Old!!!

2008-07-06T11:56:00.000-07:00

Wow, who can believe half a year has already passed! I really think I'm starting to figure this whole motherhood thing out. E has learned a lot, but she's also taught me a lot.

1. Babies give the worst "purple nurples" of anyone. Cut the nails.
2. Eating solid food means less pumping/breastfeeding.
3. Eating solid food also means the cute poopy diapers of breastfeeders is replaced with rotten dingleberries that smell like death.
4. Sitting up for the first time is good.... until the falling-over for the first time.
5. Playtime encompasses many more activities now than it did at three months!
6. Teething means even more drool than I ever thought possible. I have to pack at least 5 bibs for every outing of one hour or more.
7. Babies do not have "allergies" - or at least, it can't be detected until after one year. If she has a snotty nose, it's because she has contracted some vile illness from the cesspool they call daycare.
8. Babies suck on everything. This includes (but is not limited to) bottles, pacifiers, boobies, fingers, toes, stuffed animals, blankets, car keys, plants, real animals (if they get close enough), and germ-infested toys from daycare.
9. Although she thinks it's hilarious, do not let E stick her hands in your mouth or you will get sick (see number 8).
10. She is, despite any disgusting diapers, vomit, drool, infestation of disease, anger, tears, or sneezing directly in your face, the CUTEST little thing ever.

Next is baby-proofing the house in anticipation of pending independent mobility. She has not yet decided to crawl anywhere, but she watches us with those eyes that seem to say, "I'm waiting for you to look the other way, and when you look back, I'll be halfway down the street." I'm SO looking forward to that.

Babbling

2008-05-26T21:11:00.000-07:00

Pregnancy seems like a lifetime ago. My baby will be five months old in a mere 6 days. She was so small and you could easily cuddle her completely within your arms. Now an arm or leg tends to dangle beyond my embrace. Sometimes she pulls my hair or pinches my flesh (the non-muscular part just above the elbow on the back of the arm, for example). Sometimes she slaps me in the face or scratches my eyes. She's going to be the devil incarnate someday. For now, she's a sweet little angel and I can't get enough of her.

Tonight when I put her to bed, she "talked" to herself for no less than an hour. I think she finally passed out about fifteen minutes ago. She babbles, coos, giggles, belly-laughs, grins, drools, chews, and does something that sounds like a heavy breather on the other end of a phone line. She also does that noise that young Forrest does when his principal leaves his home after some school-admission coitus with Mommy. She keeps us laughing all the time.

These are some milestones:
1. Laughed aloud.
2. Rolled over (completely by accident, four times in a row, and not since).
3. Held head up while on tummy.
4. Took a few pretty nasty face-bumps while on tummy... but survived.
5. Copied Mom and Dad sticking out their tongues and making noises.
6. Giggled when tickled.
7. Smiled for the camera (and now will not STOP being a ham in front of one).
8. Scooted in reverse (only once).
9. Kicked so hard the crib dropped down to the lowest level (this was scary, and the crib manufacturer should put out a warning).
10. Went to daycare and did super.
11. Had some photos taken by someone OTHER than relatives.
12. Flew to NC.
13. Rode 10 hours in a car over 2 days and didn't squall.
14. Was able to ride face-out in the front carrier.
15. Learned some cause-and-effect (i.e., if I push this button, animal noises come out).

These are just a few. We're so proud, as if you couldn't tell. Maybe if life stops being so... dominating... I can post more about postpartum stuff. Here's a picture for now. Not super-recent, but she's so sweet and dreamy I couldn't resist.

Motherhood, the joys and woes

2008-03-31T21:24:00.001-07:00

E will be three months old tomorrow. Three months, and wow, have I learned!

1. Child care is expensive and popular. Put your name on the wait list before your baby is born or else you'll be on a year-long wait list for the inexpensive place while you have the privilege of paying $1,000 a month for the alternative.
2. Once you hit the 2-month mark, you get to see smiles that are directed at you, and not just those cute dreamy ones they have by accident.
3. If you don't want your baby to be addicted to TV, don't let him or her near it. The moving colors and lights are too attractive to ignore. My baby loves March Madness. Let's hope college basketball isn't too damaging to her developing mind.
4. Air travel with an infant can be scary, demanding of your marital relationship, draining on all your mental and physical resources, but rewarding when you get complimented on the unexpectedly quiet and reasonably good behavior of your little traveler.
5. Moving with a baby sucks, but if it's a local move and you have friends who will help out, it's not so bad.
6. Some Easter bonnets are better left in the 19th century with Little House on the Prairie.
7. Jealous cats will poop on your rug unless you pet them once in a while.
8. The generosity of friends and loved ones will never cease to amaze me!
9. Once babies get "grabby" it might be a good time for a shorter hairstyle. Or lots of updo's, ponytails, or other devices to avoid torture.
10. Keep those little fingernails trimmed, or someone might call Social Services and report you for the little scratches all over your baby's face.

These are only a few. Today was E's first day in a child care facility. It almost broke my heart to let her go, but she was really good. She wasn't fussy, she didn't get upset when I left her, and apparently was quite content during her five-hour stay. I will take her again tomorrow, and then it's her daddy's turn. I somehow think he will not handle it as well. As my grandmother said, "He's foolish over that baby." And she's right.

Today is the Due Date - Labor was like...

2008-01-08T17:12:00.000-08:00

Today is the day our lovely daughter (referred to in this blog as E) was supposed to arrive. Okay, well really it's the estimated delivery date (EDD) based off the last period I had. I'm really glad she arrived a week ago. It was snowing today, nasty and gross out. School was cancelled, the roads were muck. I couldn't imagine trying to head to the hospital in this condition!

My hometown paper also published a story about E's arrival after recognition of my alma mater spread through the blog sites back home. They even included a link back to the west-coast newspaper's spread at the bottom of the online version of the article. I got a letter from the alumni association and a magnet that read "Future Pirate" on it as well!

Pictures will follow, but here are a few notes about labor and delivery:
* My contractions did not start until 3am on the 31st of December, and I barely noticed them as anything special until they started to actually feel uncomfortable, by about noon.
* Walking made them worse, which was a sure sign that they were REAL and not "practice contractions" (Braxton Hicks).
* I felt a trickle around 2:30pm, and was unsure if I'd peed myself so I went to the bathroom about 3 times in a row until I couldn't pee anymore. I still felt the trickle, so I knew I'd sprung a leak.
* I called the L&D ward around 3:30 to let them know, and they said for me to come in for a checkup. Expecting I'd just be sent back home, I didn't make snacks for Dev or pack the books we were going to read while waiting for labor to really get going.
* By the time we arrived at around 4:15, my contractions were 1 1/2 to 2 minutes apart and I was 4cm dilated. They admitted me at about 5:30.
* Things progressed quickly. The nurse anesthetist was called in to do my epidural at about 7:00. It took her six attempts because apparently, if you do a lot of situps, it makes the epidural space (between the vertebrae) very tight. My poor husband was holding me in position for the big needle, but after the third or fourth attempt, he started feeling funny and needed to sit down, so a nurse took over.
* The midwife broke the secondary bag of waters (yes, there are two layers) after the epidural kicked in because that makes contractions get serious in a hurry. I felt warm water gushes periodically with each contraction after the initial "sploosh." It was hard not to be grossed out.
* I had to get a "booster" in the epidural IV around 9:30 or 10:00 because the contractions had begun to feel like they did before I got the epidural in. Unfortunately I don't remember the name of the drug but I'm sure it was some variant of morphine. I could still feel the contractions but they felt like pressure rather than pain.
* At around 11:45, they told me to start pushing. It really does feel like you need to poop, as I was told. You have to hold your breath and push in 10-second intervals, usually three pushes grouped together.
* At 12:33am on January 1, 2008, E entered the world as the first baby of the New Year in our county.

I cannot express to you the feelings I had. Neither can my husband. He did not cut the cord. However, since the baby's sex was a surprise, we got the opportunity to announce it to the birthing room once she came out. It was just amazing. And it all went super fast compared to most rookie mommies. That's why the nurses called me a "Rock Star" during the labor and delivery. That plus the extended epidural effort, I suppose. But if you want something bad enough, you'll endure most anything to get it.

More to follow as time permits. She is awake and alert and ready to have dinner now, so I gotta run.

She's here!

2008-01-04T10:12:00.001-08:00

We had a beautiful new year baby. Since she was the FIRST, she was already on the Internet before she was even 24 hours old! More pictures and all the gory details to follow, but it's our first full day home from the hospital and we need the rest!

Ew, ew, ew....plus, practical advice

2007-12-29T15:00:00.000-08:00

The last little bit of pregnancy is getting pretty disgusting. Apparently, one of the many purposes of the "membrane sweep" is to loosen the mucous plug. The membrane sweeping hurt like crap, as I mentioned in the previous blog. However, I'd say it was pretty productive if it caused this one step in pre-labor to happen.

In real life, the mucous plug looks like a really nasty loogie. This website has a picture of a real one if you really, really want to see an example. I was pretty disgusted by it. So this basically means labor could start in a few hours, or up to two weeks from now. I'm truly hoping for sooner rather than later, of course.

We went on a tour of the labor & delivery ward at the hospital last night. I highly recommend going at night, through the emergency department, so that you can find the birthing center from there. It's one thing to know how to get there from the entrance closest to it, but that might be closed after-hours or on weekends. If you need someone to give you a tour, you might want to call ahead to ensure that there is at least one birthing room available to look at, and that staff isn't too busy to take a few minutes and walk you around. I wish I had brought my camera. The birthing room was super-awesome and comfy-looking. Well, maybe in a couple days I'll get to be in one. There will be pictures then, of course!

I Feel Like a Car

2007-12-27T09:29:00.000-08:00

... except one that can feel pain.

I had my 38-week checkup today. They ask if there's any strange "knocking" (contractions), leaks, drips, etc. before checking under the hood themselves. Then, the "sweep" or "stripping" of membranes occurs. Wow, so I didn't know it would feel like I was being forcibly violated. I had to take a breather in between sweeps. The reason it was so painful is because my cervix is still pretty thick, so the midwife had to kind of jab to get in there. She promises it won't be as bad next time because the cervix will be thinner.

Before any poking and prodding, however, she told me I was 30% effaced and 1 1/2 cm dilated. It means practically nothing. But at least things are progressing. It's hard not to be discouraged at this point when you've heard about 3 different women (1 due the day before you, and 2 with due-dates after yours) already have babies. I'm trying to stay positive.

My dear husband is very encouraging and keeps me from turning into a crazy person. He's also reading "The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin (we're using the 2nd edition but there is a 3rd edition out). It's sort of alleviating any mental trauma I've had about labor and delivery. Plus, it says quite clearly what my dear husband should be doing during all of it. It's pretty helpful, and I recommend it.

Shocking Revelation

2007-12-11T21:44:00.000-08:00

I was sitting here, minding my own business, when a crazy thought occurred to me.... I have absolutely NO idea what contractions feel like! Several people have asked me if I'm having Braxton-Hicks (practice contractions) and I always say no, because I figure I'd probably know if I did, right? But I don't know! My mom, always a giver of advice, said I would just feel "different." Ambiguity is awesome.

Another friend has advised I have my membranes stripped after 38 weeks. I think on my 39-week appointment, if the baby isn't doing anything progressively toward labor, I will!

Nearing Week 36

2007-12-09T16:38:00.000-08:00

OUCH!

That's pretty much all I do lately. There just isn't enough space left for the little one. And I use the term "little one" very loosely. The baby feels enormous to me. The space between my ribs and pelvis is not very accommodating, so Baby has decided to adjust all of my internal organs and bone structure. I feel rather like I've been run through the ringer a few times, or perhaps hit by a truck.

I spoke to a couple of other moms (new and experienced alike), and they all agree that pregnancy lasts just about one month longer than necessary. Maybe not to the baby, but definitely to the mom! Since I'm pretty much in that last month now (the unnecessary one), I have to say I agree.

Here's hoping I don't end up like the majority of first-timers and go 41 weeks!

34 Weeks, 2 Days

2007-11-29T21:03:00.000-08:00

Had the last ultrasound today. Baby was pretty cooperative, although it took some time to see the heart. Didn't matter much because this tech didn't really have the high-quality machine that the other tech did, nor the expertise about VSDs - so she said she couldn't see them, and I guess that's a good thing. Anyway, the part you are all waiting for... pictures!

Baby has a head full of hair!

You can see a closed eye and eyebrow.

Baby gots some fat lips!

If you can't see that last one, tilt your head to the right and imagine Baby is blindfolded. You can see the bottom of the little nose and then BIG FAT LIPS!!!! That's okay, both Mommy and Daddy have them as well. Time is drawing short on this pregnancy. Less than six weeks to go. Hopefully, Baby wants to show up on time (or maybe a few days early). We shall see.

Things that go BUMP in the Night...

2007-11-12T16:15:00.001-08:00

I might be having practice contractions. That's what I call them because that's what they are. Braxton Hicks is the real name for these "practice contractions" that can start as early as the second trimester. Unfortunately, despite all the descriptions, I have absolutely no idea what contractions feel like. I liken this to the descriptions of what fetal movement might feel like. Every pregnancy, every woman, every baby is different - so those feelings that people seem so eager to describe for me are really more like descriptions of what they felt.

Here is what I feel:

Abdominal aches, much like the stretching-ab-machine-workout feeling I described earlier, when my stomach began to grow
Slight nausea (okay, not really nausea, but that feeling you get on the way down from the top of a Ferris Wheel)
Mild gut discomfort (kind of like fart-cramp)

That's pretty much everything, in a nutshell. I know it isn't much to go on, but I also know it isn't "the real thing" because I haven't needed to go to the hospital, and it typically goes away within a couple of minutes. The most annoying part of it is that it happens primarily at night, when normal people like to be asleep. Sometimes it wakes me up, and I get all annoyed because then the Baby starts moving and it all prevents me from falling right back to sleep. Usually Baby movement doesn't wake me up, so this is something else I get to enjoy!

My dear husband... I cannot talk with him about the physical ailments of pregnancy because he believes every little tweak will result in a trip to the hospital. It's always the first question out of his mouth: "Is this a 'We need to go to the hospital' kind of ouch, or what?" At least I know that when the time comes, he'll be ready!

A Little Too Grabby

2007-11-05T20:23:00.000-08:00

It is now Week 30-6 (tomorrow marks off a full 31 weeks). Baby has consistently kicked and wiggled and squirmed, but now a new activity has begun. Baby got grabby. I'm sitting there, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I feel intense discomfort in my ... well, my bladder, I guess. Not like a "gotta go" sensation. This is like if a little pinchy buggar decided to see what bladder feels like from the top side. I assume this is what occurred. Baby has been pinching and grasping all sorts of parts inside there. Mostly I notice when my bladder begins to tingle. It doesn't exactly hurt - it's more of an uncomfortable feeling, kind of like a low-voltage shock.

At any rate, I'm really ready for this habit to cease. Feet are still in the ribs, I still have the occasional soreness from sciatica, and now there's this. Pinchy McGhee better settle down. As my friend in Virginia states it, some of these little fetal movements plead a good case for child abuse. The good news is, I can push back when Baby pushes on me. S/he isn't going anywhere and can really just push right back at me or (hopefully) stop doing whatever it was that annoyed me in the first place.

Funny story: the other night, my husband decided to push on my stomach. Baby pushed back. He pushed again, and Baby pushed back. It was like a little game. Of course, this only happened for a few seconds before the Baby rolled to another direction and stopped playing. Still, it made Daddy have a nice warm fuzzy for the rest of the night. Ah, the joys of bonding!

Week 28 Ultrasound

2007-10-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

Today is Week 28, Day 6. Almost 29 weeks. I'm technically in the third trimester now, and the DAY is drawing closer. I got some new clothes in the mail from my mother. Here's a little taste:

We got some great news today at the ultrasound. The VSDs (holes) in the baby's heart are now down to less than one millimeter each in size. With any luck, they will be gone before the birth. If not, they should be gone close after. The next ultrasound is not until 29 November, so we have plenty of time to work it out!

My suspicions were confirmed today... the reason my ribs hurt so badly is because a tiny foot is wedged up there in them throughout much of the day. I have started doing yoga and other stretches to get Baby to do something else with its feet for a while, but eventually they migrate right back into their favorite resting place. I guess I shouldn't complain. It's slightly less annoying than the sciatic nerve pain I had for the entire second trimester.

And now, the ones you're REALLY waiting for, the baby:

Baby's eyes are open. Because we woke it up with the ultrasound!Big yawn!!!

It's simply amazing to watch the little one grow and move. We saw the eyes moving around, "looking" at stuff (even though it's REALLY dark in there and not much to see). And the little one's tongue, tasting the amniotic fluid and practicing the SUCK. The technician says there is hair on Baby's head now. The heart rate was really good... 138 bpm at first (sleeping), and finally around 150 bpm by the end (because Baby was irritated, I think). Baby weighs 3 lbs., 1 oz. and is about a week ahead for its size (looking like a 30 week, 1 day baby rather than a 28 week, 6 day baby). Here's hoping that means the little one shows up early!

Week 28 - Warning: Contents Under Pressure

2007-10-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

A new development over the last week is that when I lie down at night, I can feel Baby pressing against one side of my belly. This is different from the bump-bump I feel when Baby is restless or practicing karate. This is just like what I would call a classic "fart stretch." I know I'm a redneck with no manners, but don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Babies are not shy about doing this when they are gassy. I've witnessed it firsthand numerous times. They stretch out their legs against something that can push back (presumably a caregiver's hands or legs) and just let 'er rip.

So now I feel the pressure against one side of my belly as I'm lying there about to fall asleep. And the fun part is, when I push back, I can feel Baby move away (not jerky bumps again, but really fluid movements). Baby rolls over or withdraws the offending limb from my abdominal wall. It is a RESPONSE, which I think is awesome. Until now, Baby was just a mess of arms and legs and squirms and wiggles and lacked any kind of real direction in movement. Now, there is a distinct pattern. Baby sleeps, Baby wakes and wants to play, Baby gets fussy and irritated, and Baby likes to stretch at night. It's cool!

So now entering MONTH SEVEN, I'm still feeling pretty good. I have some new, cute maternity clothes to wear. I owe some pictures to you loyal readers (all three of you) and promise to post them, maybe as an edit to this blog. I will soon have more time to be more faithful in my writing. I'm switching to shorter workdays this week (provided I don't have eighty million things to do) in order to reduce the workload and stress and prevent pre-term labor. Although, I would really appreciate "pre-term" labor at around week 37. That would be awesome.

Mexican Jumping Bean - Doula You Love Me?

2007-10-10T11:49:00.001-07:00

So Mexico was a blast. The weather was warm (okay, hot) and the humidity was approximately that of a steam room, but it was a nice change from the 48-degrees-and-raining Pacific Northwest. I think Baby liked it too. I call him/her my "Mexican Jumping Bean" because at least two or three times per day, the little one was dancing the salsa or something in there!

I am still learning where the Bean is in my belly: what position, which way he/she is facing, and where the feet are. But today, a doula came to talk to all the preggos at Fort Lewis (there are a lot), and she gave us some handouts that showed us not only how to tell where Baby is (through "Belly Mapping") but how to make Baby move! The website where she got/created the handout is here. The Doulas of North America have a website that helps pregnant folks find a doula and birthing center in their local area.

I'm not sure I want a doula because I have a certified nurse midwife, a doctor standing by, and a wonderful husband who will be my partner. Still, it's good to know that I can have him wrap a towel under my belly while I'm on hands and knees and he can "shake the baby" using the towel and squeeze my hips with his legs while standing over me. All that just to get the baby ready to be born. In a position that hopefully won't require too much back labor, too much bleeding, too many stitches, or too many long hours.

With the Bean jumping all over the place as of now, it might be useful to learn a few techniques to ensure he/she isn't trying to put a foot through the birth canal!

Bumpin'

2007-09-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

Last night, while we were lying in bed, I told Devlyn to put his hand on my stomach and feel the baby move. I joked, "Of course, once you put your hand there, the baby will probably stop moving." I was wrong.

The baby kicked Daddy about 2-3 times. I think it kind of freaked him out. But it was so exciting. I think it makes things that much more real for him, too. It's all very real to me because I get to feel the wiggles all the time. But he's only seen ultrasound pictures (which is really awesome, too). Now that he felt our little one move, I think putting the picture together with the feeling is where the magic happens.

Sweet Dreams

2007-09-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

They say that pregnancy causes vivid, off-the-wall, and sometimes very weird dreams. I can honestly say I must not be susceptible to whatever hormone causes that. My dreams (when I remember them) are pretty mundane. Sometimes they involve grocery shopping, or maybe even (gasp!) sitting at my computer at work. My loved ones, however, have had some pretty awe-inspiring, whacko dreams.

I've been forbidden to post my husband's dream from last night, but I must say it was out there... involving potent liquor made from dandelions, airport security issues, and Charles Barkley. My sister had a dream a few weeks ago that she got to hold our baby and know what the sex was, but that the baby wasn't "done" yet so the nurse put it back in me after she was done holding it. Bizarre, no doubt. I only wish my mind were as creative and explorative of the subconscious as theirs.

Oh well! Guess I'll be content with listening to the gurgles and thumps of baby with my handy listening device. I tried to find a stethescope at the drug store, but all I could find is one of those electronic listeners. I think they are a waste of money... a stethescope would be better suited and you can probably hear baby's heartbeat a lot more clearly with one. Especially considering the fact that I could barely hear my OWN heartbeat with the "Bebe Sounds" fetal listener. Listening to those sounds just before bed is somehow calming, and of course, so is looking at the little one sucking his/her thumb!

The technician didn't say Baby was a thumb-sucker, but what does it look like to you?

All in all, I'm feeling good and over halfway there. That picture is from 22 weeks. I'm at 24 weeks now, and crossing the "safety" threshhold where Baby might be able to survive outside (with intensive care). I'm so much more at ease about that, that we're going to Mexico in two weeks for our "babymoon" to celebrate life and our last vacation together before two become three. Wonder if I'll have any good dreams about that!!!

Getting Better all the Time

2007-09-05T08:51:00.000-07:00

Ultrasound for week 22 was completed yesterday. Had the echocardiogram with the specialist looking on. Baby still has two holes (VSDs) in the heart, one of which is "pretty likely" to heal up on its own - maybe even before baby is born. The other has a smaller chance of doing that, but the good news is that it's small enough that it shouldn't require surgery. And they won't get bigger than they already are.

The EIF (calcium spot) is not a concern to the cardiologist or anyone else, either. It is not likely to have any effect on the heart's function.

It sounded great, looked great, and all other baby parts are normal and healthy. Baby weighed one pound, one ounce yesterday. No idea how "big" he/she is because there isn't enough room for baby to really stretch out anymore. Measurements would be inaccurate. They had estimated the growth rate at around the 77th percentile from the previous (week 19) ultrasound though.

The doctor expects baby to grow to full term without further complications, but just to be sure I will have another ultrasound in six to seven weeks. Careful what you wish for!!! I signed up for the gall bladder research so I could get more ultrasounds and see the baby more. With the complications, I have had the opportunity (already) to see more of my baby than most women get in their whole pregnancies.

Stre-e-e-e-etch!

2007-08-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

Abdominal muscles are pretty amazing. They can be super-tight and prevent a person from feeling the little one when he/she is engaged in acrobatics in the womb. They can also be super-stretchy and expand (maybe even to the point of splitting) when baby grows all huge. Now, poke out your stomach and hold it for as long as you can stand. Feel that burn? That would be what it feels like, only I can't release that muscle. It's in constant flex right now to make extra room for baby. Ouch!

I'm handling it pretty well for the most part.

The other thing is, the round ligaments that support the uterus are also being stretched. This causes some rather sharp pains, particularly at night when I roll over. It often wakes me up if my husband doesn't when he tries to push me back onto my left side. FYI, sleeping on the left side is good for baby because it maximizes the amount of blood flow (oxygen, nutrients, life force) from mom.

I keep working out as much as possible, but sometimes things interfere (like the pool being closed indefinitely for repairs, or the aerobics instructor deciding not to show up to class). Having a backup plan for these days is the smart thing to do, but alas, I'm not so smart. Exercise is good for all these pains I'm having, though. And it keeps me from gaining weight too quickly (which I feel like I might be doing now) - finally gaining weight, and I still have to complain!

The really funny thing is that if I get super-excited (maybe during a highly-emotive football game) baby does too. So now all those stretches and burning sensations on the outside are mirrored with some little pokes and jabs from the inside. Gotta love it!

Pictures

2007-08-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

After all this time, here's the 19 Weeks Ultrasound photo update. I had about twenty to choose from, but ultimately, these were the best two. And I'm not trying to make it take all day to upload.

Baby's facial profile, with a little hand waving hello. Or just hanging out up there.

This little foot is already almost one inch long!

So there they are. You can guess all you want about whether it's a boy or girl, but if the technician couldn't tell, neither can YOU. Haha!

Yes, that's you in there!

2007-08-24T19:31:00.000-07:00

I have finally learned to recognize the wiggles as "baby wiggles" instead of gas. Hooray. So all those descriptions of fetal movement didn't really do anything but confuse me. Not to mention my mother's "It feels like you have to go to the bathroom" description.

Here's what it feels like (to me) sometimes:
* Bump-bump-bump against the inside of my abdominal wall (like knocking)
* A "squirming" sensation just above my bowel (like maybe gas still in the process of working its way down)
* A tickle on the inside (I actually laughed aloud a few minutes ago, and I'm not very ticklish)
* A feeling like you might need to burp, but when you do... you realize the feeling is much lower than your esophagus

The bottom line is, there isn't a perfect way to describe it. Not only is every fetal movement (with just the one baby I'm carrying) different, but my sensation of it is likely different from other moms-to-be, and my descriptions are as well.

The good news is, I've been feeling them for a few days now (and I can retroactively include those feelings I wasn't sure about before because I'm sure now). Historically, women have estimated their baby's date of birth at about 147 days after they first felt the baby move. By my calculations, that will put baby at 13 January (5 days late)...if that's even a reasonable estimate. Of course, I know that babies are on their own schedule.

Provided all goes well with the echocardiogram and the next few ultrasounds, I'm anticipating a healthy, full-term baby (I've been saying all along he/she will be late). The best thing ever was when I was at my OB appointment, and the nurse midwife listenend to the heartbeat with the Doppler...baby had the hiccups! I take all small victories as a sign things are going well. Who cares what the doctor said?

There is no sudden realization.

2007-08-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

All that whining I've been doing about not feeling the baby move. I guess I thought I would just kind of know when I could feel it. It would be this special, clearly identifiable moment of clarity when I could say, "Ha! There you are!" and document the date and time.

Unfortunately, it isn't like that for the first-timer. I've been feeling little twinges and gurgles and stuff for a while (see back a few blogs). It's just really tough to distinguish regular body gurgles and baby movements. On the next go-round (if I decide to do this again someday), I'm sure I'll have that "Aha Moment" I was looking for this time, because I'll know what I'm feeling.

But really, when I lie down and am quiet (or even sitting here, as I type), I can feel a little bump, or bubble, or gurgle, or some similar feeling (not those "flutters" many people kept describing, or "the feeling that you have to pee" like my mother said). I tried really hard to focus at the ultrasound, to see if I felt anything when I saw the baby move. But the baby wasn't super active, and plus my stomach kept growling because I was on a partial fast so it overrode any other wiggles I might have noticed.

I'm kind of lazy right now, but I have twenty different ultrasound pictures to choose from. And since the baby was hiding its genitalia, I feel comfortable enough to post a few. Just not right now. The talking of food has made me hungry. Plus, it's time for dinner anyway.

Shot Through the Heart

2007-08-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

I saw eleventy-billion pictures of my baby yesterday. Moving, kicking, squirming, and hiding its face with crossed arms. And hiding its sex with crossed legs (so THERE...baby doesn't want to be identified).

But they saw something on the ultrasound they didn't like. My brilliant husband noticed it too, and he immediately asked, "What is that bright spot in the baby's heart?" The ultrasound technician sort of waived it off as if it were nothing, but then the doctor called us back in.

The bright white was a calcium deposit, known as an Echogenic Intracardiac Focus, or EIF. He said that EIF is a fetal marker for Down Syndrome. Although I had the blood test a few weeks ago and it came up normal, those tests tend to miss approximately 20% of all known cases. We have the option of doing an amniocentesis (where they stick a large needle through my abdomen and draw some of the amniotic fluid around the baby) to get an accurate reading and know for sure, but the risk includes miscarriage at a rate of 1 in 200. The risk of actually having DS is about the same, maybe a little higher. My question is, what would knowing do for us? It wouldn't change the diagnosis, and it certainly wouldn't change our decision to keep our baby. So to me, it isn't worth the risk.

The other thing that was noted on the baby's heart was what is known as a Ventricular Septal Defect, or VSD. This is basically a hole in baby's heart in the muscle between the left and right ventricles. It means very little now because all of the baby's blood is being filtered by my heart. But after birth, the oxygenated blood will mix with and displace the de-oxygenated blood, causing some potentially long-term problems. The problem could fix itself, or baby might need surgery before the age of two. That is more of a wait-and-see thing. Here's a picture of normal versus not normal:

Here's hoping that hole they saw isn't very large (really, what is 3mm in the grand scheme of things?) and that it will repair itself.

I am scheduled for another ultrasound in two weeks, this time with a greater focus on the heart. I was just so excited to see it beating, that I don't even care about anything else.

Ultrasound tomorrow...dare I post pictures?

2007-08-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

Ultrasound number two is tomorrow morning, and I'm really excited to see how much the baby has grown. Maybe I can watch the movements on screen and feel them as well (so I'll know what I'm feeling for). People's descriptions so far have not been helpful in my determining whether that was a baby movement or a bowel gurgle.

The really unfortunate thing is, my husband and I have decided to make the baby's sex surprise, but someone very close to us is trying to ruin that. I am worried that if I post pictures of the baby, this unnamed person will try (as threatened) to get someone else to determine the sex. The reasoning is "to make shopping easier" for everyone.

How about the fact that the parents (Devlyn and me) don't want to find out the sex. And if we don't find out, NOBODY finds out. What's so wrong with wanting it to be a surprise? So many things are unsurprising these days. I've known practically since the day I missed my period that I was pregnant. I've seen what the baby looks like already. I have everything picked out for the baby's room. We even have names picked out (but I'm not telling).

Why can't my wishes be considered? Why can't this person just let me decide how I want my pregnancy to go? If I want it to be a surprise, then dammit, EVERYONE will be surprised.

So, until I get confirmation from that person that they won't try to usurp my parenthood authority or go behind my back to determine the sex and then tell everyone what to buy, nobody gets to see pictures.

Utah is too hot

2007-08-11T17:22:00.000-07:00

So I went to Utah with my soon-to-be-deployed friend Veronica, in an effort to transport her vehicle and donate it to her twin sister.

It's too hot in Utah for pregnant people. Thank you, that is all.

Giggles, Wiggles, Flutters, and Farts

2007-08-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

So a day or two ago, I felt a little "flutter" and was thinking..."YES, this is it!!! I can finally feel the baby moving." But then I pooted. And I sadly realized it was only gas. But, what if the baby was on my bowel and rolled off to allow the air to escape?

I am now beginning Week 18. Some websites say only the overweight moms can't feel their babies move by Week 20. My darling husband said, "I think today's going to be the day." I hope he doesn't have to say it again tomorrow and the next day!

I still poke a finger in my belly periodically to see if I can get a reaction. So far, nothing. This must be the most difficult part of pregnancy. I can't feel the baby move, I don't feel sick, and when I lie down I don't even look pregnant. But my belly is still growing, so unless I'm like Violet Beauregard from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and I need to be "juiced" - I think there's still a growing baby in there.

And I haven't chewed any funky-looking gum given to me by a stranger recently.

Nothing Special about Today

2007-07-28T09:06:00.000-07:00

I'm now at sixteen weeks, 4 days (in the 4th month now). No movement yet, although I have eaten spicy food and sugar in the past few days just to see if that has any effect. Other than making me gassy and hyper, nothing. But, I'm a first-timer, and my recognition of movement may suck too!

I am SHOWING now, however, which makes me pretty excited.

I guess any real concerns I had about whether or not something was wrong have vanished. I feel good. I can relax. Maybe my last week at work was just a little too stressful. My ultrasound will be at nineteen weeks, 1 day. My baby will have a backbone I can see, more developed skull bones, and tooth buds for the PERMANENT teeth (the baby teeth buds are already there).

Next time I go to see the midwife for a checkup, I'll be halfway through the pregnancy. Wow.

Still Kicking

2007-07-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

Even though I can't yet feel it, the baby is still in there, moving around, keeping a healthy 160+ bpm heart rate. I breathed a little sigh of relief as I crossed the 4 month threshhold, the sacred place where rate of miscarriage drops to below 3%.

However relieved I might be, tragedy fell on one of my Soldiers this week, as his wife miscarried after 3 months, 2 days. She'll have a D&C on Monday to remove her fetus, placenta, and excess tissue. I cannot imagine her pain (physical and emotional), trying to explain to her other two children why they won't be welcoming a sibling this winter, or carrying her dead child within her for nearly a full week before the procedure.

I pray for her full recovery, and for her husband's safe return from temporary duty across the country. He will need to be there for her!

15-5 and still alive?

2007-07-22T08:45:00.001-07:00

Fifteen weeks, five days. This seems like a really accurate count, but of course it's not really anything more than counting from the last time "Aunt Flo" was in town.

For the first time, I have begun to wonder if my fetus has died. Right now, I have NO indication that anything is happening inside of me. I don't feel nauseous anymore, my breasts are not really tender anymore, and I still haven't gained any weight. My abdomen protrudes only slightly, so it's really hard for onlookers to say definitely, "Yep she's pregnant."

My appointment tomorrow will make me feel reassured. I just have to wait until then.

14 Weeks

2007-07-13T18:53:00.000-07:00

So we're now on week 14 of this 40-week journey. I'm starting to feel better, although morning sickness still occurs once in a while. It actually hasn't been too overboard though, averaging once a week. I can live with that.

So far, no kicks or murmurs in the tummy. Although, depending on who you ask, it could be anywhere from 18-24 weeks for this first-timer, and according to AmericanPregnancy.org, the range could be from as little as 13 to as much as 25 weeks. How frustrating! I just want to feel a squirm (that doesn't turn out to be gas). Although many liken it to that feeling of bubble guts, I'm hoping I can tell the difference. Especially if I'm really trying to tune in for it.

The great news is, the second ultrasound is coming up next month. And for anyone who was wondering, NO - we're not going to find out the sex. AND we're not going to tell anyone the baby's name until after it's born. Not even the ones we've narrowed it down to! Exciting times are ahead. For everyone who even remotely cares.

Worst Idea Ever!

2007-07-05T09:55:00.000-07:00

So I thought maybe I'd get my education on about labor and delivery. What better way than by checking out The Learning Channel? You learn stuff, and it's pretty well-documented. I'm sure they have great fact-checkers. So I watched "A Baby Story" on TLC, which (if you've never heard of it), is about the last couple of weeks of pregnancy, into labor and delivery, and a couple weeks after the parents are home. It's only a half-hour show. I watched two of them today.

So far, I have determined TWO major facts:

1. Watching "A Baby Story" will make me cry.
2. Watching "A Baby Story" has made me not want to give birth. Like, at all.

Drugs or no drugs, I do not want to force a huge noggin (because if I think about the size of my own head and the size of my husband's head, I have no chance of getting a break here)...out my (let me be polite) girl parts. This is a bad notion at this point, because it's pretty much unavoidable. I can't just remain pregnant, nor will the Army give me a Caesarean unless it's absolutely necessary to save my life. They didn't say if they'd do it if it were necessary to save the doctor's life, though. Maybe if I try to choke out the doctor...

See, if I could give birth, NOW (in the 13th week), my little infant is only 3 inches long from crown to rump (a little longer with the legs and all). I can manage that. Unfortunately, baby can't manage the outside world yet. By the time he or she can handle the outside world, I don't know if I can handle the childbirth!

Please, can't I just be comatose for that part?

12 Weeks, 5 Days

2007-07-01T14:22:00.001-07:00

Not much to report these days. I am still not 100% over the "morning" sickness (because I just barfed at 1:30pm today). Overall, I'm starting to feel a little better though. Insomnia has just begun, and I think it's more stress-related than baby-related. I can't feel the little one moving yet but I know it's only a matter of time. Now that I've seen the bouncing baby (literally, bouncing) on the ultrasound, I know it won't be long before he or she is strong enough to say, "Hey, I'm here!!!"

To my chagrin, I am still not quite "pregnant" looking. I have a few maternity items just for the comfort, but I don't exactly require them yet. I can still fit some of my larger clothes, but even the fat jeans can't be buttoned anymore. I'll probably start wearing the maternity uniform this week since I haven't been able to button the pants for quite some time, and now I'm at the end of the belt. You can see below the utter lack of pregnantness. My "beer gut" (as I affectionately call it) will grow pretty soon, but I guess I didn't realize that it took more than three months to really appear pregnant. Here's hoping I don't go too crazy wishing for that "pregnant look" that I unwittingly gain 70 pounds!

So far, I've only lost ten...and gained zero.

Hair, hair, everywhere

2007-06-26T08:00:00.001-07:00

I have always had problems shaving under my arms, and I always hated the "moustache." So I went and had something done about it. From late 2005 to early 2006, I had laser hair removal. It was expensive - even with my Super-Duper discount for having been pals with the gal who does it. My mom took her wedding pictures for discount rates, so she felt it nice to return the favor and we both got discounts.

Pregnancy hormones are evil. $300 and lots of owwies later, I am growing hair again. I have pit hair, le moustache, chin stubble, and a few long ones on my breasts. I will not even begin to discuss "down there." I shave, pluck, and scowl at the ever-growing problem. I'm starting to wonder if I've wasted that money or if maybe after the hormones die down everything will resume some semblance of normalcy.

I know it won't be that inexpensive if I have to do laser removal again. So the cost will outweigh the benefit. My baby will need diapers. And I will need lotions and ointments to soothe the burning rash I inevitably get from shaving under my arms. And I will need ice packs to put on my face after I yank out my moustache and goatee.

It's funny. Pregnancy is the most girlie thing a female can do. Yet it makes us look like men. Or yeti. How odd!

Ultrasound One

2007-06-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

I don't need to say much. It was amazing. And you can see the baby move, and its little heart just pumping away! We got to hear the REAL heartbeat today (way different from the Doppler swoosh).

The upper picture is with baby all curled up. He or she stretched afterward. The lower picture has the baby's hand near its mouth (thumb-sucking is still a ways off, but the baby's checking them out anyway). The bright white lines on its face are its jawbones. The little skinny things sticking out front are legs.

Okay, I'm done talking. Take a look! (Click the pictures to get a better view.)

There's no sex when you vomit

2007-06-14T21:14:00.001-07:00

For those who recognized the (very) loose Bush reference (that would be the band, not the President), congratulations. Now, on to the subject at hand.

One relatively alarming (well, for the daddy-to-be, anyway) side-effect of pregnancy is the loss of libido. Well, some say there's an increase but not for me. I went from (well, never mind where I used to be) down to flat zero sex drive. It isn't anything in particular I can pinpoint, so I'll just list a few things that I think contribute.

1. Feeling "unsexy." This can be likened to that bloated, gassy feeling you might have after eating way too much, or maybe you just don't feel pretty. Or that you think you look like a whale because you can't zip your favorite jeans up anymore.

2. Nauseous Maximus. This would be that queasy feeling not unlike seasickness that I feel nearly every day at varying points in the day. Could be that I ate too little, or maybe I ate too much. Maybe I ate something that the baby hated and hasn't had the nerve to develop any language skills to tell me yet. Either way, this unfortunate side effect often leads to....

3. Spewage. Disgusting, surprising, repulsive, whatever you want to call it. It's vomit. It's bad enough when you've just eaten what you thought was a nice, healthy breakfast. It's much worse when you've fasted for 12 hours in order to have your base level glucose measured in a blood draw and all you have is disgusting yellow stomach bile. (Side note: Stomach bile looks a lot like a thoroughly whisked runny egg yolk when it goes in the toilet, which made me laugh at the thought, right before I heaved more of it this morning.)

4. Pregnancy-induced psychosis. This may need explaining. I've gone completely mad. I love you one minute, hate you the next. I am happy and then utterly depressed. I am fixated on cleaning, then I can't possibly be expected to lift a finger while I'm growing a baby inside me. My poor husband deals with this on a regular basis and hasn't tried to kill me yet. Although my pillow was on top of my head this morning.

5. Desire mixed with Revulsion. This last one is harder to explain. It's the same feeling I have when I eat, even though I don't want to. I'm hungry and desire the food, but I'm not sure if I'll feel good afterwards or if I'll go yak it up again. The only thing that makes me eat anyway is the prospect of harming my little fetus if I don't. There is no such catch to failure to orgasm. Or even failure to want to pretend to try. So I gaze over lovingly at my husband because I want to... but then something inside me says, "But you might get seasick or be in pain or it might not be good or you might need to change positions ten times or you're too picky anyway, or..." you get the idea.

The worst part is, he's so in tune with my emotional state (crazy as it may be right now), that he can tell if I'm not really into it and only doing it for him (which I did already try once). This, in turn, makes it totally not fun for him. So I have given up for now. I just hope that when the second trimester comes, all the nasty part of being pregnant will vanish with the first trimester and we can be close to normal again. Maybe, everything will even be zen.

Pregnancy Week 9

2007-06-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

The ninth week so far has been okay. I've done a lot this week, including attend a college orientation with Devlyn and attend a Police concert at Key Arena!

I have lost a total of ten pounds, mostly from the changes in eating habits. I eat a lot more often, but tend to eat a lot less at a time. My overall caloric intake has dropped a little, but it seems that the eating all day has made the biggest change. I know I'll start gaining soon. I'm trying not to be too alarmed just yet. Maybe it's ten pounds I didn't need (unhealthy ones) or maybe it's loss of muscle mass from the changes I've made in my workout. I'm not sure, but I'm trying to not let it bother me.

Mostly what I've noticed is the fatigue and the nausea when I don't eat. Of course, sometimes it's even when I DO eat. Then there's the gas. Nobody ever told me that flatulence and belching were going to be at an all-time high during pregnancy. It's uncontrollable, and sometimes it's painful!

At least I have a general idea of how my grape-sized baby is doing. A lovely woman I met at Devlyn's college orientation said the way I feel is a sign that things are going normally. I use that to make me feel better when the "symptoms" get ridiculous. Here's a picture of what my little nugget looks like (in theory) by now.

The good news is, I'll get a real chance to see him or her for the first time coming up in a couple of weeks. My first appointment with the midwife is on the 18th, and my first ultrasound (thanks to that gall bladder study) will be on the 21st. So I'll have a cute little picture like this one (but not this one) to show off!

I'm growing a little bit more anxious, but that feeling comes and goes. My belly is starting to look a little "swole" (maybe actually from my grapefruit-sized uterus now rather than from all the bowel distension), so I'm starting to feel more pregnant than before. Even though the skin isn't really stretching yet, I have scratched my tummy a few times without thinking. It's not even itchy! I also do the subconscious belly rub and the "hold" a lot. All moms, I'm sure, know what I mean by the "hold" but just to explain to those who don't know, this is when I rest my hand(s) on my belly around the tiny bulge.

Things are moving along, and life is good. When I get more obviously round, I'll post a picture of me on here. I know, the anticipation is probably more than you can handle. Hang in there!

More than fatigue

2007-06-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not showing yet, and here's why. That baby takes up NO space yet. I read in yet another pregnancy guide that my belly is all swole because of my "excessive bloating and distended bowel from gas or constipation." So my pants may be tight, but it isn't baby... I just have to fart.

The newest change for me is the fatigue. I'm pretty sleepy all day. Not sure if it's from getting up to go pee at various times during the night, if it's the strain of growing a parasite from scratch, or both. I'd say, both. It's really hard to get used to the fact that my heart is pounding just from walking up the stairs to go to bed. And I'm all out of breath, and not even working that hard!

Turns out, I'm increasing blood volume to support the little growth I have inside me, which makes my heart work harder, thus making me a big wimp when it comes to "strenuous" activity. I got all hot and tired today after watering the grass. WATERING THE GRASS!!!

We've been given the option of seeing either an obstetrician or a certified nurse midwife (CNM) for this pregnancy, thanks to the Madigan Army Medical Center at Fort Lewis. Since I'm in good health and this doesn't seem to be a high-risk pregnancy so far, we've opted for the CNM. If I decide that she's too "touchy-feely" for me, I can switch over to the doc at any time. Also, an obstetrician will be on-call for me during the birth so if anything goes horribly wrong that the midwife can't handle, a doc is right there anyway.

I've registered on Babies-R-Us and "spent" a friggin' fortune already. I had no ideas babies were so expensive. And I'm not even looking at the nice, expensive stuff. I sort by lowest price before clicking. To give you an idea, when you click the Babies-R-Us link, click on Registry, and then put in this number: 47809796 (or you can search by my name). I'm not even close to being finished with the stuff we need, and it's already crazy-high!

All this excitement has gotten me (yet again) a bit sluggish. So I think I'll take a late-day nap. Or maybe just go to bed at 6:30. Either way, I need to rest.

Health Studies RULE!

2007-05-30T19:57:00.000-07:00

I signed up to be in a gall bladder/pregnant lady health study. Here's why studies are cool:

1. You get extra health care coverage that others don't. Case in point: I get THREE ultrasounds when most people only get one. I'll get one in my first trimester, when usually the only one you get is at 20 weeks (5 months).

2. You don't have to pay for said coverage and sometimes, they pay you. For me, I'll have to get my blood drawn three times, and I'll get paid for two of them. Probably only ten bucks, but it's more than I had so... why not?

3. You might learn something. For example, maybe I'll learn if I have a future of gall stones or if my future is stone-free. (I do what I want) Tell me if you got that reference.

In all, I think I'm racking up pretty good. They ask a few questions, stick a few needles, but overall I get extra "baby" pictures that others don't get plus a little insight into the functions of the pregnant lady gall bladder. Who could ask for more?

So tomorrow I'll give them a call and make my appointment for the first ultra-sound. I can't wait to see my little peanut for the first time!

Trip the Life Barf-tastic

2007-05-29T07:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, so flying during the eighth week is not recommended by this pregnant mom-to-be.

There isn't anything particularly unhealthy about it, but air travel is always more fun when people aren't watching you while you utilize the well-placed barf bag. It happened on two separate flights, on two separate days. The good news? I can get it all in the bag and not splash anyone or anything. The bad news? Since I'm not "showing" yet, people don't know whether I'm pregnant or drunk. And I saw enough head shaking to think most of them thought I was hammered.

Oh well! Trimester TWO should be better. Three more weeks to go until I get there, though.

Baby on Board: Flying at 8 Weeks

2007-05-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

Tonight we board a Delta Airlines flight, the number of which I cannot remember, to head east. We're going "home" for Devlyn's birthday, to North Carolina, where nearly all of our friends and most of our family live.

I was excited about the prospect of doing this, especially before we discovered I was pregnant. We've had these tickets quite a while now. But now that things have, um, changed it makes everything kind of scary and strange. I don't like flying anyway, and I usually feel a twitter of yuck in my tummy when the plane takes off and when it lands. Now, however, I will be having baby twitters and motion twitters and it could lead to a disastrous use of the little baggie in the seat-back in front of me.

I'll let you know how it goes. And I'll try to stop using made-up words like "twitter" so much.

I'm a big fattie

2007-05-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

For the first few weeks, one doesn't really feel "pregnant" so much as one feels simply "fat."

My clothes do not fit correctly, but not to the point where purchases must be made. I drink a ton of water, most of which I retain, so I feel bloated and unattractive. On top of all that, I am now working out with other pregnant women (part of the Army's program to increase wellness among its pregnant Soldiers) - most of whom have very obviously pregnant bellies (even the smaller ones).

But today, I felt pregnant for real. It was the first time I actually went to the toilet for the purpose of puking. Thankfully, I did not. I hate throwing up so much that I cannot comprehend the concept of bulimia. Voluntarily puking is like saying, "Purple trees taste like licorice....but only on Wednesdays." It just doesn't make sense to me.

I guess it's all starting to settle in. I looked for maternity clothes today at the mall. Let me tell you, it was a waste of time. The girls in the stores all said I should shop at Lane Bryant. Wow. Talk about a real pick-me-up after thinking all week that I was fat and that pregnancy is just fatness that is allowed by society. Yuck. So, I will probably wait until my pants must remain unbuttoned and/or unzipped for me to wear them comfortably. I have seen things somewhat like a tube top that you can put around your waist for the purpose of holding your pants up should you choose to wear them unbuttoned and unzipped. I guess that's for those really awesome jeans that make my butt look great. I should probably buy a pair first...

At any rate, the pregnancy is beginning to feel like one. Just in time for my embryo to stop looking like a "squirrel" and start becoming more tadpole or even baby gerbil-looking! Gestation is a beautiful thing...until it gives you indigestion.

Cheerios are almost magical

2007-05-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

Nausea has set in. Day and night. No puking yet, but I feel it's only a matter of time.

Enter the Cheerios.

I have a box right by my bed, so I can munch on them right when I wake up, or if I wake up in the middle of the night. Or right before bed. Or when I just walk by...

Okay, so it's not THAT bad. But it does actually help. I learned that the majority of issues with nausea and morning sickness in general is drastic drops in blood sugar. Or drastic increases. So the point is to eat a little something all day. Thank goodness I'm already well-trained at that!

Eating for Two

2007-05-11T23:43:00.000-07:00

I am delighted to know that I can eat for two. Although the second one is only about a half-inch long and looks (as my husband described) "like a squirrel." So I'm really only entitled to about 300 more calories per day than usual. I tend to do that by accident anyway, so I really shouldn't change my eating habits just yet.

Except for one very important thing: there is stuff that I like to eat that I cannot eat while pregnant. I guess I already knew it, but I sort of conveniently forgot. Now that I "remember" it really sucks.

I like bologna sandwiches. But according to a couple of online articles, lunch meat has a higher risk for e.coli and other forms of bacteria (which pregnant women are more susceptible to catching than other folks). Also, I cannot eat sushi and pretty much seafood in general should be taken with caution. Fish get stuff from the water that can be passed on to me and my baby. So, seafood is out (and I was thinking about crab legs earlier)! The really crazy paranoid one (which I probably won't obey) is that I shouldn't eat peanut butter and other types of food that are potentially allergenic in case my baby may be allergic to it in the future. Really? That's what the articles said.

I guess it's no different from being on a fad diet. Except if I don't follow this one with some strictness, I might kill or otherwise maim my unborn embryo (not a fetus yet). I still cannot resist the temptation, however, to use said embryo as an excuse for a second helping.

"The baby's hungry," I say before I munch away.

The day I knew

2007-05-10T15:45:00.000-07:00

WARNING: Contents in this blog may be graphic and way too personal for the average reader. But if you're curious about how I knew that I was pregnant, here's how.

I knew what was up when my boobs started hurting (more than the little twinge before a period), and when I had to pee every five minutes regardless of the amount of water I'd had to drink, and the final clue was when my period was about 5 days late. I said to myself, "This is it." But I waited another 2 days to take the home pregnancy test.

And it was positive.

So, a few days later, to alleviate my husband's paranoia that it wasn't "real," I went to the clinic to have blood drawn for a serum test. One hour later, I was still pregnant but now had a due date: 9 January.

Our anniversary is 12 January so we'll have a new bundle just in time for our seven-year itch to begin!