It has now been six months since we lost our little one. I have heard some women say that the only thing that made them feel better was trying again. I have felt better. Much better, most days. I have also felt numb and raw pain, but not nearly as bad as at the beginning. And I still feel like someone is missing from our lives.
So, we have decided that our way of moving on will be to try again. We have talked about it for a couple of months and have had a window in mind. I will have to start my pre-doctoral internship next fall. Our options are to try now and hope for a baby before my internship begins, or to wait until sometime during the internship to try again.
It's frustrating that we have to plan so much around all the things in our lives. I am "old" in terms of birthing years. Any pregnancy we have now will be considered high risk because of my age. No, I'm not signing up for AARP or anything, but risks start to increase at my age and fertility starts its gentle descent.
We don't really know what the future will hold. But maybe, just maybe.... I'll get to start blogging about pregnancy again.
